I definitely feel this way—even my own family members comment on how "fundamentally broken" I am
Always too much of a downer or too hyper. Always talking too much or not enough. Always obsessed over something or apathetic towards it. Not only that, but the things I'm usually obsessed with are niche fandom stuff. (Ships—in the fandom context—are a primary example of this as I've fixated on ships such as Hannigram and Dimileth in the past—and still occasionally fixate on to this day.) I'm a being of extremes, and it's rough seeing people get disgusted by it in real time
Doesn't help that I feel like a bull in a china shop every time I exist in a space full of other people. There are times where I swear someone's staring at me, silently judging me and snickering with their friends over how much of a freak I am as they snap photos and me and share them with some elaborate social network that only I'm oblivious to
I want to stay true to myself and be genuine with others in the hopes that, one day, I'll "find my people", but this feels like a pipe dream more often than not the longer I exist among society. Only problem is that I don't think I can convincingly change who I am
