Do you think you will regret your decision in your final seconds

[slowdance]

I don't think so. If I do, it wouldn't be the first time I've done something I regret. Nothing is perfect. I think that I've come to a place of acceptance for CTB. I accept that it will be painful. I accept that I may regret it. I accept that my sister will be sad. It's still something I need to do.

 

[WhenIBreathe]

I won't regret it because I've made the decision and there's no reason to stay. I've regretted the things that happened that led me to the decision.

 

[sadBPDgirl0708]

I attempted about 6ish months ago with partial hanging. I was really anxious and excited like when I was setting up and stuff, it was also very impulsive which added to that feeling. Once I could feel myself starting to lose consciousness I found my chest felt so heavy and my body felt super tingly. As the world around me started to fade to black I remember thinking very clearly, "this is it. I'm about to die and I'm okay with it". I think it's the first time I've felt genuinely peaceful.

Unfortunately it was an impulsive attempt and I was making the attempt in the hospital ward bathroom, I was already a self harm risk as that is what brought me to hospital and I was being watched. When the nurses noticed I'd been gone for a while they tried to enter and burst in when I didn't answer. It went from extreme peace to chaos because they pressed the alarm bell and suddenly it felt like every medical person on the ward was crammed into this tiny bathroom as they were trying to save me.
Ultimately the only thing I regret from that experience is that I didn't find somewhere further from the ward I was on to attempt.

 

[areyousafe??]

Maybe. But then again, I regret not killing myself when I was 17, and here I am, still depressed as an adult - so maybe not.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Si is a sneaky bastard that my cause you to unwillingly chicken out no matter how bad you want to do it.

 

[NoHalfMeasures]

This is a huge concern for me, because the last seconds of my life might make me contemplate something I've never thought of before, or give me a fresh perspective on life in the last moments of it a I'll ever have. I fear that somehow I'll "cure" my desire to CTB and deeply regret it. Though I suppose the good thing is, if that happened in my last seconds, I wouldn't have to sit with those feelings for long before I and those thoughts are gone forever.

This is why I'm contemplating all my options first so there is less risk of such events occuring. I don't want my last thoughts to be of regret. That is somehow very sad to me, even if it's just from SI.

 

[bananaolympus]

In my first attempt no i did not regret actually it was the opposite it was pure relief, now if i ctb i will do it when i am in complete suffering

 

[yearofluigi]

Probably... Like others have said, if I do feel regret, it'll be from SI hijacking my brain and trying to keep me alive, rather than a genuine place of wanting to live. I'm planning to turn my phone off and put it in another room during my suicide for that reason, so I can't call for help or call emergency services on myself.

I'll regret it a lot, but that won't change my mind about doing it. I've thought carefully about it for many months and I'm certain I want to do it. There's nothing to hope for in my future.

I'm actually surprised so many people say they wouldn't feel regret about suicide, because suicide is something someone would regret practically by definition:


Regret doesn't have to be an intense emotional upheaval that pushes someone to abandon suicide. Regret can be more of a feeling of sadness and loss that would be normal for any person contemplating suicide to feel.

I agree that anyone contemplating suicide would feel a lot of regret, but I think that the regret would be more about their life in general than the act itself.

 

[JesiBel]

I don't think so, in my case life has always offered me worse and worse things. When I finally ctb I will surely be in a state of complete despair and anguish. For now I'm "bearing" things as best I can.

 

[kinoki]

If I am doing it on my own then yes, if it's with someone then no.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I don't think so, because if I made that decision, something would have to push me to that point. I won't consider it until the net negatives clearly outweigh the net positives, but right now, they seem to balance out.

Then again, since I'd be dead, I guess I won't really know until I'm there.

 

[Forveleth]

Did not regret a thing both times. My only regret was waking up.

 

[SmilingNoMore]

There might be that thought of "I'd never know", but I'll only go through with it when I know there is no alternative. I guess then it means that at point in time, I wasn't meant to know what could've been.

 

[Raven2]

This worries quite a bit that I'd regret and call for help. If I was to do that my life would be even worse dealing with the aftermath of the attempt so I would hope my thinking would be that I've started this process, let's see it though to completion.

 

[Peace2peace]

My condition is already worst enough i don't think I would regret cause its not impulsive its what my body wants have been fighting for long

 

[L'absent]

Regret for staying here? But I don't think so, I'm not a masochist.

 

[Blueberry Panic]

It wouldn't matter

 

[Saponification]

I highly doubt it.

 

[blacksand]

No regret from taking a fentanyl overdose or recklessly pulling back the trigger of a gun in my mouth. But strong SI from a level below intellectual thought.

 

[slinkey10]

yes - becasue I naively still have hope :(

 

[TastySorrow]

I don't think I will regret it on my own, but I'm scared shitless that I'll get the miracle text or call I've been waiting for just after I drink the SN. This thought haunts me 24/7.

 

[WanderingTiger]

I would never be afraid; I am planning this carefully and I know I would do it once everything is sorted. I am not afraid of death and I simply wish to have peace.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

The word regret assumes that I have passed the point of no return. I am going to hang myself and my final seconds when I can regret anything will be when I already hang. I hope I am happy in this situation and regret nothing, if not, so what.

 

[futurecorpse]

The only times I've regretted my attempts were after the fact they didn't work and I ended up in the psych ward. I regret crashing my car because not only was it totaled, but it created a domino effect of bad things happening – losing my job, giant hospital bill, etc.

I've been suicidal most of my life and every day I wish I was dead. I wake up with sadness, dread, and fear every morning. So no, I won't regret ctb in my final moments because I've wanted peace for a very long time.

 

[brokeandbroken]

Its a question I have no answer to

Honestly no. I think i will regret having not done it sooner. My life is slowly evaporating around me. I have no friends, no family, no job or job prospects. I have absolutely 0 people who care about me. If died in my sleep the reason I'd be found is the smell of my rotting corpse. My life has been absolutely and unequivocally destroyed. My health is slowly fading. And all of these things aren't my fault. I was the victim of crime(s) like i was the person criminals did shit to and seemingly everyone just decided to say fuck that guy and piled on. My life is unbelievably miserable that it could probably be considered torture. Happiness isn't something I know and barely remember.
I'm basically forced to sit and wait in misery hoping and praying I may catch a break. This isn't a life. I'm barely alive. I'm suffering and no one cares. Yeah I think it would my god why didn't I do this sooner.

 

[heyismeman]

Yea because of my family I think I'll be extremely sad but I don't think I'll regret it just be sad and SI

 

[rozeske]

I bet I'm going to have all sorts of emotions but regret? No, not one bit. It's not a decision I came to lightly and have contemplated it for far too long and done everything in my power not to reach this point but now there's gonna be no regrets or turning back.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I think I might be scared but I don't think I'll regret it.

 

[zardofan]

I won't have time to regret it, with Nitrogen you just pass out in less than a minute

This is my plan too, but less than a minute is still long enough for a LOT of racing thoughts/feelings. I've been wondering this too. I have not done a run through yet. Maybe that will give me an idea.

 

[needthebus]

yes due to si