Everyday i wonder what's the point to keep going when I don't have anyone by my side...and the ones I do have straight up ignored me.
Does anyone feel so lonely that they feel like a hole in their chest?
Yes, but here I am
with love, but somehow more alone than I was before.
Yet this sounds like a complaint,
and I wouldn't know where else to be.
Misery loves company,
and that guilt, that pressuring hold
only thickens with each day
I still talk to myself on my own,
or in my head while they're home.
I love them to death
but somehow still feel so completely alone.
Selfishness and pride will allow me to abide,
while I hold onto an idea of something I don't even have.
To knowingly lie to myself,
to try to claim that I'm fine
when all my lies are true
as long as they're socially looked at as mine.
If that is the case,
then I can try to play games,
to try to fool my own brain into believing I'm not...
alone.
Just alone in the game.
If the world sees me as
"not alone,"
it almost gives me permission to keep pretending as if im really not.