Discussion Do you tell people how you feel?

[Mizrable80]

im with you on that one! My ex is the only person who I can be honest with about wanting to ctb but at the same time he's one of the reasons for it. He already knows he is though and accepts his fault and part to play

How do you feel about him acknowledging his fault in it? How does he respond/react to you wanting to ctb?

 

[Conker]

Last time I did that they tried to make things a lot worse for me. I don't trust these apathetic robots whom have been emotionally quarantined for decades. The walls stay up not because I want them to be, but for my own good as these demonic robots have proven their untrustworthiness in that regard.

People oftentimes tend to falsely self identify with fear, as if it's a human emotion that originates from their core essence.

""People fear what they don't understand and hate what they can't conquer." So then I ask you, what does that make this species who doesn't even fully understand what fear is? A bunch of demonic mentally retarded robots who pretend "their" society is the maximum potential of human existence. They only are barely starting to realize how profoundly sick & abnormal they've been this whole entire time.

Their predictable arrogance is just another thinly veiled attempt at holding together their human mask.

 

[disabledandhopeless]

I always tell people how I feel, then regret afterwards

 

[RottenDeer]

Rarely. I only tell the people that know anyway.

 

[littlemisssunshine]

No I don't tell anyone.
Nothing good has ever come of sharing my true thoughts.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I can't restrain myself I am still messaging my ex about how horrible I feel, my problems and suicidal intent
I need to stop it

 

[BabyYoda]

I'd be careful with it.

I only tell one person though, this "special person". He never threatened to leave me or call me horrible things. I love him for it.

 

[yami9292]

Not anymore :)

 

[Black kettle]

I suppose I'm lucky. I can tell my father (76 years old) and he listens and hopes that I don't follow thru. He's very pragmatic. He realizes that he can't stop me while at the same time, he has "somewhat" acknowledged my challenges
Not of course, the ones I hold him responsible for, but at least he listens. My partner on the other hand- won't hear anything I say, completely tunes me out- god forbid we ever get divorced and they use my mental illness against me- then I guess I'm fucked

 

[Epsilon0]

No. I tried, but I got me nowhere. All I got was this:
"I am calling the psych ward."
or
"You need more medication."
or
"You don't want to get well."

The last line kills me each time I think of it.

The only people who know how I really feel are users here on SS.

 

[thx1138]

I used to tell them, then they started treating me horribly as a result, so I learned my lesson and never tell anybody anything.

 

[Wheelz1985]

My Mother, brother, sisters, friends..hell, even my neighbors know I am suicidal.
I'm hoping for a "welp, he finally did it". response. Also so no one would be shocked.

 

[HoolioCoolio]

My friends were worse than me but they all got better and so I'm the last person that's still super depressed compared to anyone. I never have told anyone, I fear the worst.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

I told everyone from the Sun to the Moon to Pluto and backwards and absolutely nobody gives a f. Usually I get some encouragements from friends / acquaintances who know I'm in a bad shape, to more absolutely shocked responses "please, I don't want to hear about this, God will punish you" from the 'older' population, to some advice about my chakras and meditation from my hipster friends, to the "I will have to report this to your parents" from my therapists, which results in absolutely nothing.

Sometimes I wish I were put in a nice ward, medicated appropriately, being shown by some therapist where I can find happiness and how to increase my self-worth... But nobody actually cares. These will be the same people who will be "absolutely shocked and surprised" on my social media to learn I did it... And will "cherish" my memory. Only that my plan is to name them on social media before I ctb so that their hypocritical asses can take a seat.

 

[Marktheghost]

would you accept the help if they offered it?

Yes, assuming it's the right kind of help.

 

[Hoopali]

I think it's a fine line. I told my friend the first time I tried and I'll not forget the fear in his eyes, I felt so bad for him.

We still talk etc but he doesn't - and I wouldn't expect him to - say "Alright mate, still planning on killing yourself?"

The way I see it the reasons for this are:

1. If I wasn't thinking about it then drawing attention to it might lead me back on that path (even though I am still on it, he doesn't know that)

2. It belittles the subject matter if people mention it every time you see them

3. Similar to the above, he doesn't want that to define who I am - that "guy who attempted/wants to commit suicide".

So he treats me normally, as before. I can understand the vast majority of people do not want to commit suicide and therefore do not understand where I am coming from. That's fair enough, more health to them I say.

