Do you hate life or yourself more?

[StillWaiting]

Life I guess ..
Trying to get myself together but everytime I do something bad happens and make me give up on everything

 

[wanttodie]

I hate my body . I want to get rid of it

me to I hate my body . I want to get rid of it

 

[emptyparadise]

Life. People do enough hating of myself for me lol

 

[Fartlastone]

My life or life in general?
I definitely hate life way more than I hate myself, after all life made me hate myself, and all survival to the fittest BS, playing this game with unfair rules and competing with players who has high levels and privileged from the start!
I hope I make sense lol, sorry for my English.

 

[purplemoon]

I don't hate myself at all,
I'm not perfect or anything, but I know I'm a good person, it's life that I get so frustrated and upset with, most specifically when people are so mean or cold when I'm nothing but nice.
When our government, or the friends we trusted, or heartless people we never hurt in any way don't care if they injure, traumatize, or let people starve on the streets.
I feel like a loving and tender person that feels suicidal when I just can't cope anymore. when my heart breaks and shatters into million pieces in the tears can't stop streaming down my cheeks. When I start trembling so much spiritual pain that I feel trapped here, and I just want to be free, I just want to be with God in heaven. I am loved, I am safe, or I will never hurt again. That's what I wish so many people out there would understand; it's not necessarily about finding the right shrink, or thinking positive, I've already done all that. I already know I'll be so much happier in heaven again where everything is sweet.

I will say that with the exception of one person on here that ironically behaving the very way that they said I was,l trying to make me feel worse, just for using emoji's, 99% of everyone else on here has actually amazingly helped me be a little stronger. I still want to leave the planet, but somehow I don't feel alone anymore.
Somehow my sadness has changed just a little bit. Somehow I don't feel quite as desperate or in as much of a rush, at least not at the moment. That's a reflection of some of the good people on here. Thank you.

Somehow the people on here have ironically inspired me to try to be a little bit stronger, I would still rather escape this physical realm, but I no longer feel like I'm just alone survivor of so many traumatizing people and events. I feel like we're all scattered everywhere so many other cells are struggling and we can actually help each other not with death, but with life.

Obviously I haven't interacted with everyone on here, but many I have interacted with I can relate to on a few levels and I see that they're just in a lot of pain. There's too much pain in this world and I wish that every human being on this planet could learn empathy...& To believe someone when they say that they're suffering. To offer kindness and support instead of criticism which just isolates people further. If everybody had more support, people they could trust, and resources to feel like life isn't too much to bear, I've had more people wouldn't necessarily feel inclined to end it all.

I don't want anyone to be sad, it also makes me sad. I don't want to hurt anymore and even though I still want to escape ultimately, I just want to say that many of you have really moved my sad and scared heart in a good way.

And yes, I'm going to use emojis, and that's not "juvenile or inappropriate". It's called having a heart, and trying even in the depths of despair, to not lose the last part of myself that still feels love for innocent others in this world.

Everyone's choices affect everyone else. Everyone can make a difference. What do you think it's your last day or you haven't decided yet, I completely respect other people's decisions for their own lives. I truly sympathize for everyone who is in so much pain in so many ways, and I just wish the best for everyone no matter their situation.

If I had the power I'd make it all get better for everyone. In my dreams anyway.

Regardless, It's never too late to make a difference and still do some good in this world.

HUGS FOR EVERYONE

 

[purplemoon]

I don't hate myself at all,
I'm not perfect or anything, but I know I'm a good person, it's life that I get so frustrated and upset with, most specifically when people are so mean or cold when I'm nothing but nice.
When our government, or the friends we trusted, or heartless people we never hurt in any way don't care if they injure, traumatize, or let people starve on the streets.
I feel like a loving and tender person that feels suicidal when I just can't cope anymore. when my heart breaks and shatters into million pieces in the tears can't stop streaming down my cheeks. When I start trembling so much spiritual pain that I feel trapped here, and I just want to be free, I just want to be with God in heaven. I am loved, I am safe, or I will never hurt again. That's what I wish so many people out there would understand; it's not necessarily about finding the right shrink, or thinking positive, I've already done all that. I already know I'll be so much happier in heaven again where everything is sweet.

I will say that with the exception of one person on here that ironically behaving the very way that they said I was,l trying to make me feel worse, just for using emoji's, 99% of everyone else on here has actually amazingly helped me be a little stronger. I still want to leave the planet, but somehow I don't feel alone anymore.
Somehow my sadness has changed just a little bit. Somehow I don't feel quite as desperate or in as much of a rush, at least not at the moment. That's a reflection of some of the good people on here. Thank you.

