Discussion Do u want to get better or do u not want to?

[SpiderLink]

Personally, I want to get better, but I know I can't. It sucks being powerless over my life, when it's mine in the end. I would rather the pain stop, than continue to suffer, but some things in this world can't be changed by one person, I wish the world was more kind. It sucks being stuck, with no way out. The only escape I have is to go to sleep and hope I don't have a dream/nightmare. Often they feel very real.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

No, because it wouldn't be under the desired circumstances. At best, I could "cope" and it just isn't worth it.

 

[UninformedLover]

I ping-pong back and forth from wanting to get my life together and want to kms. It's frustrating.

 

[unnormal9]

Why do you want to go? Do you really have no hope for the future?

I’m curious about everyone’s reason why they want to CTB. I know asking that is a sensitive topic but I want to see if I can relate to any of you. Also, do you really, truly, feel like things won’t get better even if they’re not good right now?

sanctioned-suicide.net

Why do you want to CTB?

I feel like not a lot of people ask this, so i wanted to, feel free to use this place as a spot to vent about anything involving the reasons you want to CTB, it can be big or small, a reason is a reason and you won’t be judged for it here. Me personally, i want to CTB because i think theres no...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Do you want to get better?

Like of course everyone wishes to be happy but I mean like there is a sort of comfort in suicide and more specifically the leading up to it that things don’t really matter. Like things aren’t as important, losing your headphones, skipping an assignment. It’s like it really doesn’t matter I’m...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Thrice a thread like has appeared. these already discussed thread will pop up beforehand. to prevent clutter and constant reiteration.

 

[SpiderLink]

No, because it wouldn't be under the desired circumstances. At best, I could "cope" and it just isn't worth it.

I agree, everyone around me is pushing me to cope rather than heal

I ping-pong back and forth from wanting to get my life together and want to kms. It's frustrating.

Same here

 

[unnormal9]

Data-gather #2

 

[SpiderLink]

Why do you want to go? Do you really have no hope for the future?

I’m curious about everyone’s reason why they want to CTB. I know asking that is a sensitive topic but I want to see if I can relate to any of you. Also, do you really, truly, feel like things won’t get better even if they’re not good right now?

sanctioned-suicide.net

Why do you want to CTB?

I feel like not a lot of people ask this, so i wanted to, feel free to use this place as a spot to vent about anything involving the reasons you want to CTB, it can be big or small, a reason is a reason and you won’t be judged for it here. Me personally, i want to CTB because i think theres no...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Do you want to get better?

Like of course everyone wishes to be happy but I mean like there is a sort of comfort in suicide and more specifically the leading up to it that things don’t really matter. Like things aren’t as important, losing your headphones, skipping an assignment. It’s like it really doesn’t matter I’m...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Thrice a thread like has appeared. these already discussed thread will pop up beforehand. to prevent clutter and constant reiteration.

I didn't just ask if u want to get better..

Data-gather #2

What do u mean?

 

[SentimentalTrip]

I ping-pong back and forth from wanting to get my life together and want to kms. It's frustrating.

Same here. I know that realistically my life is fucked up beyond repair and that I will never be happy, yet every now and then I find myself thinking "Maybe I can fix my life."

It must be part of our genetic wiring wanting us to survive.

 

[SpiderLink]

Same here. I know that realistically my life is fucked up beyond repair and that I will never be happy, yet every now and then I find myself thinking "Maybe I can fix my life."

It must be part of our genetic wiring wanting us to survive.

Yeah, there's always that hope deep down in us, making us doubt ourselves. It sucks when I'm "given" the tools on how I can "fix" my life yet it isn't helpful, and I'm being told I'm not trying hard enough. It's so frustrating, and some of these r coming from professionals too

 

[UninformedLover]

Why do you want to go? Do you really have no hope for the future?

