Discussion Did you 'reach out'? Poll

[Forveleth]

More than once I've told my partner to his face that I don't want to live anymore. He never really says anything back other than "let me know if I can help" which is hilarious because he's mostly the reason I'm here.

 

[Meteora]

I find it shocking to read how many of us reached out and made it clear that they need help.......... and obviously did not get it.

 

[thedevilwithin]

never reached out, never will.

 

[alltoomuch2]

Only to the mental health practitioner and crisis team because I'd really like to be happy and live (but really lost hope of that). There's no danger of being sectioned cos there are no places.

 

[Zaphkiel]

Tried. Gave more trouble, and nothing else. Regretted it.

 

[luneylonegirl]

Lol yea, i reach out and told em all that i need help. Made it clear what help i needed but they are all deaf or what idk, i don't understand. Friend of mine told me that people will never care that we are really dying if we not die lol. And that's right.

I failed my attempts 3 times and no one care that i'm so fucking suicidal they told me to stop being suicidal dan told me to stop threatening them with suicide which is good because i feel that i need to prove em that i really want to die, i need help, and they all deaf. I will die soon, this year.

 

[thepiecessatup]

Only to the mental health practitioner and crisis team because I'd really like to be happy and live (but really lost hope of that). There's no danger of being sectioned cos there are no places.

Yeah that's exactly it. Getting sectioned (in UK in my case) is basically impossible. No beds. Not enough staff.

 

[Meteora]

never reached out, never will.

Maybe smarter...

Yeah that's exactly it. Getting sectioned (in UK in my case) is basically impossible. No beds. Not enough staff.

That's insane.... well, here (CH) you do get a bed but... the support and treatment is anyway sheit. They make a shit lot of money with us, getting a bed in random (not specialised) psych ward costs 700 Euro here - per day!
It's a huge business.
We have a lot of private clinics that get payed by the basic health insurance. They are kind of "semi-public" and make a lot of money. They are organised like normal companies.

 

[thepiecessatup]

Maybe smarter...


That's insane.... well, here (CH) you do get a bed but... the support and treatment is anyway sheit. They make a shit lot of money with us, getting a bed in random (not specialised) psych ward costs 700 Euro here - per day!
It's a huge business.

Ours is 'free' (paid via taxes) but there's apparently no actual product… there's really very little hope of getting help.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Reached out like Stretchy McStretch.

 

[Meteora]

Ours is 'free' (paid via taxes) but there's apparently no actual product… there's really very little hope of getting help.

That sounds aweful....
____________

My ex-boyfriend is Czech. His parents are doctors. They both earned around 1'300 Euros per month. It s the repercussions of communism, I guess, but in a way it is just fair.
In Switzerland, a doctor can easily make over 10'000 per month, if hes in a leading position even much much more.

As a comparision, I live from 1'000Euros per month currently.

Can you imagine what happens to the quality of doctors if they can become rich, really wealthy? It attracts a lot of foreign doctors, too, for them this is the land of milk and honey, obviously. Besides, these doctors that come to CH are missing in their countries.

You shouldn t become a doctor because you can get rich. That s a very wrong motivation.

 

[thepiecessatup]

That sounds aweful....
____________

My ex-boyfriend is Czech. His parents are doctors. They both earned around 1'300 Euros per month.
In Switzerland, a doctor can easily make up to 10'000 per month, if hes in a leading position even much more.

As a comparision, I live from 1'000Euros per month currently.

Can you imagine what happens to the quality of doctors if they can become rich, really wealthy? It attracts a lot of foreign doctors, too, for them this is the land of milk and honey, obviously.

You shouldn t become a doctor because you can get rich. That s a very wrong motivation.

It's a terrible motivation.

 

[zerocontrol]

I have tried to express my current suicidal tendencies through my art and jokes. Pretty sure most I had gotten out of that was "damn you're pretty edgy". Other than that - I have mentioned my past attempt to a couple of friends who I knew wouldn't judge me. Wish I could talk more about these kinds of things with people I spend time with, but I know for a fact that most I'll get is the good old "hope you get better" and "have you tried going to a therapist?". Can't blame them though.

 

[LaughingGoat]

Not in terms of seeking help. I've had plenty of philosophical discussions with people about suicide, right to die, and anti-natalism but I have no interest in burdening someone else with my crap.

 

[Iris Blue]

I did in the past but now I keep to myself even though sometimes I wish some would notice I'm not ok. To me talking doesn't do anything good only bad for everyone else making them worry and sad.

 

[halleyscomet]

I am an extremely honest and blunt person, most likely due to my autism. Because of this hiding my suicidal tendencies hasn't been much of an option. I say what I think, whether I like it or not - to my own detriment tbh. I have made it abundantly clear to everyone in my life that I am mentally ill, and I am struggling. But people just do not take me seriously. People generally do not care, until death is knocking at your door. Even so, even during my previous attempts, nobody seemed to care either. I suppose I just have very not empathetic people in my life.

As of recently however, I have been able to keep quiet and hide this from my family. I'm not sure what has changed, but nowadays I can keep things to myself, probably because I have an outlet here on SaSu. I am grateful for this, as telling people irl has caused me nothing but misery and making my problems worse.

 

[wall.713]

I've never reached out or told anyone about my ideations really, and hiding myself from other people has somehow been really important to me. I don't need help or to get better, I need to die. And that's why I keep it all to myself most of the time.

