woxihuanni

woxihuanni

Illuminated
Aug 19, 2019
3,299
I sometimes cry if I am out there doing stuff with people, generally just silent tears nobody notices. But most of the time, especially when I am in a really dark place, I do not cry. What I constantly feel is shame and fear, not a gentle enough sadness for tears.

Interestingly, whenever I find some courage from some deep-buried reserves, a few hours later I have a much bigger crash. Even more fear than before.

So much fear for someone who is gleefully buying poison and does not mind a heart attack! But there are worse things in life.
 
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EmptySteph62

Student
Aug 4, 2019
169
Alot of my friends growing up were male athletes who were of the mindset that "crying is a sign of weakness" and bla bla bla. Because of that I kindof grew up afraid of crying around people or alone in my room or dorm if people can hear me.
However i definitely cry frequently in the shower. I also like to scream when I'm practicing batting or when I'm at my boxing gym cuz no one thinks anything of it and it just feels so damn good to scream your lungs out sometimes.
But yeah I cry alot out of grief for the life I'm trying so hard to live, but will never make it to.
 
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lizinha

Student
Feb 6, 2019
144
Yeah I am right now.
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
I'm the same way. I've cried more in the last year at the most inappropriate times. I've just been so down and hopeless. Shit, the mailman gave me a hug because I was crying one day.
What a nice mailman!
 
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coma-baby

coma-baby

Misanthropic Drunken Loner
Aug 21, 2019
88
Crying is getting harder due to the medicine I'm on (Zoloft).
I was actually discussing with my counselor earlier today that I hate crying because as a child, my emotions were always used to fuel fights my parents were having with each other. I cried a couple times during the discussion, but I was able to snap myself out of it and carry on pretending that we were having a regular conversation and sharing pleasantries.
I've been bottling everything up and waiting for it to burst out. I don't like crying. So I try to save it for times when I'm home alone or when my partner is asleep.
I've always been a cry baby, tears came easily. In high school, I could easily spend all night crying. Every night. So I cry a lot less now in comparison.
 
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iiii5555

Student
Sep 12, 2018
121
Of course not. Boys don't cry, didn't your jaile... I mean, parents... Didn't your parents never taught you that? Such bad parenting. Next you're going to tell me they never raped you mind with religion and sexual repression. Ha!
 
bunny

bunny

保管
Oct 3, 2018
364
all of the time
 
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Lifetimepunishment

Lifetimepunishment

Member
Feb 18, 2019
55
Yes. Just cried a few minutes ago when I see this post
 
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irregularheartbeat

irregularheartbeat

Memento Mori
Aug 25, 2019
65
I haven't been able to cry. All day everyday I feel like breaking down, but I just can't. I don't even have that left
 
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ScorpiusDragon

ScorpiusDragon

Mage
Mar 25, 2019
593
Personally I cant cry, not anymore. Its strange I feel hollow, like an empty shell.
I relate to this. I don't have any tears left.
 
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