Discussion Did anyone else create their own imaginary world/reality?

[seekingoblivion]

Years ago but I got tired of living in a dream. It became too painful coming back to reality and realizing how empty my life is.

 

[pole]

I guess yeah, i have too. We create these worlds and just these perceptions of reality to help us believe and really imagine of a world where WE ourselves are genuinly happy and not afraid, nor do we have anything or anyone to worry about. These imaginations of reality and our own worlds is a place for me personally to just escape from everything and IMAGINE what a life that i want and wanted would feel and look like.

 

[JadedGray]

My response is kind of like reznikoff's. This sort of daydreaming started for me when I was young (elementary school) but it became much stronger in middle and high school - possibly because I discovered online roleplaying along with a couple of other friends, so we indulged each other. Towards the end of high school, a lot of my friends had moved on from roleplaying or had much less time for it. But I wasn't ready to move on at that point. I'd grown up in an abusive, poor household and did not have any hopeful future prospects. Like many high school friendships, some of mine ended in fights or conflict as people went bonkers with hormones or their personality changed. Despite having a couple of friends after graduating I still felt lonely, rejected, and hopeless. So I cut my ties with people and retreated into my own little world. And it ... brought me nothing in the long run. A couple of years ago I realized that I had done nothing with my life since graduating and that my fantasy world(s) were consuming me, making my real life much harder - I wasn't making friends, I wasn't accomplishing anything, I was poorer than ever, and I was still lonely and wanted to die.

So I made myself stop being so involved with it. I forced myself to abandon that inner world and reconnect with a friend I knew and liked, and that went well (we're still friends, and we both struggle with depression and high functioning autism so she understands). I applied to college (not going so well ...). And I started trying to actually lead a healthy life, even if it wouldn't ultimately cure my depression/suicidal ideation.

I hadn't known how bad maladaptive daydreaming could be until I met my last girlfriend (a relationship that ended a few months ago). We met through literate roleplaying online (I was starting to try and take writing up again but felt lonely with the hobby as well as rusty) and clicked. However almost immediately I noticed that she was as obsessed with her own little world as I had been with mine years ago. Every topic of conversation we had always somehow wound back up with her talking about her characters and her persona, even if it was completely irrelevant. Any time I or a mutual friend went through a hard time she didn't seem to care. A friend of ours had a close friend die and wanted to talk about it and her response was "Oh well, death happens, what are you going to do about it. Now, do you guys want to hear about _ that I created/thought of for Evermore (her imaginary world)?" She had no sympathy for anyone else but felt personally wounded whenever someone didn't pay obsessive attention to her story and characters, to the extent that she would spend literal hours whining about how hurtful it was to her when others criticized her work or even vaguely disliked it. It was like her only interest. And then she created a fake social media account to spy on myself and others and try to impose her fantasies on real life, got caught, and promptly blocked all of us.

It was around then that I began to feel and realize how absolutely pathetic we both were at different points in our lives. "Maladaptive" daydreaming is the perfect term for it because it's true. Focusing all your time and attention on a fantasy world to such a degree is escapism and it WILL eventually become your coping method if you let it. Spending your days dreaming of a fantasy world that will never, ever exist to the extent you abandon your actual life and hurt other ACTUAL people to maintain that for yourself ... well, it's sad. And frankly if you're going to live your life entirely in your own head to the extent that you don't give a shit about anyone else who actually EXISTS, then maybe do the rest of the world a favor and do it alone rather than dragging others down with you.

None of this is aimed at anyone specific of course, just figured I'd share the dangers of doing what OP mentioned. Another friend I had a few years back, an older mentor type, had a girlfriend who tried to literally become a character from a D&D campaign they had that became long-running because she also became obsessed with the fantasy. So as far as I'm concerned what I experienced is not an isolated incident either.

I started doing it because I was isolated and didn't have anyone, which is still true. The only people in my life are my parents and only my mother knows about it. She actually didn't know until I told her. She could understand why I do it and doesn't blame me. I didn't tell my father because I don't have that much contact with him so it didn't seem necessary. It doesn't get in the way of my life since I don't have one and it doesn't hurt anyone since I keep it to myself and don't let it interfere with what's going on around me. I'm essentially living in 2 worlds at once.

 

[Deadgirl]

I started doing it because I was isolated and didn't have anyone, which is still true. The only people in my life are my parents and only my mother knows about it. She actually didn't know until I told her. She could understand why I do it and doesn't blame me. It doesn't get in the way of my life since I don't have one and it doesn't hurt anyone since I keep it to myself and don't let it interfere with what's going on around me. I'm essentially living in 2 worlds at once.

Well put @jadedgrey it doesn't have to interrupt/ interfere with anything. It's a different reality to retreat when you are alone.

