NSFW Dating life rant/vent

[kitkatt]

Well FUCK me and FUCK my life because WHY CANT I HAVE ANYTHING NICE met someone I like (oh good god I'm scared) and they about to have to fucking leave and omfg I would like to freak the fuck out ftw but oh fucking WELL. But like he's my type HE called me his girlfriend even?! He said he'd come and get my initials tattooed and did we also of course did spend da nights and fucked (he matched my freak and well it's been a minute felt like a century since I had some so) but anyway I wish I wasn't so fucking traumatized by people because then I wouldn't feel FUCKING INSANE WHEN I LIKE SOMEONE. (I don't feel crazy yet but fuck it can change super quickly) And oh of course life has fucking jokes because he's into all the same shit I am plus more. A fucking delight to be around, talks to my friends. Into cosplay (masks) and is just all around a freaky little creature. For the love of FUCKING god please let this one thing work out even though the government is RUINING my life right now.
Okay that's all for now will probably bitch and moan more one way or another

 

[Jamesbond]

Why are to seeking the love of someone else whilst you cant love yourself? I get desire for sex or feeling loved but from someone who is attempting actively and wants to die, why drag someone else into a loving relationship when you want to die? Or are you hoping that will fix you some how? Sadly i can tell you it doesn't.

 

[kitkatt]

Why are to seeking the love of someone else whilst you cant love yourself? I get desire for sex or feeling loved but from someone who is attempting actively and wants to die, why drag someone else into a loving relationship when you want to die? Or are you hoping that will fix you some how? Sadly i can tell you it doesn't.

I do love myself. Sometimes I love myself too much. Others not enough but it's an everyday thing. Being mentally ill doesn't mean I have to suffer alone though. I want to kill myself for reasons out of my hands so yes if I find someone who gets it why not try? Not everyone's wanna die reasons are the same. A partial reason for me not wanting to be topside is because this shits lame as fuck if I gotta do it alone while all my friends have loving partners I'm almost 30 I'm tired I'm bored and sick of capitalism. So in sum I wanna kill myself because America sucks and I'm poor and stuck here.

 

[Jamesbond]

I find that a bit selfish personally but each to their own i guess

 

[witchcraft]

I hope things work out for you!

 

[kitkatt]

I find that a bit selfish personally but each to their own i guess

The whole world says it's selfish to kill your self for whatever reason I don't though. Wish you the best though:)

I hope things work out for you!

Thank you!

 

[Jamesbond]

Fair point, i just couldn't personally drag someone into that. It's bad enough for friends and families sometimes.

 

[kitkatt]

Fair point, i just couldn't personally drag someone into that. It's bad enough for friends and families sometimes.

Nobody's asking you to. You can't project your situation and feelings onto someone else's life though. But hey If life stops fucking me and gives me what I want I'll ride this shit out if not well we all know why we're here :)

 

[Ashu]

Fair point, i just couldn't personally drag someone into that. It's bad enough for friends and families sometimes.

It wasn't a problem for me when I was younger. I was always more or less borderline suicidal, and I lived in a community where there were always others like that, and such were my partners. Now, though I'm a brother of the tribe forever, I'm highly unlikely to ever kill myself so long as my wife is alive. But that's just us.

 

[Jamesbond]

Nobody's asking you to. You can't project your situation and feelings onto someone else's life though. But hey If life stops fucking me and gives me what I want I'll ride this shit out if not well we all know why we're here :)

I'm not projecting anything onto anybody. Just expressing my opinion. The whole purpose of a forum like this is for help and discussion. My opinion in my 43 years on this earth is different and that's ok. I think that introducing someone into a situation where you want to take your life is a bad idea. And ultimately unfair on that person if you have intentions to kill your self

 

[bender]

I'm not projecting anything onto anybody. Just expressing my opinion. The whole purpose of a forum like this is for help and discussion. My opinion in my 43 years on this earth is different and that's ok. I think that introducing someone into a situation where you want to take your life is a bad idea. And ultimately unfair on that person if you have intentions to kill your self

Yeah, there's really no argument that can be made against you here man. Not sure why she doesn't seem to get your point.

 

[Jamesbond]

We are all allowed different opinions and we're all free to express them And share them with one another.
I'm saying in my experience i believe it is unfair. Theres no prizes on or winners in suicide ultimately.
Instead of accusing me of projection maybe discuss your reasoning for believing im wrong?

Yeah, there's really no argument that can be made against you here man. Not sure why she doesn't seem to get your point.

Maybe there is mate, personally for me and past experiences I don't believe it's fair, although I get the craving for love and affection. It's weird how some people just go off on others here simply because we don't agree about things?
Maybe there are middle grounds people have found that worked for them and between us we could figure some shit out that the doctors obviously can't. But closing down the discussion because we disagree is just ridiculous regardless

It wasn't a problem for me when I was younger. I was always more or less borderline suicidal, and I lived in a community where there were always others like that, and such were my partners. Now, though I'm a brother of the tribe forever, I'm highly unlikely to ever kill myself so long as my wife is alive. But that's just us.