Ultimately I think it depends on how you see that other person and what you want from them. They don't know what you want at all times. And as suicide is such an alien concept to most people then they are scared of it. If I knew someone who, for example, told me that God was talking to them then I wouldn't ring them up in the middle of the day and say "Hi buddy, just checking - did God leave any messages for me?" as it's just something I cannot understand.

 

[SleeplessSoul]

When I was suicidal and wanted to get help for it last year I told one of my supervisors where I volunteer and she went with me to hospital. She'd already been to hospital with me once when I had taken an overdose. Now I'm actively suicidal I don't want to tell anyone and even I wanted to I have no clue how I would do it

 

[scorchedearth]

I don't know how to talk about my feelings at all. I start crying uncontrollably and leave the room. Feels so pathetic

 

[Broken Chimera]

I don't bring it up anymore because it's not like anyone can help me or cares anyway.

 

[Notwinnernotawin]

I used to, but I stopped when I realised it changed nothing, and people either don't give a care or think I'm crazy.

 

[Erase.myself]

Yes. NEVER AGAIN. Stupidly told my therapist my suicide plan and I am typing on this from my phone in a fucking psych hospital. I feel dumb dumb dumb for being so emotional and crying and blabbing everything out to her. Now it's gonna take longer for me to finishing planning my CTB which is SN..this is only prolonging my suffering being here and there is nothing they can do to help me. I just have to try my HARDEST to be fake (,I have trouble with that) so I can leave and continue getting my SN and meto and be done with this life.

I should have just kept with chatting on this site. Even my close friends I can talk to and they are supportive and may suggest hospital but can't actually throw me in one. Fuck my life right now.

 

[l0sing]

How do you feel about him acknowledging his fault in it? How does he respond/react to you wanting to ctb?

i don't feel he's fully accepting it, it feels like he's just saying it for the sake of it

 

[PartingGlass]

I tell anyone who'll listen. I've told total strangers. People who've noticed how sad I look out in public. I've got a gloomy look about me I guess. I've been approached a few times by people asking "scuse me sir but are you okay?". I tell them I'm not. And that if things don't improve I'll be gone. They offer kind words or a pat on the back or something but it doesn't change anything. I've been practically begging someone to help me for years, for someone to give me a reason to live. My family and friends don't care anymore. And strangers, what the hell can they do? Only reason I didn't just off myself years ago is because I'm a coward. But I'm 100% open about the fact that I hate my life.

 

[Skylight]

I refrain from being too honest with anyone. I don't want anyone to feel like they could have done anything. Though I am fairly honest with my mental health providers, just not enough for them to lock me up, lol.

 

[almost ded]

I tell only my ex how I truly feel but lately I am trying to restrain myself because what's the point anyway.
She can't help me.

you are an angel, why you feel so bad?

 

[Finished]

Not anymore I fake everything around people to fool them . They think I'm better. Took me a long time to figure out I am not that important

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

Thank you
I wrote here countless times, a had a botched plastic surgery

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

I've told people in the past and have regretted it almost every time. It doesn't seem like people really take me seriously or think I'm overreacting or exaggerating. I've always felt disappointed and sometimes embarrassed after opening up to people. Some became annoyed and some simply didn't seem to care. Almost no one ever checked up on me. I think, maybe, the fact that I hide negative emotions very well around people doesn't really help my case. They'll see me laughing and joking around with people after opening up to them and it makes them think I'm okay and was just looking for attention or something. I'm very well liked by everyone and this has still been the response, so I can't imagine the reactions to people who aren't as much.

I've been suicidal for about two years. I've had waves of suicidal ideation for a decade, but it wasn't until these past two years that I've been more set on it. I developed akathisia seven months ago, which has been a torturous nightmare. So now, a lot of what I'm feeling is a legitimate neurological problem and people simply don't understand how horrific it is. I've stopped trying. I actually got in a bit of an argument with a friend recently because he was pretty much criticizing me for my aka symptoms. You know, he's gone through a lot and he still remains positive so it's bullshit that I can't and it's my fault type of thing. I'm done.