 

[JadedGray]

Well put @jadedgrey it doesn't have to interrupt/ interfere with anything. It's a different reality to retreat when you are alone.

Yes, some people are still able to function in life while daydreaming or only do it when they're alone, like you said. It's like playing video games or a virtual reality simulator, that people use as a temporary escape each day.

 

[ithappens]

I started doing it because I was isolated and didn't have anyone, which is still true. The only people in my life are my parents and only my mother knows about it. She actually didn't know until I told her. She could understand why I do it and doesn't blame me. I didn't tell my father because I don't have that much contact with him so it didn't seem necessary. It doesn't get in the way of my life since I don't have one and it doesn't hurt anyone since I keep it to myself and don't let it interfere with what's going on around me. I'm essentially living in 2 worlds at once.

Yeah, I was there once. It's hard not to go back too. Things get rough and it's the first thing I want to do, so I feel you.
I guess my biggest concern is for people who start not being able to tell the difference between reality and their fantasy. That's when things can get harmful for themselves or other people.

 

[JadedGray]

Yeah, I was there once. It's hard not to go back too. Things get rough and it's the first thing I want to do, so I feel you.
I guess my biggest concern is for people who start not being able to tell the difference between reality and their fantasy. That's when things can get harmful for themselves or other people.

I agree. When it's something you can turn on and off like a light switch, like going to a Comic-Con event, it's fine but when the person starts to carry on in real life with their fantasy and blur the line between them, that's when it becomes unhealthy and can become a problem.

 

[EmotionlessWanderer]

I really hope we can live in our imaginary worlds after we die. I really hope so.

 

[Deadgirl]

I really hope we can live in our imaginary worlds after we die. I really hope so.

I wish that would happen!

 

[Alchemist]

I created a world for some stories a while, but it wasn't really a nice place since people suffered as much as in this one. Then again my lack of creativity makes me wish to live in worlds created by others.

 

[Donewitheverything]

I created a world where I was more useful and attractive. I had a slender, semi-muscular physique and I saved the world from external forces. Even had my own posse and everything. It was nice.

 

[HaleyWayMCR]

Yes, I swear I spend most of my time doing this. I have an alternate version of myself in my daydreams that I like better. I also believe it's a coping mechanism and when I'm in stressful situations I imagine that the characters in my imaginary world are there with me.

 

[Mogley26]

My imaginary world became my real world and when I realized my real world was made up of my hopes and dreams but wasn't really real I lost it. I convinced myself my friend and others it was real. Way too long to explain. Here I am, planning to ctb Tuesday. Thank you for sharing.

 

[JadedGray]

My imaginary world became my real world and when I realized my real world was made up of my hopes and dreams but wasn't really real I lost it. I convinced myself my friend and others it was real. Way too long to explain. Here I am, planning to ctb Tuesday. Thank you for sharing.

Good luck.

 

[Ivenocare]

Yes, I have friends in my head and they have relationships and birthdates and such.

 

[Mogley26]

Th

Good luck.

Thank you.

 

[JadedGray]

Th

Thank you.

You're welcome. Will you be making a thread?

 

[Mogley26]

I've made many. You mean for my Tuesday night ctb?

You're welcome. Will you be making a thread?

 

[JadedGray]

I've made many. You mean for my Tuesday night ctb?

Yes, I meant a goodbye thread.

 

[Mogley26]

Funny thing. I was going to last Tuesday. I made a thread, situation was perfect but I ended up taking the rope off and going to bed.this Tuesday it's supposed to be raining so I'll be wet tying my rope to a tree then around my neck. I need to so bad. If you knew why you would agree, believe me. I am scared to make a thread. I want to complete this. I don't know what to do. Maybe I will. I dunno. What about you? Will you make a thread?

Yes, I meant a goodbye thread.

 

[JadedGray]

Funny thing. I was going to last Tuesday. I made a thread, situation was perfect but I ended up taking the rope off and going to bed.this Tuesday it's supposed to be raining so I'll be wet tying my rope to a tree then around my neck. I need to so bad. If you knew why you would agree, believe me. I am scared to make a thread. I want to complete this. I don't know what to do. Maybe I will. I dunno. What about you? Will you make a thread?

It probably adds more pressure to make a thread because you feel like you have to get it done at that moment after telling people you would, even though they won't know either way. Maybe you can make a thread, but instead of that day, make it that week or month to let people on here know.

I plan on just typing a message on my profile. I don't want to make a thread because I wouldn't want all the attention.

 

[Mogley26]

It probably adds more pressure to make a thread because you feel like you have to get it done at that moment after telling people you would, even though they won't know either way. Maybe you can make a thread, but instead of that day, make it that week or month to let people on here know.

