Blackjack

Blackjack

I’ll be watching...
Aug 6, 2019
777
I just want to disappear and be forgotten altogether.
I wonder, if suicide was a button that erased the entire timeline of your existence, erased all your relationships, all of your ego and reputation, all your interactions with other people, you just never were born, would the suicide rate go up, or down?

Up!
 
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AverageJoe9

AverageJoe9

New Member
Sep 22, 2019
3
Personally I would want it known, I have a lot of difficulty communicating with people due to my social anxiety and I fear at times my death is the only way I can express all the pent up emotion over the course of my life
 
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LadyPanda

LadyPanda

Member
Sep 20, 2019
10
Rn I'm torn between finding the strength to not care and still wanting to feel in control of my narrative after my death. I'm surrounded by family who want to play the grieving victim card and I'm really only alive out of spite because my abusers don't get to be victims here. After all the abuse, why should they be comforted after my death? They are experts in manipulating to make it seem like I'm just crazy and haven't been gaslighted at every turn. Lately I've been flirting with making it look like an accident or saving enough to go to another country bc I want complete control over my life's story and not have people say things for their own satisfaction like "we had no idea, we tried to help her, we're devastated but she had issues'... that's a flat out lie. I'd rather make it look like I left on my own and ctb as anonymously as possible than give up my narrative.

I wish I didn't care and I see how silly it can seem to care what ppl think after my death when I'm gone but I won't let my death justify their abuse. When the time is right it comes down to ME & i won't let assholes use my death for attention. I deserve better.

Long story short-I'd rather everyone think I moved on than to give them any sort of validation.
 
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heartless_95

heartless_95

In the bleak midwinter ..
Sep 3, 2019
27
Would rather not... The shame of knowing how my parents/relatives would feel has prevented me so far I think. Still looking for a way to make it look like an accident (although with SN... Kind of a long shot).
 
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D

Death_is_Escape

Student
Jul 26, 2019
137
I plan to leave a note of My self-deliverance: don't like tax money being wasted.
 
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A

Azul

Member
Aug 21, 2019
31
If I could, I would like to erase the memory of my existence from all the people who have known me
 
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E

Elias

Experienced
Mar 19, 2019
216
When I was in a better state of mind (I was always suicidal since a young age) I wanted to go unnoticed. Kinda like closing a shop for the last time or releasing the last episode of a show, you depart with elegance and grace, cleaning behind yourself.

Nowadays I want it to be known that I was driven to suicide by a special person, a demon on earth that used my best qualities (or so I thought, after careful self examination) against myself for her profit and pleasure to see me in this broken state. I will not go unnoticed. Firstly because I'm kinda on suicide watch and with a court ordered "mental health obligations", and secondly I have too many friends that need closure.

I would have loved to go unnoticed, but it's not the case anymore, I'm filled with rage enough to feel the need to go with a big f u and it will heard. Even though people will move on, I need it at the moment of my death.
 
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ihatepain

ihatepain

I never wanted to be born.
Mar 24, 2019
142
if you had the option to choose? with worlds i mean people around you. personally id love to go unnoticed, the less people know i commited suicide the better. but i also read from some different opinion here. or at least it seems that way.
I would want the world to know because I want to be a role model for others to follow. My dream is to have a painless exit and for people to envy it, realise how existing is foolish and to realise that death solves all problems. I want people to follow my footsteps.
 
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L

LonelyCarioca

Member
Sep 11, 2019
33
If I could, I would like to erase the memory of my existence from all the people who have known me
You and me both, that way I wouldn't cause others unnecessary pain or guilt. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
 
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A

Azul

Member
Aug 21, 2019
31
You and me both, that way I wouldn't cause others unnecessary pain or guilt. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Yes, That's the only reason I'm still here. I don't want anyone to suffer because of me... But now I'm living in a sort of limbo
 
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Astral316

Astral316

Specialist
Aug 26, 2019
332
I'd want my family/relatives to find out... not for a desired reaction, but so they'd know I was the one who left on his own terms.
 
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Y

Yolonoodle

Bear
Sep 20, 2019
30
Honestly I'd prefer to go completely unnoticed, nice and quiet
The world will still go on anyway
 
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C

c824767

Specialist
Sep 2, 2019
358
I want people to know that I hate the corruption and unctuous hypocritical political correctness and the way those two woirk together to muzzle reasonable people.I want everyone to know that this is why I am doing what I am doing, including suicide. My life is one big protest.
 
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FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
May 31, 2018
1,782
There are billions of us. I can't even imagine anymore anyone else being aware of or caring about my life or death. I have no dependents and no friends. I'll die like a sewer rat in a shadowy gutter. Fine by me--no guilt to wade through on my way out.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,815
For me, I'd at least want the people that mean something to me to know of my death, but not at the risk of compromising my opportunity or my method, resulting in failure. As for the rest of the world at large, most likely not unless I was to deliver some big message with my death, which is very unlikely.

Currently, I only have a few close people IRL outside of family (more like close acquaintances) and then my parents, and a sister, and then that's pretty much all there is.
 
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L

Lefty

Mage
Dec 7, 2018
530
I'd prefer to go unnoticed, but I'm sure some people would notice anyways.
 
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T

toomuchgrief

a grieving mother
Sep 15, 2019
401
ofcourse unnoticed. I don't even want my body to be pick up, I want it to rot under the rocks where I plunge down.
 
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OreoWellington

OreoWellington

Ready To Die
Sep 28, 2019
123
I would want people to know so they can all look back in hindsight and know how truly miserable I had been and how meant to be (like destiny) this had been because I have suffered and struggled with this feeling almost all my life. Especially the people I hate and am most bitter about that I would want them to know. They don't dare deserve to mourn me and pretend they ever had a relationship/association with me. They better walk over my dead body and move the fuck on just like how they did to me in life. For me, it's the ultimate statement and form of saying "fuck you" to the world (that it is not meant for me and I cannot bear to live in such a place like this) and I would want people to know my exact message I am trying to send.
 
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JohnUK

JohnUK

Student
Feb 15, 2019
147
No I don't. I'd rather have a quiet suicide than a massive know all suicide.
 
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Lotus1818

Lotus1818

Experienced
Nov 4, 2019
248
Looking at Etika's death I rather want a quiet one. Not that it matters. I'm not a popular guy to begin with...
 
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