Discussion Do you believe some people are just unfixable?

[BridgeJumper]

When you think it can't get any worse and then it gets worse—lol. That's such a fun one! You're gradually BELOW the rocks at the bottom!

I spent my entire twenties doing everything I could to alleviate my neurology after modern medicine had already failed me. I mean EVERYTHING. I became this wandering spiritual sadhu in a quest for healing and realization. From zen monasteries in France to Ayahuasca in the central rain forest. Crazy raw food vegan diets to intense fasting. My point is: I've tried everything under the sun (literally)—as it was my only objective to truly heal. Granted, much was gained in terms of perspective and developing a softer, simpler, kinder human being that is in touch with the depths of this fucked up human predicament.

And here I am...bedridden 23 hours a day. My only central activity is showering and that is proving to become difficult. Entirely isolated in a bedroom. I'll spare the grim details of this nightmare...

I have tried so many things for my ear pain and vertigo before I resorted to hard drugs. Ive tried dramamine, weed, valium, valerian root extract, before all those I tried every single otc painkiller. All the painkillers did was destroy my stomach, anti sickness pills shut it down for a while but quit working as it got worse, sleep aids made me a bit calmer and that's it. Then I took antiemetics joint in one pill with antisickness and it too quit working. I tried noise canceling headphones, ear muffs, plugs for my sound sensitivity and shieilding my ears only made both that and the spinning worse. I tried meditation, listening to ASMR, I lost all my money travelling abroad to get brain scans they recommended because they thought its in my brain and in my country they refuse to treat me.
Of course the scans came back clear, cause guess what, its not in my fucking brain its my ears that are fucked. Ive been addicted to opiates and I snort my dope all day because its the only thing that shuts out the pain, and even that slowly quits working. I have no balance and without crutches I cant even leave the house.
Without medical help, I have no quality of life. Im not even sure this can be reversed yet, my vestibular system is broken to shit.


So I wish people stopped telling me I didnt try! The fault in my life being destroyed is that they wont treat me!

 

[blahblahhh]

I have tried so many things for my ear pain and vertigo before I resorted to hard drugs. Ive tried dramamine, weed, valium, valerian root extract, before all those I tried every single otc painkiller. All the painkillers did was destroy my stomach, anti sickness pills shut it down for a while but quit working as it got worse, sleep aids made me a bit calmer and that's it. Then I took antiemetics joint in one pill with antisickness and it too quit working. I tried noise canceling headphones, ear muffs, plugs for my sound sensitivity and shieilding my ears only made both that and the spinning worse. I tried meditation, listening to ASMR, I lost all my money travelling abroad to get brain scans they recommended because they thought its in my brain and in my country they refuse to treat me.
Of course the scans came back clear, cause guess what, its not in my fucking brain its my ears that are fucked. Ive been addicted to opiates and I snort my dope all day because its the only thing that shuts out the pain, and even that slowly quits working. I have no balance and without crutches I cant even leave the house.
Without medical help, I have no quality of life. Im not even sure this can be reversed yet, my vestibular system is broken to shit.


So I wish people stopped telling me I didnt try! The fault in my life being destroyed is that they wont treat me!

Wow!

 

[BridgeJumper]

I even tried epley manever, I just yanked my head some directions with no idea what Im doing cause I read it will fix the spinning.
Nope.
So yeah.. .I know a bit or two about being so fucked its almost beyond help

 

[Buffy5120]

I even tried epley manever, I just yanked my head some directions with no idea what Im doing cause I read it will fix the spinning.
Nope.
So yeah.. .I know a bit or two about being so fucked its almost beyond help

So you cant do sn bc of your stomach right?

 

[BridgeJumper]

So you cant do sn bc of your stomach right?

Yep. No SN.
I cant even keep down water somedays.
I considered heroin injection because Im getting weaker and weaker and its harder and harder to get to my bridge and I cant jump anyway, decided to hang myself off it almost succeeded...

 

[Buffy5120]

Yep. No SN.
I cant even keep down water somedays.
I considered heroin injection because Im getting weaker and weaker and its harder and harder to get to my bridge and I cant jump anyway, decided to hang myself off it almost succeeded...

Im so sorry bridge u deserve peace what about this http://antidepaware.co.uk/why-propranolol/

 

[imsorrythatimhere]

I think I'm unfixable so yeah

 

[Nicothe13th]

Hmm, possibly.

Fixable is a term that's left to considerable subjective perspectives, but I believe most people, are capable of positive change.

I don't believe all murderers and rapists will be as such for eternity, I don't believe all addicts need remain as so, nor all depressed people stay that way.

For a long time I knew I had demons I couldn't escape, I had to face.

Namely, C-PTSD, Depression, Drug abuse and Anxiety were the main ones.

Now these are all solvable, I didn't give up at this stage. OK, I tried to commit a few times, but I guess the attempts were half hearted and I didn't really, really want to go or atleast, there not be a 100% certainty of this.

Since around December last year though, I started to get cyber bullied, by a teacher I loved as a friend and respected and looked up to immensely.