I plan on just typing a message on my profile. I don't want to make a thread because I wouldn't want all the attention.

Good suggestion. I'll think about it. Thank you..

 

[JadedGray]

Good suggestion. I'll think about it. Thank you..

You're welcome. Hopefully everything works out for you.

Yes, I spend more time there than in the real world. Escapism is my only coping mechanism. It started when I was a kid, but I actually do it more now than I did then. At least there, I can have the life I always wanted, being the person I always wanted to be and surrounded by the people I wish I had known. I realize how pathetic it is, but I couldn't stop doing it now if I wanted to, it's like breathing air for me.

Now that I think about it, it might have started with my invisible friend. When I was 4 years old my invisible friend was a 21 year old man named Joe. My dad didn't care for him. :P

 

[ZixivaldYrxes]

Yeah I did and I convinced myself of its truth, maybe three years back. It was basically the marker that led to my mental deterioration now (I had suspected before then that I was in the prodromal phase of developing schizophrenia). I was practicing lucid dreaming and it got to the point where my dreams felt real and reality felt like a dream. Hard to capture in words. I miss it. Since then my dreams are still very vivid but they're awful. Not quite as vivid as then though. It was in that state of mind where I realized where people got the inspiration to get graphomanic and write out long ass religious texts and such that, before then, I always thought were coldly calculated as a means of social control.

 

[azucaramargo]

I know this sounds silly, but did anyone else create a world similar to this but with unique climates and people? Ever since I was a kid I created a world where it began as a paradise for swimming. Lots of bodies of water eg. Beaches and oceans. I would hangout with these guys and we would be best buds or they were like the brothers i never had. I called them water boys. As I grew older this turned into a civilization that i ruled. Long story short I relized I created a whole world and am a god to these people. Did this happen to anyone else? I have better memories there tbh.

You are so creative! Your post reveals a level of imagination that is really well-developed!

 

[Severen]

No, because in the past, I thought... Why not just turn my reality into what I want it to be... Then I spent years, trying to shape this world into something I want...then I found out, that such a task is impossible and the entire time, I was just a fool ice skating up a hill. Because one would literally have to conquer the world to achieve this.

 

[jake3d]

Yes, i used to do it all the time and it kinda kept me out of trouble tbh. I also used to try and achieve astral projection when i learned what that was.

My brain needs something to rummage on. When that imaginary world of mine got replaced by everyday worries, things started going bad. Wish i never stopped doing it.

 

[Scribble Fan]

I started doing this in high school in order to cope with everything. I'm not sure what to make of it, just kind of ended up eating my life away. Then again, I did prefer my fantasies to living. Probably why I spent so much time on them.

Ridiculously enough, they always ended badly. I don't know why I did this to myself but I never won in the end, haha.

I'm surprised at how many other people do this as well (pardon me for being so naive).

 

[Nightglimmer]

As a child I totally did this, however for me it got way too out of hand. I think I may have started to develop schizophrenia because of the intensity of my malaptive daydreaming. It started when I was in first grade by just pretending. At first it was all fun and games but after a traumatic event, my fantasy world became my real world. I started to believe that my fantasy world was more real than the one I lived in. It became so intense that I started hallucinating things that just made my fantasy seem even more real. This just got worse and worse, which I didn't even realize, and even though my friends played along with me they knew it was fake. Meanwhile I thought it was my life, so after many years the day when one of my friends had to literally tell me after I got too into my delusional fantasy world at recess, "you know this isn't real right?" It crushed me. It was strange to see the world I built for years crumble down upon me, when I, as a child only in 5th grade, realized that the delusions and the visual and auditory hallucinations were not something everyone else had. At the time I didn't even know how to imagine something because my lines between reality and imagination were so blurred that I couldn't tell them apart. I remember people would say things like imagine your favorite food or something else and I couldn't because I did not understand how to. It took many years for me to be able to start to differentiate imagination and reality again. However after the realization that my dream world was not real I think I just mentally collapsed, and that mental collapse got worse and worse over many years, which caused the mental state I am in now.

 

[Oblivion Lover]

Yes, I do that all the time since childhood. I like to isolate myself from people and pretend I'm someone else for a moment. Sometimes I'm an important scientist researching a cure for the zombie apocalipse, sometimes I'm the leader of a secret group which plans to destroy humanity save for a chosen few, sometimes I'm the Antichrist preparing for the final battle with god, etc. I love doing that, but I feel so empty after I stop pretending that I'm important. My family thinks that it is strange and that I should have stopped doing that and focus on my terrible real life, but if I did that I would be dead long ago. Needing to pretend that I'm someone else to cope with life is also the reason I like videogames so much.