Or is it only me? I have guilt too much regret and anger due to which I want to ctb. I do not have any other mental disorder. I can see in this forum mainly people want to ctb because of permanent illness or mental disorders. I am defamed and being cursed by the society. Is it normal to feel like to ctb?
Yes. Both consume every minute of every day in my mind.
It is one of the reasons as to why I want to off myself
same. i feel suicidal because of excessive guilt and regret.
Mr2005
Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
- Sep 25, 2018
- 3,622
This is exactly why I want to. Or more accurately might have to. When it gets to the point it's just too unbearable which it already is really. Fifteen years of regret. Lots of anger. Lots of diagnosis that have served no purpose. I was better before I got involved. If I've any mental illness now it's as a result of what happened but as I've said before I'd have to be mentally ill to not feel like this
What is that long lasting regret if you feel confortable to share?
Mr2005
Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
- Sep 25, 2018
- 3,622
^
That I wanted plastic surgery when I was 17 and instead of sorting it out myself I put it into the hands of others while I sat on my arse smoking weed. It was already starting to disagree with me then. Here I am at 33 still smoking it. Never had surgery just wasted my youth waiting for it. The worse thing is I still don't know if there's anyone who'd do it now but it doesn't even matter anymore. Actually maybe the worse thing is I don't deserve sympathy, I did it to myself.
That I wanted plastic surgery when I was 17 and instead of sorting it out myself I put it into the hands of others while I sat on my arse smoking weed. It was already starting to disagree with me then. Here I am at 33 still smoking it. Never had surgery just wasted my youth waiting for it. The worse thing is I still don't know if there's anyone who'd do it now but it doesn't even matter anymore. Actually maybe the worse thing is I don't deserve sympathy, I did it to myself.
Darkhaven
All i have left is memories
- May 19, 2019
- 979
Of course they do.
Just look at those people that commit mass murders and then kill themselves.
Altough i'm aware that some do so also in order to evade going to prison.
I believe that some of them also do so because they feel guilty about their failures or sins or misdeeds or whatever it is that's making you feel regretful and guilty.
Just look at those people that commit mass murders and then kill themselves.
Altough i'm aware that some do so also in order to evade going to prison.
I believe that some of them also do so because they feel guilty about their failures or sins or misdeeds or whatever it is that's making you feel regretful and guilty.
Yes . regrets and guilt in abundance. Got into drugs n stuff. Screwed my brains up .. Am out of it now but done damage to life which is irreparable .. N now in deep depression. I fucking hate myself
Mr2005
Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
- Sep 25, 2018
- 3,622
They've a funny way of showing it. I think they blame everyone else
Rachel74
Enlightened
- Sep 7, 2019
- 1,716
My ex wife left me and in whole family she disclosed my secrets which I shared to her only. Also, my son is with her and she is not in the country where I live and can't go there. My biggest mistakes.
What is that guilt Tony?
What are those regrets and guilt? Maybe some rehabilitation center help you with your mental disorder?
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That actually reminded me of Ed Kemper. His story is chilling but basically he was a serial killer who actually won't attend his own parole hearings because he says he's not fit for society, and one of the reasons is because he doesn't feel guilt or shame for what he's done. How crazy is that? He's smart enough to know he's a sociopath and is just kind of resigned to it, he doesn't think he can change it and his way of doing the right thing is to not fight to get back out into the world.
After years of me not being able to ever be happpy enough for those around me and not being able to find lasting joy, my wife finally decided to call it quits. It was my greatest fear. All I have left is shame and regret. Everything I see from pumpkins to someone putting a roof on (we had that done to our home last year) brings me pain. The pictures on Facebook, pictures at the homes of family of us when we were happy, quesadillas (what I always made my kids for dinner), dads with their kids at the bus stop. I know when I ctb it will hurt them also, but I feel less than the hurt I will keeping causing being alive.
Stan
Factoid Hunter
- Aug 29, 2019
- 2,589
Similar in some respects to me. I don't suffer from a diagnosed condition, but I know I am depressed as hell. Coming up to Christmas soon, for the past 7 years it has become torture as it was, as a family the best time of the year ever. The fact I have been robbed of all the 'family man things' things that I so craved and desired and driven into the ground financially leave me no other choice. I picture the future and I hate every single aspect of it. I used to be such a social animal and now I am a hermit. I spend my days doing absolutely nothing. My guilt comes from not fighting harder, but the laws in the UK provide little to no support for fathers so it would have been futile. I have no future apart from a dark and lonely one. I have no hope for myself for I am now far too damaged to come back. I have no self esteem for the thing I have become. Others may say that is a position you could recover from, I beg to differ.
Maybe you can recover as the people are saying. How old are you?
Stan
Factoid Hunter
- Aug 29, 2019
- 2,589
51. I appreciate the sentiment but I don't want or need intervention. Nobody can tell their full story in a paragraph. Was just showing support for your original post that you don't need to have a diagnosed mental health issue to wish to cbt.
Regrets not so much, but rather guilt and shame of being a bad person
Wayfaerer
JFMSUF
- Aug 21, 2019
- 1,938
Same deal over here but I am also cripplingly depressed as a result so you could say I'm lucky enough to suffer from both.
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,815
People suicide for ALL different kinds of reasons. As for guilt and regrets, yes, it is a valid reason and personally for me, I have permanent disabilities and disorders (Aspergers especially then coupled with anxiety and depression - both from environmental and upbringing). So on top of my existing problems, I have my own set of guilt and regrets in life so that adds to my reasons of wanting to CTB. At the end of the day, only you can decide what reasons are valid for you and no one should invalidate or gatekeep others' decision in regards to suicide.
Guilt for sure. Let my wife down so many times during my "episodes" of cheating and not carrying about the world. Guilt will be the end of me.
sadgirl2002
Fallen Angel
- Apr 9, 2019
- 452
The guilt and regret is my main reason for ctb. Of course, the pain and suffering that I've been going through all my life is also a factor but guilt and regret was the push to end my life.
It's even worse if I focus on the things that I failed at or actions I took that have been destructive. So whatever u do, do not read or watch things about the specific things that trigger u to dwell on it. The more u focus on things u can't do nothing about, that make u feel bad the worse it is.
Sometimes living in the past gives you pleasure. As soon as you come to present, it looks horrifying.
Rheaz
Member
- Sep 12, 2019
- 33
I have so much guilt and regret. It consumes my whole day. I fear waking up in the morning. I've turned into a recluse. I recently got diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder after a 6 month episode of psychosis. My whole family acts different towards me. I would do anything to go back in time. Now my days are consumed with thoughts of how to ctb. My SI is so strong though because I have kids. I don't know what to do. Every day hurts so bad. I'm sorry you all are dealing with guilt. It really is a nightmare.
Sweet emotion
Enlightened
- Sep 14, 2019
- 1,325
JimFord99
Enlightened
- Aug 18, 2019
- 1,047
Would not do we all do it in a different way, if we could? Sadly the clock is only ticking forward.
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