Somehow the people on here have ironically inspired me to try to be a little bit stronger, I would still rather escape this physical realm, but I no longer feel like I'm just alone survivor of so many traumatizing people and events. I feel like we're all scattered everywhere so many other cells are struggling and we can actually help each other not with death, but with life.

Obviously I haven't interacted with everyone on here, but many I have interacted with I can relate to on a few levels and I see that they're just in a lot of pain. There's too much pain in this world and I wish that every human being on this planet could learn empathy...& To believe someone when they say that they're suffering. To offer kindness and support instead of criticism which just isolates people further. If everybody had more support, people they could trust, and resources to feel like life isn't too much to bear, I've had more people wouldn't necessarily feel inclined to end it all.

I don't want anyone to be sad, it also makes me sad. I don't want to hurt anymore and even though I still want to escape ultimately, I just want to say that many of you have really moved my sad and scared heart in a good way.

And yes, I'm going to use emojis, and that's not "juvenile or inappropriate". It's called having a heart, and trying even in the depths of despair, to not lose the last part of myself that still feels love for innocent others in this world.

Everyone's choices affect everyone else. Everyone can make a difference. What do you think it's your last day or you haven't decided yet, I completely respect other people's decisions for their own lives. I truly sympathize for everyone who is in so much pain in so many ways, and I just wish the best for everyone no matter their situation.

If I had the power I'd make it all get better for everyone. In my dreams anyway.

Regardless, It's never too late to make a difference and still do some good in this world.

HUGS FOR EVERYONE

Sorry for my Typos, i was crying and using microphone dictation...

 

[Fallen_From_Grace]

Life is general is alright. Life as we know it is fucking awful. That being said, I hate myself far more than I hate the concept of life and the scenario around us.

 

[Ch92921]

myself because I am a ugly fag!

 

[any%]

I love life, but my brain is just a giant malfunction & I abhor myself.

 

[Zal]

I hate life in general. It's basically a zero-sum game. The very fact that suffering exists due to life is enough a reason for me to hate life.
I don't hate myself. Not really. If life could be fundamentally changed, then maybe I wouldn't hate it so much.

 

[any%]

I hate life in general. It's basically a zero-sum game. The very fact that suffering exists due to life is enough a reason for me to hate life.
I don't hate myself. Not really. If life could be fundamentally changed, then maybe I wouldn't hate it so much.

Welcome on SS Zal,

and sorry for your angle of view, because with that you have no other chance than to fade away.
Imagine a man who hates a mountain because he can`t cross it.

 

[Zal]

It's not like we have a choice of fading away or not, because it is inevitable. But is it really too much to ask for a good world instead?

 

[any%]

I rather live and die instead of progressively fading away so yeah you can choose. And yes, it is way too much to ask for a good world, was that a rethorical question? The world itself is beautiful and good, it is the wrong doing of us that turned this ride into a sinister one. Everyone should add their own little contribution to a "good world" how they view it and not expecting it to magically come to existence by itself because yes, that is way too much.

 

[MeltingHeart]

Mainly just some (not all) of the people in my Life- mainly the parents I was born too-and the way I was treated by them and a number of other people across my lifetime (which I think I allowed and accepted-due to my early exposure to similar treatment). I could have loved life. And I dont even think I had or have clinical depression as such-rather reactive depression because of all that has happened to me. I think I could have been, normal, happyish, okish, successfulish and contented at least most of the time- but my soul, character and spirit has been totally crushed by these people and having no love or care given to me. I really wish I would have been given up for adoption into a loving family when I was born- bit too late now

 

[erehbus]

I am just unable to feel loved, to feel happy or to feel anything positive at all. I really wish for everyone in the forum to get better, to be able to get out of here and to enjoy life to its fullest, because I think it is truly marvelous - I just don't have hope for myself anymore.

 

[JTG1972]

Myself. Life is wonderful and beautiful—I'm the one who's ruined mine/the life of the one closest to me.

 

[Numbtopain97]

I hate life more than i hate myself

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I hate myself because I messed up and got myself into this mess and I hate life because of trauma, physical issues and things that happened to me out of my control.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Myself. I commited too many mistakes. Fucked Up my own life. I feel useless and stupid. Can't take this anymore.

