Does anyone else miss how life felt so magical as a kid

[death137]

The peak of my happiness was when I was 9. From there life started to get bad especially after 18 it has been very disgusting. Now I'm 23.

 

[Blueman]

No. Didn't have a bad childhood but preferred adulthood early 50s were great .
Now I've messed up so 55 on will be dreadful

 

[Stick]

The only thing I miss about my childhood is thinking my adulthood would mean freedom, and also my cat.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Some TV shows were better when I was a kid, but otherwise my actual life sucked so bad I had to escape to tv in the first place. My parents were always fighting, I was not very popular in school because I was an idiot, and I never got to hang out with the few friends I had. I also don't miss not being able to buy my own food or drive wherever I please. In fact, I don't think I truly started living life until I was 18.

 

[Meditation guide]

that changed when I started to get bullied at school

Yes that does have a way of changing how you view things. Nothing is the same.

 

[RC90]

Yes when I was a kid, life was like a Walt Disney world to me...

 

[Mm80]

I can relate to this.
When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.
But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible
Logical, oh responsible, practical,
they showed me a world where I could be so dependable clinical, intellectual, cynical

 

[RC90]

I can relate to this.
When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.
But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible
Logical, oh responsible, practical,
they showed me a world where I could be so dependable clinical, intellectual, cynical

Exactly.....

 

[Mm80]

Exactly.....

There are times when all the world's asleep, The questions run too deep
For such a simple man.

 

[RC90]

There are times when all the world's asleep, The questions run too deep
For such a simple man.

Forever young, I wanna be forever young, do you really wanna live forever, forever, and ever....

 

[Mm80]

Forever young, I wanna be forever young, do you really wanna live forever, forever, and ever....

Haha brilliant

 

[Busdriver]

Forever young, I wanna be forever young, do you really wanna live forever, forever, and ever....

I hear this song every day. I like the song, but don't like the lyrics.

Yes! I miss how I thought life as an adult would be better. It was a magical feeling that kept me going when down. When you become older and realize life won't be better, but instead be more terrible, that is when CTB becomes imperative..

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Not for me. I've had social anxiety since pre- school. Back in the day, I was in something called "Indian Guides" (and, no I did not grow up in India - I'm from the states, so major PC violation), unlike the other little kids, i would not wear my headband with a feather in it. Didn't want the attention and felt it looked stupid. Next, got in trouble all the time for refusing to wear my cub scout uniform to school. The den mother compromised with me, so I only had to wear the top. Didnt want the intention, plus it looked stupid. Next, hated wearing my little league baseball uniform on the city bus to get to the park for games and practices. Didnt want the attention and it looked stupid. Same idea wearing my Pop Warner football (American) on the bus......etc, etc.

I was clearly over the top self conscious. No doubt a huge factor in my disfunction today.

I can go on and on. Basically, I was riddled with anxiety and no one helped me. "Thems the breaks".

Got better in general junior high (middle school) as I started self medicating with pot, hash, and beer.

 

[Hazelnut]

I spent most of my childhood and all of my teenage years finding refuge in a lot of books and video games related to fantasy, magic and fantastic worlds.
Having to face the cruel, mundane and alienating "life" that almost everyone has to deal with was a cold shower for sure.
Especially when you thought that your adult life would free you from another hell, like an abusive "family".

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I miss being able to picture myself developing to be a respectable person. I hadn't encountered any problems that would highlight my flaws as a person yet so I had that nice ignorance.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I miss being able to picture myself developing to be a respectable person. I hadn't encountered any problems that would highlight my flaws as a person yet so I had that nice ignorance.

Actually that is something I also miss from being a kid. When I was 5-10, I was so sure I'd have my life together when I turn 16. Then I believed it was when I turned 18. Then when I turned 18, I thought I'd graduate by the time I turned 22. When I was 22, I still held on to the faint hope that I might become the best version of myself by the time I'm 30. Now I am 26 and I realize that best version of myself will still be pretty terrible and doesn't deserve to exist so I feel like I definitely have to ctb at that point. I'm still holding onto the 1 in 14,000,605 chance that I become even better than the best version of myself (which would still be a pretty below average human being) but once I'm 30, that ship will definitely have sailed so I will hopefully commit to CTB'ing for sure at that point.

 

[Sweet Release]

I don't miss my childhood on the whole as I was bullied a lot but there are two things from those years I dearly miss -

1) Genuinely believing that my life would get better.

2) When my mother would comfort me and everything would feel alright again.
One of the harshest realities of growing older was realising that sometimes it won't be ok again, sometimes things happen that are so terrible that it can never go back to how it used to be.

I miss being able to picture myself developing to be a respectable person. I hadn't encountered any problems that would highlight my flaws as a person yet so I had that nice ignorance.

Same here.
I used to have such a better image of myself.

 

[WinterFaust]

No, my childhood was terrible. Being an adult was far better even with the chronic depression. I've been back in my childhood home for the past year. I'm sure that hasn't helped any of my recovery attempts.

 

[Mr2005]

I'm only 18 years old but life already lost all its magic i felt when i was a kid...

No I miss being 18 years old.

 

[Good4Nothing]

The world is the same, but we have changed

I'm 48 years old. I disagree. The world has definitely gotten darker.

 

[Bauhaus]

My peak was when I was 14-16 years old.
I was addicted to sci-fi books then: Jack Vance, Asimov, Larry Niven, Harry Harrison, Philip José Farmer, Roger Zelazny, and many many more.
I lived in my own fantasy world, populated by robots, spaceships and colorful alien cultures.
And now it's all gone, like tears in the rain ...