Anyway, it turns out this teacher liked me in a way I didn't like them back, and decides to unleash a campaign of 'trolling' on me all day, everyday ran by an AI botnet of some sort.

Now after almost 500 days of psychological torture, plenty of ambulance trips and dragging my family through more shit than I have before it's my time to give up on that glimmer of hope and accept my fate.

I waffled a bit, but f it, why not, these will be amongst my final words.

In summary, DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING GIVE UP IF YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR PROBLEMS!

If you're not, I understand and don't guilt trip or shame yourself, if your suffering is set to be lifelong then suicide is a dignified act ❤

 

[Catlovergirl]

Yes, I 100% feel there are people put there that can't be fixed , however you'll never know who or for sure as the medical community or psychiatric folk would obviously cover that aspect up as it would be extremely taboo, but I bet you there is definitely truth to that but they can't and will not be able to admit it. I suffer from.servere BPD and depression and it's finished me off completely.

 

[Life sucks]

Life is unfixable

 

[Mr. Whippy]

It's unfortunate, but yes. Some brains are beyond repair, just like a blind eye or burned skin. However, it doesn't mean that you can't learn to accept what you are and try to enjoy stuff, learning to accept the ugly part in yourself. I have some problems in me (some even made me consider CTB, like my traumas, chronic loneliness and anxiety) that i know i will never be able to fix, but i have learned to at least enjoy doing other stuff and how to circle around those problems. Yes, i'm avoiding shit but it is the best i can do.

 

[CallOfTheVoid112]

Do you believe some people are just unfixable?
Beyond help?
I had 48 sections, 2-3 years of therapy, traveled to 2 treatment centers, all of that has done nothing for me
NOTHING
NULL.
14 years of this, and every year I get worse. Maybe Im beyond help. There was a girl who managed to be euthanised for mental illness at 29 years old....
So far Ive been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, alcohol dependency, opioid dependency, atypical vertigo, tetany, suspicions of eating disorder, many more keep reappearing in my chart, recently my blood quit clotting and my legs started going numb, Im just so MULTIPLY FUCKED.
Im in agonizing pain both physically and mentally and nothing ever works.
I feel theyre sending me a message to give up...
Nothing I try ever works. Multiple diagnoses, all life gone to shit.

You described me.. bpd, opioid dependent, me to a T.

 

[GarageKarate07]

Do you believe some people are just unfixable?
Beyond help?
I had 48 sections, 2-3 years of therapy, traveled to 2 treatment centers, all of that has done nothing for me
NOTHING
NULL.
14 years of this, and every year I get worse. Maybe Im beyond help. There was a girl who managed to be euthanised for mental illness at 29 years old....
So far Ive been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, alcohol dependency, opioid dependency, atypical vertigo, tetany, suspicions of eating disorder, many more keep reappearing in my chart, recently my blood quit clotting and my legs started going numb, Im just so MULTIPLY FUCKED.
Im in agonizing pain both physically and mentally and nothing ever works.
I feel theyre sending me a message to give up...
Nothing I try ever works. Multiple diagnoses, all life gone to shit.

NO! A flower needs one thing to grow, LOVE! When it's watered, it's LOVE. When it's put in better weather, it's LOVE. When it's given better food, it's LOVE. Cut off the withering bits, it's LOVE. Love is a shower of small but powerful gifts. You give those same gifts to another person, ANY person, and they will show color and appreciation just the same. Give them a loving home and they will smile. Give them a place where their opinion is heard and they will find character. Take some burden off of them and they will start to spread their wings a little wider. Give them worthwhile responsibility and they wont want to drink the time away in a blur. Create an environment where natural excercise and better more nutritious food are encouraged and no more health problems. Better medicine will always equal recovery. However that is not the daily menu here. We are told to eat garbage, work needless jobs, stay away from dangerous strangers, back foolish ideas, and expect to be happy inside that prison. Flowers can't grow in a place that has no love for it. Neither can people. Someday, when love is brought back into the world more happiness will blossom. Sometimes a person can change their environment but it can be very very hard here. It's not impossible it's just difficult. ❤

 

[Sensei]

Unfixable in what way? Mental health conditions are sometimes unfixable, i.e. uncurable, such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, However, there are many examples of people who have learned to live with them. I'm not saying that it's easy, because I know from my own experience that it isn't, but it's certainly not impossible.

 

[BridgeJumper]

I get all that positive talk and shit
But I'm literally an invalid
Not only my mental illness is uncontroled no matter what they do, neglecting my physical problems caused me to loose my balance, now Im both batshit insane and bedbound with destroyed inner ear. There isw no hope.

 

[saltshaker]

Definitely. It's an uncomfortable truth.

As fucked up as i am i'm probably still on the fixable side of things though. So i have that going for me. :/

 

[Stroopwafel.]

At this point I'm in the only specialized hospital in the whole country for my condition, and I still feel as bad as when I came here. In a few months my treatment in here will end, and even though I did learn some stuff, I still feel like shit and suicidal every day. This is definitely not gonna 'save' or 'fix' me. So yeah, I definitely start to think I'm unfixable at this point. Maybe life just isn't for me.