Discussion Do you tell people how you feel?

[l0sing]

I know there's tons of people out there who take depression lightly and suicide lightly but I like to think the majority of people on here however know how we all truly feel.

But how many of you have told people in your life how you feel and what you want to do?

A few months ago the police were called for me and my family were told how I felt that day and what I wanted to do, but since then I feel like they've pushed it away and thought because I didn't go through with it I've stopped feeling that way. Today I had a row with my mother and asked her if she thought i was telling her 100% how I was feeling as she said no, but I can't keep repeating to her about wanting to ctb. I feel like even if I confide in someone how I'm feeling, if I don't do it immediately they won't believe that's how my head is.

How many of you confide to someone you're close with but feel like it's a waste of time?

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Just curious, how would you want your mom to respond?

 

[muffin222]

I have in the past, but I don't anymore because I don't want anyone to become suspicious and try to stop me, nor do I want my family to start monitoring me.

But, if you feel you need to tell someone close to you how you feel, by all means go for it if you think they'll have a supportive response :)

 

[l0sing]

Just curious, how would you want your mom to respond?

At the time of the row I just wanted acknowledgement that she knew I still feel this way

 

[almost ded]

I tell if I'am drunk. anxiety comes away fore some time then. when you sober up is fucking hell. then we go again. that's cold addicion with fuckd up mind I guess.

 

[whereispeace]

Sometimes I do. But right now I'm actively suicidal, and not telling anyone (other than the people here).

 

[l0sing]

I have in the past, but I don't anymore because I don't want anyone to become suspicious and try to stop me, nor do I want my family to start monitoring me.

But, if you feel you need to tell someone close to you how you feel, by all means go for it if you think they'll have a supportive response :)

i think that's it, I was expecting them to show me support but it seems unfortunately they're just the type to send a quick text and never follow up on it. It's been brushed under the rug so to speak

I tell if I'am drunk. anxiety comes away fore some time then. when you sober up is fucking hell. then we go again. that's cold addicion with fuckd up mind I guess.

does the drink help you be honest? I can see how that would lower your anxiety at the time, do you find the people you've told follow up with you or just leave you?

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Used to, but I realize that telling people you are even considering such a thing is a damn good way to be constantly monitored and/or get forced to be "treated" against your will so I keep that particular thought under wraps now.

 

[l0sing]

Sometimes I do. But right now I'm actively suicidal, and not telling anyone (other than the people here).

do you not tell them to stop them coming round and stopping you? I'm scared if I open up more about it they'll start watching my house or something

 

[almost ded]

Sometimes I do. But right now I'm actively suicidal, and not telling anyone (other than the people here).

feel you. but it is simple. people here don't judge . And most of outsiders do, or just cant understand you, like we do. I think it is completely rational. believe me or not, some psychologist understand that, problem is they job is to keep you alive. We don't have that obligation.

 

[l0sing]

Used to, but I realize that telling people you are even considering such a thing is a damn good way to be constantly monitored and/or get forced to be "treated" against your will so I keep that particular thought under wraps now.

i suppose in a way it's a good thing that they show you they care. But I can understand that, every time I get a phone call from a family member I feel like they're just checking I'm still breathing and not actually wanting conversation

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Tried it years ago to some people close to me they told me it made them depressed to listen to my suicidal talk all the time but to be fair I talked about it a lot but since then I have put on my 'mask of illussion' and just show people the person they want to see.

 

[almost ded]

Used to, but I realize that telling people you are even considering such a thing is a damn good way to be constantly monitored and/or get forced to be "treated" against your will so I keep that particular thought under wraps now.

I wuld like help and or monitoring, or just get medicine. fucking quarantine was last thing before I decided, after more than 10 years I don't even want to day, I can do it my self.

 

[whereispeace]

do you not tell them to stop them coming round and stopping you? I'm scared if I open up more about it they'll start watching my house or something

Pretty much. I want to have the option to CTB at any time. Sharing my feelings with people might jeopardize that.

 

[l0sing]

Tried it years ago to some people close to me they told me it made them depressed to listen to my suicidal talk all the time but to be fair I talked about it a lot but since then I have put on my 'mask of illussion' and just show people the person they want to see.

how do you find that? I struggle to hide myself from people, I'm not an open person but I can easily get into a conversation with someone and open up that way.

I wuld like help and or monitoring, or just get medicine. fucking quarantine was last thing before I decided, after more than 10 years I don't even want to day, I can do it my self.

give your gp a ring. I had to ring mine last week about my medication and he stayed on the phone for a good 15 minutes listening to me and gave me a new prescription

 

[Mr2005]

Not a lot. What's the use? Nothing anyone can do about it. I keep reading things that I could have written and it makes me realise two things. One that I could say it a thousand times and it would hardly be noticed and two that there's a thousand people talking for me so I don't have to

 

[TheGoodGuy]

how do you find that? I struggle to hide myself from people, I'm not an open person but I can easily get into a conversation with someone and open up that way.

