Venting Does anyone else find therapy completely useless?

[Katatonia]

Ive been going to therapy for a couple months now and honestly i feel its completely useless. It just feels like the same "so you have these thoughts? How often? What are they?" And i explain it, and there seems to be no conclusion. I really dont understand the point of her asking me anything if it just leads to nothing. Its starting to feel like a chore where i just lie and say "oh yes these thoughts have gotten better" because im not very fond of repeating myself for the 7th time.

And today, i ended up slipping and telling her i had suicidal thoughts. And she had to stop me midway and bring up this intervention thing. Seriously, whats the point? I honestly feel much worse now and i certainly dont want to go back. If anything i feel more suicidal. I cant even speak about how i feel.

Is my therapist just mediocre or this how it is for everyone? Feels a bit scammy...

 

[Theresnoescape]

I've never been to therapy and I can't say I want to either, for exactly the reasons you've just described.

I don't see how talking to someone who doesn't have these feelings will help, I feel that talking to like minded people on here is better therapy.

Good luck with it if you do decide to carry on with it though, some people do benefit from it it's just not for me personally.

 

[graveflower]

yeah i get what you mean. i dont think every therapist is mediocre like that or it just kinda depends on the therapist. i could be wrong but the "how does that make you feel...?" type of therapy is like the traditional old school approach- and also a sign of a pretty passive therapist who is just letting you do most of the heavy-lifting lol. that kind of line of questioning doesn't necessarily work on people who are self-aware about their thoughts and feelings. a good therapist shouldn't have you talk around in circles looping the same thoughts with no new insight or perspective- it should eventually (ideally) go somewhere. if youre earlier in the process with this therapist, i guess they could maybe be asking repetitive questions to gauge patterns? but by a few months, that should be over by now.

there are multiple types of therapy. some work better than others for different situations and people.

ultimately the choice is yours, but i assume that if you're in therapy, its safe to say you do want to seek some type of help. before you write that therapist off- or therapy entirely off, i'd ask them "what's the plan here?" and see if they actually have a concrete battle plan to help you with your struggles. if they don't provide an adequate answer, it might be time to move onto a new therapist/new style that does work for you. im sorry you're dealing with this, though- it sounds maddening.

 

[Asya]

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[Slark]

I've been in therapy for about two years, and I don't know if it works, but I like it. I've developed enough intimacy with my therapist to talk about suicidal thoughts without her thinking I'm crazy. It's good because I usually don't have anyone to talk to about these things. In today's world, everyone is living in their own bubble, and telling someone else about your problems seems like a crime.

 

[ilovenewyork]

My current therapist is punching a clock. Just finds ways to pass the 45 minutes. My previous therapist was very good. Asked hard direct questions and made what felt like progress.

 

[Katatonia]

yeah i get what you mean. i dont think every therapist is mediocre like that or it just kinda depends on the therapist. i could be wrong but the "how does that make you feel...?" type of therapy is like the traditional old school approach- and also a sign of a pretty passive therapist who is just letting you do most of the heavy-lifting lol. that kind of line of questioning doesn't necessarily work on people who are self-aware about their thoughts and feelings. a good therapist shouldn't have you talk around in circles looping the same thoughts with no new insight or perspective- it should eventually (ideally) go somewhere. if youre earlier in the process with this therapist, i guess they could maybe be asking repetitive questions to gauge patterns? but by a few months, that should be over by now.

there are multiple types of therapy. some work better than others for different situations and people.

ultimately the choice is yours, but i assume that if you're in therapy, its safe to say you do want to seek some type of help. before you write that therapist off- or therapy entirely off, i'd ask them "what's the plan here?" and see if they actually have a concrete battle plan to help you with your struggles. if they don't provide an adequate answer, it might be time to move onto a new therapist/new style that does work for you. im sorry you're dealing with this, though- it sounds maddening.

Im assuming its because shes a new therapist, free insurance doesnt give many options. I was mostly speaking to her about OCD and i realized she was reassuring me, which is the opposite thing you should do when it comes to OCD. Im thinking i need to see a more specialized therapist. Of course those kind of therapists arent free though, and usually more expensive. I guess im just in an unfortunate situation. Oh well, maybe therapy just isnt for me.

 

[graveflower]

do you have Medicaid? I was on it, and I managed to find a therapist I liked. I don't know how productive he was, though, because we were both pretty ADHD with very similar fixations so we spent a lot of time just discussing those interests, haha. but even that alone was beneficial, and he did genuinely teach me some coping skills to tackle the emotional regulation issues I have with my ADHD. I'm going out on a limb and assuming you're also from the US (apologies if I'm wrong), but you're really not as limited as you think. I just googled this so take this part with a grain of salt but I think OCD responds better to ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) therapy. from what I've gathered, ERP therapy isn't necessarily more expensive- what matters is finding a provider who does ERP that accepts your insurance. the nuance there, unfortunately, is that ERP therapists are a little more difficult to find.

