Discussion Do you guys hide your depression from other people in your life

[sadidiot0328]

I stay inside my room alot/have troubles with sleeping so I'm visibly pale and with eye bags. When family asks I either lie and say it's preparing for my next semester or its bc of my new internship. Or it's simply "I'm tired" to people I'm not very close to. What about you guys?

 

[MidwinterSparkle]

For me it depends on who I'm talking to

I'm not very close to my family so I tell them "It's nothing" since they'll just eat that up

My close friends I tell them that I didn't really sleep or that I had a shitty sleep

Or something that I'm not close to at all I straight up lie and say I'm fine and/or that they should mind their business

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I try to hide it but it doesn't matter since it's obvious that I'm depressed. I just rot in my room all day. Honestly, I like rotting in my room but being perpetually isolated in my room gives it away. I don't even rot in my room due to depression. I do it because I simply don't want to do anything in the first place. I am depressed but for other reasons and I'll never tell my parents what those reasons are

 

[Seered Doom]

I try to hide it somewhat but it always surfaces at some point

 

[isthisit?]

None of my family members ever had any idea I was ever depressed. To them I was a happy guy.

My friends know everything though and I know about my friends time when they were depressed. In a way my friends and I lifted each other out of depression.

 

[dinosavr]

I used to but it got too difficult and I had to tell my girls that I live with and my siblings. My parents don't know yet, somehow. I visit them quite rarely and we almost never talk about serious stuff.
Also my ex boss knows because I told her to make her feel sorry for me after they fired me for no reason. I regret it though. + I guess more people know because she definitely spread this information out.

 

[divinemistress87]

Yes except my parents but they are desensitized to it

 

[ConfusedClouds]

The few times I've tried 'opening up' to anyone it has then ended in me playing up to it all a lot more and making all sorts of scenes. Totally inappropriate in most scenarios. Back to keeping to myself. People have suspicions but I have no answers or words so I have ended up running away, isolating, ghosting. Not great but oddly keeps me functional and independent in the bigger picture. Short term/seasonal type stuff where I can acceptably remain fairly anonymous.

 

[Felodese]

I've been depressed my whole life. When I was a kid I couldn't really hide it, but no one really seemed to care anyway.
Started hiding it more in my teens and have mostly continued to do that. My family still didn't care, and it's not really socially acceptable to be depressed. It's only "ok not to be ok" as long as they don't have to see it.
My real friends have known. Most of them have some kind of mental health issues themselves, so they sort of get it.

 

[Ironborn]

Hid it for years then when I tried to ctb they knew for sure.
Not like there were any signs:
Alcoholism
Jumping between jobs
No social life
Only when it became an inconvenience they showed any interest and it was all about how they felt.
Yeah that's WHY I never said anything you cunts.
On a positive note I haven't touched a drop of alcohol since the night of my attempt and I've finally seen what my family is really like.
I've written the lot of them out of my will, haha.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I have a bunch of serious medical problems, so I think everyone knows I'm not doing great. I don't talk about my depression to anyone though. I once told my husband I have suicidal thoughts, and it didn't go well. I just don't say anything anymore.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

Yeah but I'm such a mess at social events sometimes that I don't think it's much of a secret

 

[devils~advocate]

I hide it from my family.....they know Ive been to therapy a few times. I just don't let them know the extent of my depression or the thoughts I have.
It would hurt them immensely if they had any idea of this. I know they would try to help as much as they could.
If they knew the thoughts & plans I have for ctb,,,,they could more than likely commit me against my will. Everyone would then know it all.....

Friends and coworkers, I hide as well. I don't want them to think of me as someone that needs help or coddling.

My spouse, knows. I dont remember telling them my entire plan, but after a fight one time, they reminded me of what I told them. We had a fight about meeting up with some of my relatives for dinner...I didnt want to go, didnt feel like being around them..... but my spouse wanted to go. My spouse wouldnt take no for an answer but after awhile they understood, or at least I thought. To my surprise. they wrote me a letter and reminded me of ctb plan. I wasn't expecting that.
They tried to use my ctb plans it against me to make me feel guilty for not going to dinner with my relatives. They made it about them in that I was denying them from being social.... and then told me I needed to get help or else.

So I keep it all to myself now. They will all know how I felt after my ctb.
I have made audio recordings that tell everything,

 

[imnotsurewhy]

Yup its not that i m embarrased or anything its just that the look the people give you when you tell them..absolutely hate it i know most people mean no harm but if i tell someone anyone its just makes me paranoid

 

[chronicdissosiation]

not necessarily, my family has been aware of my depression and suicidal ideation but it's not like they really care. i mean they have their own lives to worry about…so i guess ive been shrugged off lol. with friends, they have their own mental health issues and seem to care about mine but not enough to talk to me about it

 

[promegranate_]

yes.... normally I pretend all the time.... I'm always smiling and laughing like I'm the happiest person in the world. whereas inside I'm just dying and screaming how much I can't take it anymore....

 

[rosepanda]

I only share with people I consider extremely close and lie to everyone else

 

[hematomatema]

Less hide it, more play it off as if it's nothing. So far no one except for my family has even began to think I have some long-lasting depression, and my family only have it in the back of their mind because of a previous attempt.

 

[heliophobic]

I hide the severity of it pretty well, but I've had passive suicidal ideations since I was 7(I'm 43 now) and my parents told me more than once that I was always a sad little kid, so there's only so much I can hide. I don't talk about my depression, but if I'm tired of hearing myself I can only imagine how anyone that knows me feels about me being a broken record. I've never hidden the fact that I've always been convinced that I'll ultimately ctb someday, I just don't know when. It'll either be from what I call my Ophelia Complex, or another method. But since I've gotten more serious in my plans, no one in my life knows. I'm just the usual mopey me.

 

[oneirataxia]

I feel like I should start hiding it so that people will begin to have a modicum of respect towards me.

 

[Yonlux]

Yes, usually the people see me depressed and question over that, but I simply lie saying "i'm so tired" or "It's nothing", and they forget that

 

[lv-nii]

Yes, my family knows, but only superficially so to speak. My close friends do know most of my problems, sometimes they don't want to talk about it or it makes them uncomfortable, I don't blame them, although it hurts, at least they don't know about my suicidal thoughts (although sometimes I give hints about it)

 

[untothedepths]

I sometimes mask. Other times my mood just bleeds out and effects others. I ruined last holiday.