 

[anastenka]

I've told a few people, though excluding therapists

My mother, at least, is well aware I'm suicidal but honestly accepts that. That's not saying I don't think she'd be heartbroken if I did CTB but she's aware about how much I suffer, and HAVE suffered, that I think she will just let me be. She hasn't reported what I have confided to my psych treatment team, and I don't think she will.

When I overdosed in February, I was very ill. I had thrown up everywhere and was twitching in and out of consciousness. She had simply sat beside me on my bed, holding my hand, and assured me I could go if I wanted. That all I needed was to do was sleep.


I'm afraid though of reaching out to professionals as I have done before though. I don't think I could survive being in a ward again:(

 

[vitbar]

For years I hid it. Told people I was just tired. Few years ago started being more honest. Everyone knows I have depression and anxiety now. Only a handful know about the ideation. I feel unable to tell my family about it. My sister has some idea. Telling a friend about it got him encouraging me to tell my doctor. Telling my doctor lead to some therapy and eventually finding a drug regime that works for me. I'm in a much better place, but have a long way to go. I still ideate and get depressed, but nothing like as dark or deep as before.

I also called helplines a few times. They mostly helped in some way. Just telling someone my problems can release the pressure.

 

[Yuki_03]

I did. Totally regret it. I am not doing it again if I had the chance to.

 

[akwa]

My therapist that landed me here taunted me to go kill myself. I went home and nearly ended it that night, but my husband was traveling for work and it just didn't seem like the time. I still hear her taunting me. It'll ultimately be the thing to push me to the edge, I'm certain of it.

 

[HereTomorrow]

Told friends. Lost many because being suicidial and not immediately CTBing can mess up friendships. Ended up in ER against my will because they freaked out too much (I don't hold it against them for telling an adult, we were all 11-12).

Told family, forced me into therapy I barely trusted and messed up my perception of getting professional help again.

Told therapist, therapist made me swear I wouldn't do it and got angry at my 2nd ER visit for suicidial thoughts. Therapist made me feel guilty for being suicidial instead of helping me.

Told friends again, ditched me as unstable when I tried to explain to them my therapy trauma and told others to stay away from me.

It was at that point I swore to never tell anyone again to keep my few friends, then years later I found SaSu after identifying a root cause (Childhood Sexual Assult).

Not reaching out to anyone outside SaSu anymore, at most I tell people IRL about hotline resources or therapy methods in general, but telling anyone IRL I felt suicidial was probably the biggest series of mistakes in my life.

 

[Disappointered]

I called a helpline housed by a professional-type institution that I cannot mention on three separate occasions, each time getting no response. The helpline is very canadian: it is window dressing to make people perceive something that isn't real.

The fact that there's never actually anyone answering the helpline isn't actually so appalling in the context of the situation because some aspects of life in the fake pseudo-nation I'm in are totally darwinistic - almost to the point of collective psychopathy - so ultimately a helpline wouldn't be able to actually help. What's appalling is the dishonesty inherent to the organization that tells everyone it has a helpline when in fact, it does not. But that's pretty much the essence of what this country really is...

 

[homesoon.]

I was somewhat honest about wanting to cbt, without specifying I have access to the method (cause I'm not trying to be involuntary committed), and I ended up in intensive outpatient. Which, by the way, on top of day-to-day experiences, isn't doing shit. I'm trying not to give up hope, but I wonder how much longer it will take before I just give in.

 

[onbekend]

I know realistically speaking that nothing significant would happen for me. There's a deep rooted fear that I have though, That they will somehow lock me up in psyche ward. Truth is however they'd most likely just think that I'm going through a phase of depression, without any realization of just how close I am to obtaining CTB resources.

 

[littlelungs]

I spent nearly 2 decades "reaching out" to both family and professionals – when I was being abused, when I was suffering from the physical, psychological and emotional consequences of being abused, when I fell ill with a condition I'd never recover from (because there's no cure or approved treatment), when I was unable to work due to my deteriorating condition as the result of not getting the proper help or information I needed, etc. With the exception of a very select few people, nobody who could have actually helped me listened, gave a shit or did anything that could have actually made a difference until it was too late, and the damage that was done from when I did try to reach out (e.g., false diagnoses due to not properly listening to me and jumping to their own conclusions, thus leading to being improperly medicated and causing further damage as a result), not receiving the help and support I needed and desperately trying to cope/fix things in the meantime is now far too extensive. And I'm not just saying this out of hopelessness – it's just a fact.

If anybody says "oh, how sad, she should have just reached out" after I die, I will come back down here and flicker the lights in their house. I've made a lot of mistakes in life, but not reaching out was not one of them.

 

[stuck_here]

Only person I want to reach out to is the reason for my misery, I regret falling for her.

 

[Moniker]

Two former friends of mine are aware that I've attempted suicide. I still have those moments burned into the back of my mind. I was given advice: get therapy, it gets better, etc.

What a waste of my time. There's something remarkable about learning that the greatest benefit to reaching out was generic aphorisms about life and happiness.

I've never bothered with professional help. I'm shocked by the horror stories I've read by those who have. There's also this looming feeling that I couldn't be helped at this point since my suicide ideation has been festering for a majority of my life.

 

[Denis]

It usually stresses other people out, so I'd not recommend it. They are comfortable dealing with simple facts, like you're already dead, or will die soon, from some incurable illness. But not with something as vague as "I'm feeling suicidal and want to die due to this and that". Imagine your friends saying you that. Even being suicidal yourself, what would you say/do in return? You'd probably try to cheer them up, and that's only natural for us. Seems like death and suicide is too personal matter.

 

[LilysAngel]

No. Not to anyone outside of this forum. I fear that anyone I would tell would immediately send me back to a psych ward.