 

[voyager]

Yeah, feel that way as well, or at least did. For me life was magical until 16. I loved it. Was really happy and looking forward to each new day. Wouldn't call it blinded by rose tinted glasses either, because I do remember being terrified as a seven year old when an au pair tried to beat my blind great aunt to pulp with an iron bar, or the moment I cried my eyes out on a friend's shoulder by the prospect of being expelled from school, or being deeply saddened when my single mum sat on the edge of the bed sobbing how "she can't do this anymore". But that wasn't the norm just extremes and for the most part life was really good and I was at peace with myself and could deal with problems because they couldn't penetrate my inner core.

Then at 16 it all went wrong, but thing is altough I knew life was over and I'd never recover I could still enjoy some things like games, music or movies, and not least getting drunk and dwelling on nostalgia. Around thirty though I went numb. My memories became hazy and in general the feeling of nostalgia and anything at all just passed. Don't feel human anymore. My memory is a mess and the memories I do still posess feel like somebody else's, like from a movie or another life.

I definitely miss the innocent ignorance is bliss of childhood. As a child I had hope for a better future despite things not being good. Maybe it's just nostalgia but I miss that time of life..things were way better than now. It took time for the suicidal thoughts and depression to set in... probably happened about age 13 or 14. I have hated being and adult with the burning passion of a thousand dying suns. I'm not cut out for adult life. I failed miserably at everything..responsibility, financial independence, relationships (severe abuse in a relationship that killed my will to live), no "career" just pointless jobs...I just want to not feel anymore. Life feels like the biggest let down and lie.

Agree with what you said. For me there's a constant severe pain underneath, one I can't explain, so I do understand not wanting to feel anything, but if one can still feel a somewhat pleasureable feeling like nostalgia I'd say that's probably preferable to feeling nothing at all.

Yes, life was far more better while young, the main bit being the nostalgia that I could feel for everything. By this, everything had a scent to show how I felt. The smell of the sun while waiting on the hot asphalt for the bus to come and pick me up to school, or waiting for parents. The smell of the wind when the sun was setting in autumn when outside with my brothers. Everything had a smell to designate how I would feel, and then one day during my sophomore year of highschool it just died. I couldn't smell these smells anymore and its killed me ever since.

Can relate to this very much. My entire life revolved around smelling, hearing, seeing and feeling things in my surroundings. It would remain in my memory quite vividly and I could return to it anytime, alsmost like it was still there. Would fuel my nostalgia for years. But it's gone now.

 

[MariV]

definitely...do you know alan watts? he believes we reincarnate to live the freshness and intensity of life, which gets dull and weary when you become an adult. i hope so, everything was so magical as a child

 

[Deleted member 19276]

Both yes and no. I had to deal with a lot of abuse from peers at the time of my youth so, yeah.

 

[KleinerWolf]

Lol life was worse for me when I was a kid.
Now that I'm an "adult", I see how much I missed out on.

 

[Mr2005]

Yeah, feel that way as well, or at least did. For me life was magical until 16. I loved it. Was really happy and looking forward to each new day. Wouldn't call it blinded by rose tinted glasses either, because I do remember being terrified as a seven year old when an au pair tried to beat my blind great aunt to pulp with an iron bar, or the moment I cried my eyes out on a friend's shoulder by the prospect of being expelled from school, or being deeply saddened when my single mum sat on the edge of the bed sobbing how "she can't do this anymore". But that wasn't the norm just extremes and for the most part life was really good and I was at peace with myself and could deal with problems because they couldn't penetrate my inner core.

Then at 16 it all went wrong, but thing is altough I knew life was over and I'd never recover I could still enjoy some things like games, music or movies, and not least getting drunk and dwelling on nostalgia. Around thirty though I went numb. My memories became hazy and in general the feeling of nostalgia and anything at all just passed. Don't feel human anymore. My memory is a mess and the memories I do still posess feel like somebody else's, like from a movie or another life.


Agree with what you said. For me there's a constant severe pain underneath, one I can't explain, so I do understand not wanting to feel anything, but if one can still feel a somewhat pleasureable feeling like nostalgia I'd say that's probably preferable to feeling nothing at all.

Can relate to this very much. My entire life revolved around smelling, hearing, seeing and feeling things in my surroundings. It would remain in my memory quite vividly and I could return to it anytime, alsmost like it was still there. Would fuel my nostalgia for years. But it's gone now.

I could have written that myself (except I couldn't I'm too illiterate) but yeah the bit about it going wrong at 16 but having nostalgia to enjoy and then 30 happens. I've spent so long doing that that I now have a whole new heap of memories and they fill me with horror

 

[RC90]

I hear this song every day. I like the song, but don't like the lyrics.

Yes! I miss how I thought life as an adult would be better. It was a magical feeling that kept me going when down. When you become older and realize life won't be better, but instead be more terrible, that is when CTB becomes imperative..

That's why those lyrics mean so much to me, he makes a question, do you really what to live forever or forever young.

 

[Antigonish]

As a kid, I was naive and didn't realize it. Now that I'm older the moments in my childhood that I haven't repressed seriously are a bit traumatic. That may be a bit dramatic. But I'm sensitive.

 

[Busdriver]

That's why those lyrics mean so much to me, he makes a question, do you really what to live forever or forever young.

Would you live forever of be forever young?
I don't want both, to be honest..

 

[TheSoulless]

I'm also 18 and feel this way. I often think back on it and it makes me sad. I wouldn't want to go back to that bubble, since the state of the world is what made the illusion go away, but I still miss it.