Venting Do you think it’s selfish to want to die without the commitment?

[OneAndOnly!!]

I've already come to terms with craving extreme amounts of attention and pity, but I wonder if it's selfish in a way to want to die purely because I want others to feel bad for me. I find myself often fantasizing about dying, and all those that have wronged me feeling gut-wrenching guilt. It comes with a weird lack of empathy as well, I am a very emotional person usually, but when I think like this, all I want is for that person to feel pain. Its troublesome and affects my everyday life, and startlingly I can't find myself to empathize with those who have lost others due to suicide. Sadly, all I can think in those moments is, "I really wish that was me." I feel too ashamed to admit this to anyone. :( I think I'm a bad person, but I would never tell others in my daily life that. Sorry for the rant! I guess theres a lot of my mind currently! Would love to hear other's experiences and if they feel the same! <33

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

I don't think you are a bad person; you're just in pain like so many of us here. I also find myself wishing it was me when I hear about people who have committed or died in other ways. I think you want people to realize how badly you were hurting, and I can relate to that

 

[OneAndOnly!!]

I don't think you are a bad person; you're just in pain like so many of us here. I also find myself wishing it was me when I hear about people who have committed or died in other ways. I think you want people to realize how badly you were hurting, and I can relate to that

Thank you, this actually really helps!! I'm a little glad in a way i'm not alone in feeling this way!

 

[RiverOfLife]

I feel envious of people who have died sudden deaths or had a successful peaceful suicide.
So we can be selfish together.