If treatment is what you want, it'd be unfortunate to see you give up on it because you deserve it- you deserve to feel better. i respect your choice either way if you truly feel that it is not for you, but I'd like for you to keep in the back of your mind that there very likely are some doors that can still be opened for you.

 

[Katatonia]

do you have Medicaid? I was on it, and I managed to find a therapist I liked. I don't know how productive he was, though, because we were both pretty ADHD with very similar fixations so we spent a lot of time just discussing those interests, haha. but even that alone was beneficial, and he did genuinely teach me some coping skills to tackle the emotional regulation issues I have with my ADHD. I'm going out on a limb and assuming you're also from the US (apologies if I'm wrong), but you're really not as limited as you think. I just googled this so take this part with a grain of salt but I think OCD responds better to ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) therapy. from what I've gathered, ERP therapy isn't necessarily more expensive- what matters is finding a provider who does ERP that accepts your insurance. the nuance there, unfortunately, is that ERP therapists are a little more difficult to find.

If treatment is what you want, it'd be unfortunate to see you give up on it because you deserve it- you deserve to feel better. i respect your choice either way if you truly feel that it is not for you, but I'd like for you to keep in the back of your mind that there very likely are some doors that can still be opened for you.

I googled a little bit and im having trouble finding nearby therapists who accept both my healthcare and do ERP. Im thinking i could perhaps reach out to my doctor and see if they would be able to find anything (i could also just be looking in the wrong place, im not too bright). I live further out in the countryside so its a little more trouble finding therapists. I do think i will look into this more though as i think i need a therapist who understands OCD and i find it hard to open up to anyone about it who doesnt. No offense to my current therapist, shes nice, but its clear she doesnt get it. I appreciate the help a lot, thank you.

 

[graveflower]

I googled a little bit and im having trouble finding nearby therapists who accept both my healthcare and do ERP. Im thinking i could perhaps reach out to my doctor and see if they would be able to find anything (i could also just be looking in the wrong place, im not too bright). I live further out in the countryside so its a little more trouble finding therapists. I do think i will look into this more though as i think i need a therapist who understands OCD and i find it hard to open up to anyone about it who doesnt. No offense to my current therapist, shes nice, but its clear she doesnt get it. I appreciate the help a lot, thank you.

hey- im rural too, so i get the struggle. i think thats where options like telehealth might be more feasible. or searching keywords like "ocd specialist" and similar. you're definitely brighter than you think if you're able to identify the mismatch in your treatment btw- its just that they don't always make it super easy to search for this kind of thing. absolutely do reach out to your doctor. their job is to advocate for you, especially in things like this. i wish you the best of luck. :)

 

[flowerbomb]

I am sorry to hear that your therapist reacted like this, Katatonia.

 

[PanaxMan]

Ive been going to therapy for a couple months now and honestly i feel its completely useless. It just feels like the same "so you have these thoughts? How often? What are they?" And i explain it, and there seems to be no conclusion. I really dont understand the point of her asking me anything if it just leads to nothing. Its starting to feel like a chore where i just lie and say "oh yes these thoughts have gotten better" because im not very fond of repeating myself for the 7th time.

And today, i ended up slipping and telling her i had suicidal thoughts. And she had to stop me midway and bring up this intervention thing. Seriously, whats the point? I honestly feel much worse now and i certainly dont want to go back. If anything i feel more suicidal. I cant even speak about how i feel.

Is my therapist just mediocre or this how it is for everyone? Feels a bit scammy...

Pretty much a near clone of me which ended me going to the psych ward. Luckily I'm a decent liar and was able to go free without much. It fucking sucks alot

 

[Forever Sleep]

I only went to a few meetings with a college therapist but, I found it intrusive- which I suppose it has to be. While she probably didn't intend it, I also found the experience somewhat judgemental- although, maybe that was my paranoia.

I think maybe it might be useful to consider what you want out of them. Do you want to be given new perspectives or, ways of dealing with your problems? Do you want to talk in depth about things to try and figure out how these problems/ feelings started?

Maybe you could try to guide the session towards something you might find more useful. I think it's reasonable to say- 'I'd like to talk to you about this today...' to try to guide them away from the same old loops.

Ultimately- why are you seeing them? What is it you want them to help you with?