everrgreenn
well
- Nov 24, 2018
- 20
i like to think that i made this whole world up in my head. who knows, maybe i did.
No way. You'd have done a much better job than whatever sadist created this one.i like to think that i made this whole world up in my head. who knows, maybe i did.
Mine was similar...I had a planet and sometimes a galaxy. Everybody had their own kind of Heaven. It was like the movie with Robin Williams "What Dreams May Come" and the show "Supernatural". We get to create our life and afterlife how we want. My world was similar to this except people treated each other like one gigantic family and loved nature people wanted to live, but when it was time to die they felt little to no pain and people didn't have to mourn death a lot because in my world the living and the dead could communicate and sometimes see each other. Love rules the Universe and Dimension. Those that acted hateful were delt with according to their actions. People treated others the way they wanted to be treated and if they couldn't follow the Law of Love their was another place and the worse the crime the worse the punishment and the longer. In my imaginary world I was loved by my family and those I didn't know, I have many friends and animals to play with, and loved others and nature. Time seemed to not matter much and money had little to no value. Parties and celebrations were an all time thing. Hospitals, jails, mental facilities were not full because people were generally happy. The Laws of Physics were different...gravity wasn't as strong, we could do things with atoms we didn't know we could, and Quantum Physics was practiced. We learned from our mistakes and we were able to heal the past. Like literally able to time travel and help the victims to not suffer as much when in pain and/or save them. The Universe I built in my head helped me to escape the hatred that's always around me. I wished it was real. It would be nice if we could live in world filled with love, peace, and happiness.I used to imagine that everyone had their own planet and they could choose who they'd want and what they'd want on their planet.
I pictured everyone being with some other human being, while I was the only human on my planet.
My planet had tons of animals. Mostly lions and elephants. Spiders, flies, and mosquitoes weren't allowed on my planet.
Whenever one animal would die, a new animal was born.
Each animal species had their own type of fruit from their own type of tree that contained all the nutrition needed for that animal to survive.
It was never too hot or too cold on my planet. Never too bright or too dark. And it was never too loud. At night you could see all the stars and the moon.
I lived inside a large tree and whenever I was hungry I could eat veggies or fruits. If I ever craved meat or fish, I could get it from a special type of tree. I could eat it raw (I loved raw meat) without getting sick.
When I first starting making this planet up, no animal ever hunted or killed another animal. After a few years, I changed that though, and an animal could kill another animal without the other animal feeling any pain.
I really hope we can live in our imaginary worlds after we die. I really hope so.
If you made this world we probably wouldn't want to commit suicide...it would probably nonexistent.i like to think that i made this whole world up in my head. who knows, maybe i did.
Wow, has the imaginary friends seem real? Like almost take a life of there own and have a personality and look rea? I'm sorry for all the questions. That could be a blessing and curse because if you want to escape you could automatically and not have to deal with the drama but when you need to focus on a job, drive, and emergency task it would be scary to not be able to take care of them.Yes, i suceeded in that in childhood, i even had at least 5-6 imaginary friends who protected me and i actually felt it.. it became harder when i grew up and now i can't use this to distract from reality anymore ((
Why do you feel like you don't deserve to be happy?I'm in my head aaallll the time, plus got really vivid dreams in which I actually feel more alive than when awake. Sometimes I feel like maybe I should change my surroundings a bit to fit my inner world and self realize a little but I really have no chance. And even if I had, I don't think it would make things better anyway. I feel like I don't deserve to be content and happy and had to block myself from these positive feelings long time ago. But if I could change the place I live in, you bet I'd enjoy it. However, I don't really have a core so I would probably keep changing it all constantly.
