Discussion Is CTB selfish? How do you deal with the guilt of it

[anopenwound]

@cheyxnn She's still here cause she's exceptional. That doesn't mean anything per se. It surely doesn't mean I'm worth it. If I was life wouldn't have turned the way it has.

 

[JustAnx]

No human being depends on me financially. And very very few care about me. And those who care about me, if i were to depart would be very sad, buy they would know that i did it to not suffer anymore.

 

[pariah80]

I'm very sorry for that... truly. For most, children/parents have unconditional love but you are correct that it depends on the circumstances. I'm not and can't judge anyone because I am going to be doing it and I will be judged. However, the OP asked if suicide is selfish.....I can only say that in many cases, based on the definition, it is. I am going to be creating pain and suffering and trauma for my loved ones because I need to end my own immense pain and suffering.... Therefore, I am putting my "need" to end it above what they are going to have to endure as a result. I'm not speaking for you. I should have worded my response differently.

On the same token, you said, "If I had young children or someone who was dependent on me, then I would not even consider ctb. I guess it CAN be selfish in that regard." Unfortunately, I fall into this camp and I never could have or would have thought to do something like this but when you have been injured in such a rare way that you are suffering immensely, it's like being in a burning building you need to escape from. No one could imagine it and as you said, shouldn't judge another. But I feel incredibly judged and guilty based on what you said. I don't want to leave or hurt my loved ones....

For what it's worth, I am sorry you had horrible parents. I'm not trying to lay guilt on anyone. I should have worded things a bit differently and I apologize for that.

No, you said what you said. I'm not offended in the least, nor take it as combative. I appreciate the sympathy. I'm not judging you nor anyone. I, personally, would consider it selfish of me to bring my baby into this world (thank the universe that I don't have children) and catch the bus on them. Or if I had at least a functional relationship with my parents, and they got up to where they couldn't take care of themselves and depended on me. At that point, life stops being about me. My child is the only thing that would matter to me. Now, when they get older and can take care of themselves, I'd proceed to do it and try to make them understand why I had to.

I get it. The pain can just become too unbearable. If one wants to think of that as being selfish, then so be it. I totally sympathize with you, though.

 

[DontTouchMeImFamous]

I think it is tbh. How do I deal with the guilt of it? I tell myself that I will be so dead by then to ever feel guilty or worry about people I left. And I personally believe that guilt, regret, and even empathy are emotions only the alive can feel. When I'm dead, I won't be able to feel these things as these feelings are mere hormones, nothing more, nothing less.

 

[suffering_mo_7]

No, you said what you said. I'm not offended in the least, nor take it as combative. I appreciate the sympathy. I'm not judging you nor anyone. I, personally, would consider it selfish of me to bring my baby into this world (thank the universe that I don't have children) and catch the bus on them. Or if I had at least a functional relationship with my parents, and they got up to where they couldn't take care of themselves and depended on me. At that point, life stops being about me. My child is the only thing that would matter to me. Now, when they get older and can take care of themselves, I'd proceed to do it and try to make them understand why I had to.

I get it. The pain can just become too unbearable. If one wants to think of that as being selfish, then so be it. I totally sympathize with you, though.

Thank you for understanding. For me, it's not just depression, etc. I have a lot of neurological issues and physical pain and rare conditions that make me miserable.... plus brain damage and extreme depression. Otherwise, I would never leave them. EVER. The pain of that adds to my suffering so much.

 

[kvsvenky100]

Forcing others to live is selfish, not suicide.

 

[TAW122]

While from the others' pov it is selfish, I don't think the argument of selfishness is really a strong enough one to obstruct or forbid someone from either not going or going through with it. After all, throughout most of humanity, human nature has always been inherently selfish. I won't get into a whole discussion (that's better for a thread in philosophy though) about selfishness. As for the guilt of things, I believe it will be subjective and will vary between each individual greatly. Some people have people in their lives they don't want to let down or feel bad when they choose to CTB while others don't mind or isn't really deterred as much. As for myself, I take the perspective of that life is full of suffering, I never (or rather nobody who is sentient) actively or intentionally chose to be sentient or alive - it just happened we are, and this is why we are in this mess to begin with! So in that case, while there is some guilt about how people will feel sad, I'm ultimately going to do what is best for me (which sadly still means I have to fight my SI on the moment I attempt - which I won't truly know until the very moment itself) and after all, nobody but myself is experiencing my life for my own and I know what is best for my life (better than my kin, better than my close acquaintances, friends, etc.).