This is something I've been thinking about lately, there is a certain someone I would fantasize of killing, I've grown to hate them because I loved that person in a way that was then unknown to me, I probably felt like I lost a part of my identity (based on being very detached from people in every way) since I never even remotely cared for someone in that way and that much. I suppose I wanted to set myself free from tyranny of their existence. Fucking retarded.
Ofc, I won't do any of it and it would make no sense since it is only my fault for being delusional and less emotionally mature than a toddler, besides, the only person I truly wish death is myself.