Venting Doctors running in circles

[ladidabi]

I got results from the complete blood count, everything looked perfect. Yet I know for my next appointment they will still suggest I'm deficient is something, who even knows what it is. Though I was very surprised at the results, it won't really solve anything.

Every time I straight up mention I'm depressed and suicidal, I get hit with «yep, lacking vitamin D» or «walk more».

My neurologist SWORE I had a poor diet which caused my chronic migraine.

I would understand it if this was when I was over 200 pounds a few years ago. Or if I was a literal skeleton. I might hate my looks but I can clearly see that objectively my proportions are balanced and have a lean figure. I don't know if they're doing an attempt to motivate me even harder to restriction as self harm. As someone with PCOS, tests show hormones are balanced due to effective treatment, so they can fuck off with that too.

With all this, I'm not deficient, and second, the physical pain that has been worsening since I started walking as a baby had been from pain in my feet, and now up to my hips. I still walk weird, insoles aren't helping and haven't for the past 15 years.

I'm already feeling enough like shit, and the chronic pain is worsening it. If only I didn't express it I would understand, but I am literally writing on a document, printing, and handing over the paper explaining my pain, where, how long, what has been done, results and EVEN suggestions for treatment or referrals to a specialist.

After 3 months of waiting I got an appointment at a psychologist in another part of my city after the last one (who was still a student in practice) dismissed all the trauma I expressed, and even suggested I go back to the job I quit where I was physically attacked and sexually harassed by this one patient who also stalked me off-work hours. I had two GPs assigned to me at the time, and both of them were telling me to get away from that job ASAP, years prior to me quitting.

This post is very chaotic. My point is, even though their assumptions are disproven, they will continue to cycle around, doing anything but acknowledging that I have been very clear that I'm depressed and suicidal for the past decade. This including the physical pain I have which restrict me in day to day life.

My GP said last week that she will look into another type of antidepressants for me, because the one I'm currently taking was more targeting my migraines. Honestly it's been 4 months since starting it and it's literally documented that it did nothing to calm the pain. But whatever I guess. Keep pumping me with medication until my brain is fried. I have already been on so many that don't do anything. I just really need to ctb, it's the only thing that will silence the pain.

I remember when I went to my old GP for the first time regarding my depression and frequent disabling anxiety attacks. I was still in middle school. It started with «touch grass, drink and eat well, have friends», and we are still here. How exciting.

Nothing ever happens.
People fail to understand that people who kill themselves are not weak, but have been through so much bullshit which isn't acknowledged, that it becomes overwhelming. When you have been overwhelmed for years with no one is backing you up, how does that make a person weak?

 

[Topaz111]

I'm so sorry you have been struggling with the medical system for so long and keep going in circles. I am experiencing this as well and most chronically ill people do to some degree, especially if they are young.

As you said, suicidal people are not weak, "Any bone will break if you put enough pressure on it". Our minds are not indestructible, we all have a breaking point. People would rather call you weak and insult you, than admit that anyone could become suicidal if they experience enough trauma and pain. Acknowledging that is scary to them because it means that they are not immune to it either.
This is incredibly common with physical chronic illnesses/disabilities too. People think that if they eat and sleep well, excersize and touch grass they can never become disabled so when they speak to someone disabled they assume that that person must have done something wrong or "deserved it" in some way. This is why so many people (including doctors) will suggest the same basic fixes over and over again even though you have tried them and it didn't work. They would rather say you "aren't trying hard enough" than admit that anyone could become disabled at any moment, including them and there is nothing one can do to become immune to it. They also often deny that some illnesses are incurable or very hard to cure.
Personally I have found that it actually makes some doctors less likely to listen to you if you are "too well prepared" and organized especially if you are suggesting treatments/tests. Most doctors have incredibly fragile egos and hate it when a patient is well informed and advocates for themselves. It's like they see us as "misbehaving children who question the autority of their parents". They think we have to take their word as gospel and never question them because they went to medical school so they must be omniscient and always right no matter what.
It is the most infuriating, frustrating, terrifying mind game to balance advocating for yourself without coming off as "argumentative, defiant and uncooperative". Having to trick them into thinking they were the ones to come up with your ideas just so they agree to do their damn job.
We are so fucked.
I really hope things improve for you, but I 100% understand if you do CTB, it is my reason as well.

 

[Isisnefert]

Recibí los resultados del hemograma completo y todo salió perfecto. Sin embargo, sé que en mi próxima cita me dirán que tengo alguna deficiencia, quién sabe cuál. Aunque me sorprendieron mucho los resultados, en realidad no solucionan nada.

Cada vez que menciono abiertamente que estoy deprimida y tengo pensamientos suicidas, me responden con «sí, te falta vitamina D» o «camina más».

Mi neurólogo JURABA que mi mala alimentación era la causa de mi migraña crónica.

Lo entendería si esto hubiera pasado hace unos años, cuando pesaba más de 90 kilos. O si fuera literalmente un esqueleto. Puede que odie mi aspecto, pero veo claramente que objetivamente mis proporciones son equilibradas y tengo una figura esbelta. No sé si están intentando motivarme aún más para que restrinja mi alimentación y me haga daño. Como persona con SOP, las pruebas demuestran que mis hormonas están equilibradas gracias a un tratamiento eficaz, así que también pueden irse al diablo con eso.