I am not sure what you mean? I can talk pretty casually like a normal person on 1 on 1 in real life but I never mention suicide if that is what you mean by "open up that way"

 

[l0sing]

Not a lot. What's the use? Nothing anyone can do about it. I keep reading things that I could have written and it makes me realise two things. One that I could say it a thousand times and it would hardly be noticed and two that there's a thousand people talking for me so I don't have to

i think for a lot of people opening up and having someone to talk to can help a lot at time, it's just different for each person obviously. On this sort of platform though we're all here because we have one major thing going on in our heads but it's all different reasons. Sometimes just talking about those reasons is a little comfort until the bus arrives

I am not sure what you mean? I can talk pretty casually like a normal person on 1 on 1 in real life but I never mention suicide if that is what you mean by "open up that way"

sorry, I meant how do you find it being able to avoid that subject? You said people commented you were depressing them talking about it so much, how have you been able to stop yourself bringing it up?

 

[angel_like_demon]

 

[Mr2005]

I need new ways to say "I know how you feel"

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I tell only my ex how I truly feel but lately I am trying to restrain myself because what's the point anyway.
She can't help me.

 

[Marktheghost]

I do. They don't do anything to help me though.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Tried it years ago to some people close to me they told me it made them depressed to listen to my suicidal talk all the time but to be fair I talked about it a lot but since then I have put on my 'mask of illussion' and just show people the person they want to see.

Seriously? What a morons!

 

[heavyglow]

Well I am open about my mental health at work for example in that way that people who need to know know that I have issues, I am on medication and working on it. The hard feelings, the deep depression, that bad thing and my wish to finish it, I cannot tell. In the moment I would everything would be taken from me what keeps me going, just because of too much honesty

 

[Mizrable80]

I've told my ex about what I go through and what my intentions are. The reason I tell her is because she's the only one that can truly make me feel better but she's also the reason I'm like this. I feel like since she's the reason it would feel great to have her acknowledge what she has done, how I feel and if she can comfort me for a bit but she's been really cold about it.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Seriously? What a morons!

Please don´t call them that I love them but I know you mean well, and as I said I constantly talked about it so I can see if a happy person constantly hears about suicide it will make them feel depressed but it made me realize to never trust another person which the word suicide and depression so even to my psychiatrist I avoid these words also since you will be punished for being branded with any of them e.g you can´t be around guns like for shooting range or hunting and if you say you are actively trying to kill yourself you will be "involuntary comitted" which is just an euphemism for legal kidnapping by the government.

Anyways I got off track I always do, damn thought train. My point is don´t ever use the word 'suicide' or 'depression' in the real world because it has consequences.

 

[l0sing]

I need new ways to say "I know how you feel"

but having your own quirks and ways of saying things are what make you you. I sometimes I worry I babble on too much instead of saying something small and simple but that's just me and how I get things across

I tell only my ex how I truly feel but lately I am trying to restrain myself because what's the point anyway.
She can't help me.

Its good you have someone though that you're comfortable to talk to

I do. They don't do anything to help me though.

would you accept the help if they offered it?

Well I am open about my mental health at work for example in that way that people who need to know know that I have issues, I am on medication and working on it. The hard feelings, the deep depression, that bad thing and my wish to finish it, I cannot tell. In the moment I would everything would be taken from me what keeps me going, just because of too much honesty

im the exact same at work. Luckily my manager is great and really understanding to people with mental health because with 100+ staff there's a few of us and you'll occasionally find us locked in the toilet having a panick attack and the managers are really good at looking after us. It's more that they obviously can't take it home with them, so they can help us in the moment but as soon as you clock out you're not their problem anymore. Which I can understand though.

I've told my ex about what I go through and what my intentions are. The reason I tell her is because she's the only one that can truly make me feel better but she's also the reason I'm like this. I feel like since she's the reason it would feel great to have her acknowledge what she has done, how I feel and if she can comfort me for a bit but she's been really cold about it.

im with you on that one! My ex is the only person who I can be honest with about wanting to ctb but at the same time he's one of the reasons for it. He already knows he is though and accepts his fault and part to play

 

[Гууу]

I know there's tons of people out there who take depression lightly and suicide lightly but I like to think the majority of people on here however know how we all truly feel.

But how many of you have told people in your life how you feel and what you want to do?

A few months ago the police were called for me and my family were told how I felt that day and what I wanted to do, but since then I feel like they've pushed it away and thought because I didn't go through with it I've stopped feeling that way. Today I had a row with my mother and asked her if she thought i was telling her 100% how I was feeling as she said no, but I can't keep repeating to her about wanting to ctb. I feel like even if I confide in someone how I'm feeling, if I don't do it immediately they won't believe that's how my head is.

How many of you confide to someone you're close with but feel like it's a waste of time?

If you have some community friends using conferences, and there are no connection with your family irl, you can try use their attention. Try to figure out how you can say about it without being disrespected. Still use this board or try to have some friend in arms here. Honestly, i'm not telling my mom anything about CTB and don't speak with my friends at all.

 

[yetme]

I know there's tons of people out there who take depression lightly and suicide lightly but I like to think the majority of people on here however know how we all truly feel.

But how many of you have told people in your life how you feel and what you want to do?

yes and they hang up on me or close their doors. this just happened literally 5 minutes ago

 

[BridgeJumper]

All the time, Im transparent af. Usually most of my issues I tell my best friend, but almost everyone knows I want to die. I be like, kneeling down to tie my laces and saying 'Its a perfect day to off myself'
They either dont care or call 911 on me, idk whats worse