Do you know anyone who’s died of suicide?

[Gl1tch3d G1rl]

No one irl, but have lost several close friends on sasu. The thoughest one by far though was my bff @Ash. I belive her ctb was uneccecary also, although it wasn't her fault. She was pushed towards ctb by a shitty mh system that abandoned her when she needed them the most. I'm glad she is in peace though I wish the ctb would have been on her own premiss rather than being pressured into it by a failing mh system. It's tragic really.

 

[Griever]

I miss my best friend every day

 

[yxmux]

nope. not a single person. not even anyone with active suicidal ideation (that i'm aware of). i might be a bit of an outlier here

 

[karakoltriste]

Have you lost anyone to suicide? Has it changed how you view your own possible exit?

I've lost 2 close friends to suicide. I'm autistic so I haven't been close to many people in my life. I tend to attract and be attracted to neurodivergent people with mental health issues, so it's of no surprise to me that of the 5 people I've been closest to in life, 2 are dead from suicide.

My first friend and I talked a lot about suicide. We both believed we would experience a self-chosen death, even if it was not in the immediate future. He worked so hard on his mental health issues. Therapy, in-patient treatment, medications, Buddhist practices…… the list goes on. I support his decision to end his life because his suffering was overwhelming. I miss him tremendously, but it would be selfish of me to want him to suffer for me. I believe he made the right decision for himself.

My other close friend and I never really discussed suicide. Her death caught me by surprise. She was suffering from postpartum depression. I don't believe it was the right decision for her because she was in a temporary bad place. I believe it she stuck around, things would have gotten better. It hurts me that her son will grow up without his mother. I believe she convinced herself that she was bad for him and he would be better off with her dead, but nothing could be further from the truth.

I've always been upset that the first friend I mentioned didn't call me or leave me a note. We had discussed suicide many times and he knew I would support his decision and not do any welfare check BS. I'm glad he is at peace, but I'm sad I didn't get to say goodbye. Because of this, I will call my best friend to tell her goodbye. She already knows this and wants me to. I would also leave letters to other loved ones.

I also have many acquaintances who've died by suicide. One, I had a meeting (recorded) with him 2 weeks before he shot himself in the head. Out of curiosity to the mentality of a person 2 weeks before their suicide, I started to listen recording of the interview. I hadn't noticed anything off in the meeting, but hindsight is 20/20. We said hello and he asked how I was. I said I was fine but sad summer was over (it was early Sept). He told me he's optimistic and he believes we will still have more summer days. I found his optimism a bit strange and didn't listen to the rest of the recorded meeting.

Yes, 2 friends. One of them bought a lot of diazepam from me days before

 

[The Actual Devil]

This took me a few days to write because I had trouble finishing it. A couple of casual acquaintances:

1. A friend of a friend who became a local urban legend. He supposedly combined a lethal dose of sleeping pills with alcohol, set himself up in a noose on a chair in their garden, slit his wrists (lengthwise, to preserve the tendons), doused himself in gasoline, kicked the chair out, and shot himself in the head which also ignited the fire. Obvious bullshit, but that's the nature of small towns. I visited his grave with my friend a few years ago. I guess he spoke with the deceased's sister many years later, in a group. Someone asked the sister about it, and all she said was "two of those are true."
2. My dad's friend, a war vet. Shot himself in the head with a .45 while wearing his dog tags, which ended up in my possession. Still have them. I used to wear the chain without the tags to school for a while. Edgy teen shit, yeah?

Do people who kill themselves slowly through substance abuse count? Smokers and such? If so, then it's hard to say. I'd say not, though, for the theme of this thread.

And then there are two that really hurt...still do...

My first girlfriend, in high school, over the summer.. Overdosed on one of her prescriptions. Became another local urban legend. People said her dad killed her and covered it up. I highly doubt that. He was cold, but...she was sad. We both were. I'm sorry I didn't have the maturity to help her.

Then, many years later, but only a few years ago, I lost another. This one stung so fucking bad. We had both been through some terrible shit recently and we were trying to help each other heal. She seemed so happy. I think she actually was. But she started to be overwhelmed by the memories of her abuse very suddenly. Seemingly without a trigger. She traveled to spend some time with her friend group for a ladies-only vacation. One night, she took a bunch of their pills after locking herself in the bathroom. I was still on my way to see her in the hospital when she managed to get her hands on something sharp and finish the job. I wasn't even mad at all the negligence that happened for her to be able to do that. I hated myself for not seeing it coming. For not helping her more, for letting her go. I'm better now, but I still feel terrible when I remember it. I'm sorry, Rose. I miss you and love you still.

 

[50decadesleft]

Yeah, a classmate from middle school. Caught the bus a few years later. She was always alone and got bullied a lot, I hurt everyday for not reaching out to her and at least trying to help......

 

[LetMeOut67]

Yes about half a dozen I think.

 

[darksouls]

I had to go to a psychiatric hospital again and again
unfortunately it often happens that patients commit suicide
most of the time we were not told anything about the cicumstances
I often think of a young man
he was in his early twenties
he grew up in a loving family
but he heard voices and could not cope
his mother found him in the attic
he had hanged himself
may they all rest in peace