Con todo esto, no tengo ninguna deficiencia, y segundo, el dolor físico que ha ido empeorando desde que empecé a caminar de bebé provenía de los pies y ahora se extiende hasta las caderas. Sigo caminando de forma extraña, las plantillas no me ayudan y no me han ayudado en los últimos 15 años.

Ya me siento fatal, y el dolor crónico lo empeora aún más. Si no lo expresara, lo entendería, pero literalmente estoy escribiendo en un documento, imprimiéndolo y entregándolo, explicando mi dolor, dónde, cuánto tiempo lleva, qué se ha hecho, los resultados e incluso sugerencias de tratamiento o derivaciones a un especialista.

Tras tres meses de espera, conseguí una cita con un psicólogo en otra zona de la ciudad, después de que el anterior (que aún era estudiante) desestimara todo el trauma que le conté e incluso me sugiriera que volviera al trabajo que había dejado, donde fui agredida físicamente y acosada sexualmente por un paciente que además me acosaba fuera del horario laboral. En aquel momento tenía dos médicos de cabecera asignados, y ambos me aconsejaron que dejara ese trabajo cuanto antes, años antes de que renunciara.

Esta publicación es muy caótica. Lo que quiero decir es que, aunque sus suposiciones sean falsas, seguirán dando vueltas en círculo, sin reconocer que he sido muy clara al decir que sufro de depresión y tendencias suicidas desde hace una década. Esto incluye el dolor físico que padezco y que me limita en mi vida diaria.

Mi médico de cabecera me dijo la semana pasada que buscaría otro tipo de antidepresivos para mí, porque el que estoy tomando actualmente es más para las migrañas. La verdad es que han pasado cuatro meses desde que empecé a tomarlo y está documentado que no me ha hecho nada para calmar el dolor. Pero bueno, da igual. Que me sigan dando medicamentos hasta que me destrocen el cerebro. Ya he tomado muchísimos que no me hacen nada. De verdad necesito suicidarme, es lo único que me quitará el dolor.

Recuerdo la primera vez que fui a mi médico de cabecera por mi depresión y mis frecuentes ataques de ansiedad incapacitantes. Todavía estaba en la secundaria. Todo empezó con «tocar la hierba, beber y comer bien, tener amigos», y aquí seguimos. ¡Qué emocionante!

Nunca pasa nada.
La gente no entiende que quienes se suicidan no son débiles, sino que han pasado por tantas dificultades que nadie reconoce, que la situación se vuelve insostenible. Cuando llevas años abrumado sin que nadie te apoye, ¿cómo puede eso hacer que una persona sea débil?

Same

 

[rainatthebusstop]

With all this, I'm not deficient, and second, the physical pain that has been worsening since I started walking as a baby had been from pain in my feet, and now up to my hips. I still walk weird, insoles aren't helping and haven't for the past 15 years.

I'm already feeling enough like shit, and the chronic pain is worsening it. If only I didn't express it I would understand, but I am literally writing on a document, printing, and handing over the paper explaining my pain, where, how long, what has been done, results and EVEN suggestions for treatment or referrals to a specialist.

The fun thing about doctors is that if they cannot find the source for your chronic pain after however much effort they put in (usually very little to be frank, and it lowers if you have a hormonal issue like PCOS), they aren't failing, you just made that pain up.

After 3 months of waiting I got an appointment at a psychologist in another part of my city after the last one (who was still a student in practice) dismissed all the trauma I expressed, and even suggested I go back to the job I quit where I was physically attacked and sexually harassed by this one patient who also stalked me off-work hours. I had two GPs assigned to me at the time, and both of them were telling me to get away from that job ASAP, years prior to me quitting.

The fact that this is the kind of fucker who goes out to practice psychology sickens me. I wish you luck with your next psychologist but frankly if they say shit like that again I suggest not bothering with psychologists anymore.

This post is very chaotic. My point is, even though their assumptions are disproven, they will continue to cycle around, doing anything but acknowledging that I have been very clear that I'm depressed and suicidal for the past decade. This including the physical pain I have which restrict me in day to day life.

I remember when I went to my old GP for the first time regarding my depression and frequent disabling anxiety attacks. I was still in middle school. It started with «touch grass, drink and eat well, have friends», and we are still here. How exciting.

If that helps the same thing has happened to me. I told my therapist in middle school that I struggle with suicidal ideation and she went "no. I'm not qualified to deal with this but you don't. You're just stressed"

Nothing ever happens.
People fail to understand that people who kill themselves are not weak, but have been through so much bullshit which isn't acknowledged, that it becomes overwhelming. When you have been overwhelmed for years with no one is backing you up, how does that make a person weak?

It doesn't. People just think you're weak because they don't have these problems, can't relate to your suffering and cannot fathom what living like that feels like. I wish you the best, however that may come to you. Who knows, maybe you will strike luck at the eleventh hour and find a doctor who can diagnose and treat your pain