I’m curious about everyone’s reason why they want to CTB. I know asking that is a sensitive topic but I want to see if I can relate to any of you. Also, do you really, truly, feel like things won’t get better even if they’re not good right now?

sanctioned-suicide.net

Why do you want to CTB?

I feel like not a lot of people ask this, so i wanted to, feel free to use this place as a spot to vent about anything involving the reasons you want to CTB, it can be big or small, a reason is a reason and you won’t be judged for it here. Me personally, i want to CTB because i think theres no...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Do you want to get better?

Like of course everyone wishes to be happy but I mean like there is a sort of comfort in suicide and more specifically the leading up to it that things don’t really matter. Like things aren’t as important, losing your headphones, skipping an assignment. It’s like it really doesn’t matter I’m...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Thrice a thread like has appeared. these already discussed thread will pop up beforehand. to prevent clutter and constant reiteration.

only one of those threads are similar to this one and its over a year old... op making this thread is like a non-issue and isn't cluttering up anything...

 

[unnormal9]

I didn't just ask if u want to get better..

What do u mean?

Look, you may not be ill-intent, by the constant repeated threads is...
Nevermind. Just forget it.

only one of those threads are similar to this one and its over a year old... op making this thread is like a non-issue and isn't cluttering up anything...

It is, and there way more like it that were recent too and shit.

 

[SpiderLink]

only one of those threads are similar to this one and its over a year old... op making this thread is like a non-issue and isn't cluttering up anything...

Thank you

Look, you may not be ill-intent, by the constant repeated threads is...
Nevermind. Just forget it.


It is, and there way more like it that were recent too and shit.

You're not a mod, just let me speak please. I can't even get people to hear me out outside of here.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I didn't just ask if u want to get better..

What do u mean?

Please just ignore him. many of us have put them on ignore.

 

[outrider567]

Please just ignore him. many of us have put them on ignore.

Agree, I've had unnormal9 on ignore all year

 

[Ontwon]

Good question. I think I do but by my actions I'd have to say no. Life is painful and to try, really try to make things better is painful indeed with no garentee of success. In fact the only thing that is for sure is death...

 

[SpiderLink]

Good question. I think I do but by my actions I'd have to say no. Life is painful and to try, really try to make things better is painful indeed with no garentee of success. In fact the only thing that is for sure is death...

I 100% agree with u

 

[leftdreaming]

I don't want to get better, because then I'll just prolong my suffering and when I get worse again I'll just be kicking myself.

 

[wanttodie]

I don't want to get better, i want to die

 

[ikadasui]

I think you may find better conversation in the recovery threads if you are aware of those. Just trying to point out there is a section more suited to this type of thing

 

[enditall222]

I wish I could get better, but its impossible. Death is the only option

 

[bugfart]

Personally, I want to get better, but I know I can't. It sucks being powerless over my life, when it's mine in the end. I would rather the pain stop, than continue to suffer, but some things in this world can't be changed by one person, I wish the world was more kind. It sucks being stuck, with no way out. The only escape I have is to go to sleep and hope I don't have a dream/nightmare. Often they feel very real.

If things could be the way I need them to be in order to be alright, then yes. Absolutely. But that will never happen. I'd need a completely new brain and new life and new personality

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I would like to get better but I've almost given up. It's an unbreakable downward spiral.

No success (with business/financial/life -> existencial crisis) -> depression -> new trial -> hope -> no success --> deeper depression and so on ... and so on.

No hope to escape this anymore, no energy left, only CTB is the solution to end this downward spiral I'm in since years now.

 

[Forever Sleep]

To really 'get better' I would need to face the things that REALLY frighten me in life- I'd need to tackle my crippling lack of confidence coupled with social anxiety. I'd really rather not! I think that's the 'problem' with recovery- it surely takes so much will power and effort and resilience- and I'm just tired and want to give up.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I have been strong for far too long.
My fight is over.

I don't want to get better, because then I'll just prolong my suffering and when I get worse again I'll just be kicking myself.

