I know that suicide is the right decision for me, I just can't bring myself to make the decision. I think it's partly that medication is currently working for me a little bit- I have suicidal thoughts, but I am not as agitated. I am still desperately lonely, my only company is television, quiet, and anti-social.
If I put it off, it might become less possible. But also, my method takes about four days, and needs input and preparation.
Right now, I don't want to make the decision, but I know that this will lead to greater suffering in future, and I am just delaying the inevitable. I am also ageing and more suffering is coming.
I wish I could make a decision and stick to it.
I also wish I had a shorter, quicker method, but the four day one is the only one I have.
What is keeping me here? I don't know. I don't want to upset my family, but I already went missing once, presumed dead, so it isn't going to be a big surprise.
I don't feel like I can make any decision, because I can't think straight, but this is going to lead to more suffering.
If I put it off, it might become less possible. But also, my method takes about four days, and needs input and preparation.
Right now, I don't want to make the decision, but I know that this will lead to greater suffering in future, and I am just delaying the inevitable. I am also ageing and more suffering is coming.
I wish I could make a decision and stick to it.
I also wish I had a shorter, quicker method, but the four day one is the only one I have.
What is keeping me here? I don't know. I don't want to upset my family, but I already went missing once, presumed dead, so it isn't going to be a big surprise.
I don't feel like I can make any decision, because I can't think straight, but this is going to lead to more suffering.
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