I couldn't agree with this more! I used to live in my own fantasy world as well, because my real life was unbearable. On my fantasy world I was loved and appreciated, downright special. In real life, I was unlovable, one random underachiever in 7+ billion. But though daydreaming made me feel better, it also made real life worse. I gave up on it almost completely by now and worked instead on getting myself incorporated into my surroundings. It worked for while, I was happy, I was loved and I belonged. My partner and my friend made my life rich, full and amazing.My response is kind of like reznikoff's. This sort of daydreaming started for me when I was young (elementary school) but it became much stronger in middle and high school - possibly because I discovered online roleplaying along with a couple of other friends, so we indulged each other. Towards the end of high school, a lot of my friends had moved on from roleplaying or had much less time for it. But I wasn't ready to move on at that point. I'd grown up in an abusive, poor household and did not have any hopeful future prospects. Like many high school friendships, some of mine ended in fights or conflict as people went bonkers with hormones or their personality changed. Despite having a couple of friends after graduating I still felt lonely, rejected, and hopeless. So I cut my ties with people and retreated into my own little world. And it ... brought me nothing in the long run. A couple of years ago I realized that I had done nothing with my life since graduating and that my fantasy world(s) were consuming me, making my real life much harder - I wasn't making friends, I wasn't accomplishing anything, I was poorer than ever, and I was still lonely and wanted to die.
So I made myself stop being so involved with it. I forced myself to abandon that inner world and reconnect with a friend I knew and liked, and that went well (we're still friends, and we both struggle with depression and high functioning autism so she understands). I applied to college (not going so well ...). And I started trying to actually lead a healthy life, even if it wouldn't ultimately cure my depression/suicidal ideation.
I hadn't known how bad maladaptive daydreaming could be until I met my last girlfriend (a relationship that ended a few months ago). We met through literate roleplaying online (I was starting to try and take writing up again but felt lonely with the hobby as well as rusty) and clicked. However almost immediately I noticed that she was as obsessed with her own little world as I had been with mine years ago. Every topic of conversation we had always somehow wound back up with her talking about her characters and her persona, even if it was completely irrelevant. Any time I or a mutual friend went through a hard time she didn't seem to care. A friend of ours had a close friend die and wanted to talk about it and her response was "Oh well, death happens, what are you going to do about it. Now, do you guys want to hear about _ that I created/thought of for Evermore (her imaginary world)?" She had no sympathy for anyone else but felt personally wounded whenever someone didn't pay obsessive attention to her story and characters, to the extent that she would spend literal hours whining about how hurtful it was to her when others criticized her work or even vaguely disliked it. It was like her only interest. And then she created a fake social media account to spy on myself and others and try to impose her fantasies on real life, got caught, and promptly blocked all of us.
It was around then that I began to feel and realize how absolutely pathetic we both were at different points in our lives. "Maladaptive" daydreaming is the perfect term for it because it's true. Focusing all your time and attention on a fantasy world to such a degree is escapism and it WILL eventually become your coping method if you let it. Spending your days dreaming of a fantasy world that will never, ever exist to the extent you abandon your actual life and hurt other ACTUAL people to maintain that for yourself ... well, it's sad. And frankly if you're going to live your life entirely in your own head to the extent that you don't give a shit about anyone else who actually EXISTS, then maybe do the rest of the world a favor and do it alone rather than dragging others down with you.
None of this is aimed at anyone specific of course, just figured I'd share the dangers of doing what OP mentioned. Another friend I had a few years back, an older mentor type, had a girlfriend who tried to literally become a character from a D&D campaign they had that became long-running because she also became obsessed with the fantasy. So as far as I'm concerned what I experienced is not an isolated incident either.
Sorry for the late response, I haven't been online as much recently because I've been trying to move from one state to another, but anyway ...I couldn't agree with this more! I used to live in my own fantasy world as well, because my real life was unbearable. On my fantasy world I was loved and appreciated, downright special. In real life, I was unlovable, one random underachiever in 7+ billion. But though daydreaming made me feel better, it also made real life worse. I gave up on it almost completely by now and worked instead on getting myself incorporated into my surroundings. It worked for while, I was happy, I was loved and I belonged. My partner and my friend made my life rich, full and amazing.
I'm now at the point where I lost that life, and I cannot handle it. Until I saw this thread I hadn't even considered to go back into Midgar, and I know I won't. But it feels tempting right now. Works be pointless though, it would only remove myself further from reality and make me mentally worse in the long run.
I know, ctb isn't the best coping way either, but I try to struggle on in this world for a little bit more.