Yes. We are like hamsters on a wheel. Nothing really changes. Just going from one form of suffering to another.

I would like to get better but I've almost given up. It's an unbreakable downward spiral.

No success (with business/financial/life -> existencial crisis) -> depression -> new trial -> hope -> no success --> deeper depression and so on ... and so on.

No hope to escape this anymore, no energy left, only CTB is the solution to end this downward spiral I'm in since years now.

Me too. Been fighting way to long now. I'm too tired and old for this. There is no fight left in me.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

I think plenty of people want to have a better life, but what is failed to be mentioned is most of us won't. Fate has already been predetermined. Some of us have tried very hard to better our situation and do anything and everything to improve life, but nothing ever happens no matter. Some give up. I am in that spectrum. Life and it's hardships just constantly find a way to keep me down, so fuck it..I'll stay there because I am old, tired, worn,bitter,cynical and jaded from everything that has been dealt upon me and life as a whole. Wonder if I was just a terrible person in my previous life (if I had one) something had to transpire for getting emotionally wrecked, heart ripped to shreds and getting hurt. Just want it all to be over and done with. The hell with this planet, the people and the existence. Tired of crying, Tired of wanting something that will never be mine regardless of the steps I take. It's a lonely, sad and depressing existence. I didn't ask for this and don't want it anymore. Getting older and morbidly obese. Just let me DIE.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I think plenty of people want to have a better life, but what is failed to be mentioned is most of us won't. Fate has already been predetermined. Some of us have tried very hard to better our situation and do anything and everything to improve life, but nothing ever happens no matter. Some give up. I am in that spectrum. Life and it's hardships just constantly find a way to keep me down, so fuck it..I'll stay there because I am old, tired, worn,bitter,cynical and jaded from everything that has been dealt upon me and life as a whole. Wonder if I was just a terrible person in my previous life (if I had one) something had to transpire for getting emotionally wrecked, heart ripped to shreds and getting hurt. Just want it all to be over and done with. The hell with this planet, the people and the existence. Tired of crying, Tired of wanting something that will never be mine regardless of the steps I take. It's a lonely, sad and depressing existence. I didn't ask for this and don't want it anymore. Getting older and morbidly obese. Just let me DIE.

I can relate to this on every level: been a good person all my life, yet treated like dirt for no good reason. Everything I try fails, for no logical reason. Tired of trying, wanting, needing, hurting. Yet nothing ever changes for the better.
I don't believe in curses, but it often makes me wonder if there is such a thing. Cursed at birth by whatever being created us.
So sorry you are going through this too.

 

[charlotte_]

I'm not too sure. I'm quite split on this one to be honest. Part of me just want all this shit to be gone and be happy again, but part of me craves the feeling of pain and suffering. It's like I want to feel sad even though I don't...? The thought of getting better is great but at the same time rather superficial. Besides, for some reasons, I can only feel good when I harm myself, physically or mentally. Hope that makes sense lol.

 

[blue_muse]

The cons of continuing to live with my health condition outweigh the variables of getting better.

 

[FuneralCry]

The question makes little sense to me as wanting to leave this world isn't an "illness", the problem will always lie in existence itself and the fact is that wishing for ctb is a perfectly logical response to being trapped in this world, I know that in my case I could never be delusional enough to wish to exist here as I have awareness that existence is nothing more than an unnecessary harm.

To exist means to be a slave, we are slaves to our suffering and our decaying flesh prison where all that is inevitable is even more suffering, loss and decay, it's irrational to want to exist in this hellish world where there is unlimited potential to suffer and where we are destined for nothing but to be tormented by old age, existing truly is so futile and undesirable. I know that existing could never appeal to me, there is nothing to be gained from this process of slowly dying, the reality is that the existence of life is just a horrifying mistake and to die would solve what the true problem is which is existence itself.

 

[kwho]

Do u want to get better?

Absolutely! Via dying.

It's time to retire this one (kwho )