pogostick
Student
- Jul 29, 2025
- 118
This post is just a whole bunch of waffle but I've tried to format it in a readable way, if anybody actually wants to read.
I said in a previous post that my suicide date was either October 31st or November 1st, but I'd actually calculated some things wrong and my date is November 3rd.
I guess I'm just debating seeing the fireworks (nov 5th), I also know that suicides during firework shows are said to be higher because everybody is busy and you can't hear the sound of gunshots. Guns aren't very common here but there's still something beautiful about dying with that sort of background.
It presents some logistical issues, like people don't usually start the fireworks until around 7pm but the train I was going to try for comes at 8(with about an hours total journey to get to where I ended to be, so I'd be late) but I could always get the train at 10, or kill myself at the station rather than the rural location I had planned.
Since going to my local station, I've been considering my location more detail. The only real benefit is that it's way closer than the spot I had planned (and higher speed trains pass through), but there's cameras and I'll get fined £1k if I back out. There's no cameras in my original location and it's darker.
I guess I just worry about prolonging and prolonging and prolonging. If I pushed back the date every single time something interesting was happening then I'd have 50 years worth of suffering ahead of me lmao.
On some other notes, I found out my friends have a groupchat without me. I've heard a lot of other people talk about things like that but I never thought it would happen to me, but it's not like we're that close anyway anymore. We're all supposed to be going out for Halloween but I'm not sure that I'll go. Out of the 5 other people that could be going, I only like 2 of them. Besides, they want to go clubbing and I'm not really in the mood.
I feel like I was gonna say something else but I can't remember lmao. If I wait until the 5th I'll skip uni on Tuesday and Wednesday. I've just been spending my days sitting at the train station and eating good food
I said in a previous post that my suicide date was either October 31st or November 1st, but I'd actually calculated some things wrong and my date is November 3rd.
I guess I'm just debating seeing the fireworks (nov 5th), I also know that suicides during firework shows are said to be higher because everybody is busy and you can't hear the sound of gunshots. Guns aren't very common here but there's still something beautiful about dying with that sort of background.
It presents some logistical issues, like people don't usually start the fireworks until around 7pm but the train I was going to try for comes at 8(with about an hours total journey to get to where I ended to be, so I'd be late) but I could always get the train at 10, or kill myself at the station rather than the rural location I had planned.
Since going to my local station, I've been considering my location more detail. The only real benefit is that it's way closer than the spot I had planned (and higher speed trains pass through), but there's cameras and I'll get fined £1k if I back out. There's no cameras in my original location and it's darker.
I guess I just worry about prolonging and prolonging and prolonging. If I pushed back the date every single time something interesting was happening then I'd have 50 years worth of suffering ahead of me lmao.
On some other notes, I found out my friends have a groupchat without me. I've heard a lot of other people talk about things like that but I never thought it would happen to me, but it's not like we're that close anyway anymore. We're all supposed to be going out for Halloween but I'm not sure that I'll go. Out of the 5 other people that could be going, I only like 2 of them. Besides, they want to go clubbing and I'm not really in the mood.
I feel like I was gonna say something else but I can't remember lmao. If I wait until the 5th I'll skip uni on Tuesday and Wednesday. I've just been spending my days sitting at the train station and eating good food
