Venting Didn't do it

[Johnzaga23]

So my biggest fear became reality. I didn't do it. I had the noose around my neck, standing on the chair, and all I had to do was to kick the chair. I thought about family. I thought about hell. And generally, i thought about not giving up just yet...
All those months wasted, where for nothing. I don't know what to do now. Probably I'll say everything to my therapist and get admitted to the ward? Then I'll probably need to make a big reform in my life if i want to survive. Or I'll just wait again when i feel fed up to do it. Im so weak. I cannot do life, and i cannot do death.

 

[Jadeith]

All those months wasted, where for nothing.

Shhhhhhhshhhhhh.....
It's okay. It's perfectly okay. You didn't fail, you're not a coward. It's not a competition, it's not a dare. You just chose not to do it. It was your choice and you shouldn't be ashamed of it. Take care...

 

[ForeverCaHa]

As someone who is still recovering from a "failed" attempt, I'd recommend taking it easy as much as possible for the next few days. If you are able/willing, talk to people about it. It's exhausting, and there's a whole lot of emotions that come along with this. Just be kind to yourself, it's not about cowardice or whatever. Please do reach out if possible, and take care of yourself.

 

[DoomCry]

I understand you and it must be a terrible pain. I prefer to throw a high speed train at myself so that it is all over in an instant.

 

[Johnzaga23]

im not supposed to be alive