 

[CrushedHopes]

I hate myself for being a conceited asshole for the past 7 years. I would say that I've led a relatively terrific life, otherwise. Unfortunately, my actions ultimately led to my own downfall.

 

[trynacbt]

I hate myself... life has given me everything. I have been so very lucky. But I'm not intelligent and I'm terrified of everything. I wish I had turned out to be more like my parents. I hope for reincarnation because I believe that life can be beautiful; I simply am not enough.

 

[charlie_z]

When our government, or the friends we trusted, or heartless people we never hurt in any way don't care if they injure, traumatize, or let people starve on the streets

It's true that there's a great deal of indifference to the suffering of others on this planet. Some of that indifference comes from ignorance, some from learned hatred, and some from individuals who, for one reason or another, were made or born with an inability to care how their destructive behavior harms others.

99% of everyone else on here has actually amazingly helped me be a little stronger.

People here have been very helpful, which says a great deal with respect to how they are able to empathize with others even when they are in the throes of the most difficult decisions an individual can make. That's the great function of community; it allows a space for people to share their fears, their desires, their likes and dislikes, and in this community, the right to say they no longer want to remain on this planet.

What do you think it's your last day or you haven't decided yet

I don't really know yet, but I struggle with this question a great deal. There's the wish to spend the last couple of weeks visiting the people and places that have meant the most to me, but I worry I won't be able to keep my composure when hugging a loved one for the last time, or that seeing some of the beautiful places that have touched my heart won't weaken my resolve.

 

[purplemoon]

It's true that there's a great deal of indifference to the suffering of others on this planet. Some of that indifference comes from ignorance, some from learned hatred, and some from individuals who, for one reason or another, were made or born with an inability to care how their destructive behavior harms others.

People here have been very helpful, which says a great deal with respect to how they are able to empathize with others even when they are in the throes of the most difficult decisions an individual can make. That's the great function of community; it allows a space for people to share their fears, their desires, their likes and dislikes, and in this community, the right to say they no longer want to remain on this planet.

I don't really know yet, but I struggle with this question a great deal. There's the wish to spend the last couple of weeks visiting the people and places that have meant the most to me, but I worry I won't be able to keep my composure when hugging a loved one for the last time, or that seeing some of the beautiful places that have touched my heart won't weaken my resolve.

You sound very intelligent and I appreciate your very thoughtful comments. It's right to the point and true.

I won't be able to see my sister and my mother for an official last or final visit before I go, I can relate to what you said; I would start breaking down crying, and I've never been good at saying goodbyes anyway.

I hope that you find your way and your journey, whatever that maybe.

 

[KN95]

Hmmm. It's hard to tell. The terrible things I have done, which I feel an incredible amount of guilt for and consequently has caused me to hate my life, happened quite some time before the point in my life when I began to hate life generally. It's only once I started to despise myself for the things i'd done that I started to hate everything else about existence. Whether there is a direct link or not I cannot be sure. Seems that way though. (Then again, my circumstances in life may have impacted my decisions in my life which I feel remorse for, so who the fuck knows.)

 

[GreyMonkey]

Myself for not being able to make the most of my gifts or enjoy the diverse life I've had and for fucking up all the good things that have come my way.

 

[Done at Fifty]

Life.
I hate myself for some bad choices, but life sucks no matter what I try so mostly I hate life

 

[Ame]

Life can be quite beautiful, but if I cannot fully participate in life and shape my own beautiful contribution to it, then I don't really see the point of being here. I hate myself wholly. I cannot stress it enough and I cannot possibly compensate for my being a burden. If I were to wake up perfect tomorrow, my worth would only be 0. At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, I have robbed my parents of the hopes and dreams hopes that they had for their child and now, to add insult to injury I dangle that child's corpse in front of their face each day I remain here. It is all my fault. Somehow, I manage to be too much and not enough all at once. I hate the me that cannot bring positive things into the lives of others.

Life is inherently difficult but their are nuggets of joy to be found if you take a moment to appreciate them.

This on the other-hand, is a disease.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

Myself
This world is fucking awesome

 

[Kodama]

Myself for not being able to make the most of my gifts or enjoy the diverse life I've had and for fucking up all the good things that have come my way.

+1

 

[Yuqani]

The realization that the universe found a way to become self-aware is poetic and beautiful to me.
I can't help but marvel at the nature of existence when my state of mind allows it.
So yeah, I hate myself.