Has your mental health improved over the years mate? If so any advice? Do you mind me asking what you suffer with?

 

[kitkatt]

I'm not projecting anything onto anybody. Just expressing my opinion. The whole purpose of a forum like this is for help and discussion. My opinion in my 43 years on this earth is different and that's ok. I think that introducing someone into a situation where you want to take your life is a bad idea. And ultimately unfair on that person if you have intentions to kill your self

Projection isn't really the right word my bad. What I meant was your personal experiences and feelings with relationships while suicidal will influence how you view this. But in your opinion all people who deal with life long suicidal ideations should remain alone forever? Keep in mind some people have lifelong ideations and never commit/succeed as well. I don't think that's very fair but you have your opinion and I have mine lol I'm sure there's threads on here that are more in line with your thinking though! But I'm not gonna close myself off from a facet of life everyone else gets to enjoy because I'm ill. I've also literally said if I have a partner I'm happy to continue living because again I don't want to really die I just don't want to suffer for ever especially alone. Also nobody ever said you were wrong my guy. Just like you are sharing your opinions I'm sharing mine we don't have to like or agree about them! A good phrase I've seen is "opinions are like assholes everyone's got one and they all stink"

 

[Jamesbond]

I

Projection isn't really the right word my bad. What I meant was your personal experiences and feelings with relationships while suicidal will influence how you view this. But in your opinion all people who deal with life long suicidal ideations should remain alone forever? Keep in mind some people have lifelong ideations and never commit/succeed as well. I don't think that's very fair but you have your opinion and I have mine lol I'm sure there's threads on here that are more in line with your thinking though! But I'm not gonna close myself off from a facet of life everyone else gets to enjoy because I'm ill. I've also literally said if I have a partner I'm happy to continue living because again I don't want to really die I just don't want to suffer for ever especially alone. Also nobody ever said you were wrong my guy. Just like you are sharing your opinions I'm sharing mine we don't have to like or agree about them! A good phrase I've seen is "opinions are like assholes everyone's got one and they all stink"

can sort of understand your point but ultimately unless you meet a very strong person who can switch off those emotions it's going to be very hard on them,
Even with friendships long term, eventually people will distance themselves because it's so emotionally draining.
It might be different for you but as I've aged my mental health has deteriorated a lot.
But I've been on antidepressants since I was about 12. I sort of maintained relationships up to a point where I realised that everyone I got with was becoming a lesser version of themselves because of absorbing my problems. For me personally I've found myself distancing myself from people in general as I don't want to be "that guy" who is the burden or the reason for ruining someone's day. For me personally it's detrimental to my own health. But I also see the flip side and still believe it's selfish of me to become involved with someone when my mind is constantly telling me to kill myself. (It took me a very long time to realise that, and even longer to accept it)
I still miss the affection and love and you're right everyone deserves that. But still for me personally i disagree.
If there was more support as a whole in society that might sway my opinion. But im as guilty as anyone else for that and ended up with my nan hanging herself trying to cope with looking after my grandad who had dementia.
I was too busy living my own life, much like the services are overloaded now, say the OP got with someone, killed herself, and her partner had a breakdown. Who supports them afterwards.
I get your point but in my opinion you almost have to become selfless in order to protect other people.
Thats why this forum should exist and it should be more openly discussed because I'd say most of us either feel suicidal most days or have been impacted by a friends suicide.

Projection isn't really the right word my bad. What I meant was your personal experiences and feelings with relationships while suicidal will influence how you view this. But in your opinion all people who deal with life long suicidal ideations should remain alone forever? Keep in mind some people have lifelong ideations and never commit/succeed as well. I don't think that's very fair but you have your opinion and I have mine lol I'm sure there's threads on here that are more in line with your thinking though! But I'm not gonna close myself off from a facet of life everyone else gets to enjoy because I'm ill. I've also literally said if I have a partner I'm happy to continue living because again I don't want to really die I just don't want to suffer for ever especially alone. Also nobody ever said you were wrong my guy. Just like you are sharing your opinions I'm sharing mine we don't have to like or agree about them! A good phrase I've seen is "opinions are like assholes everyone's got one and they all stink"

No not all opinions stink at all, your not wrong about my Asshole though lol you don't want burst haemorrhoids…ever.

 

[kitkatt]

I

can sort of understand your point but ultimately unless you meet a very strong person who can switch off those emotions it's going to be very hard on them,
Even with friendships long term, eventually people will distance themselves because it's so emotionally draining.
It might be different for you but as I've aged my mental health has deteriorated a lot.
But I've been on antidepressants since I was about 12. I sort of maintained relationships up to a point where I realised that everyone I got with was becoming a lesser version of themselves because of absorbing my problems. For me personally I've found myself distancing myself from people in general as I don't want to be "that guy" who is the burden or the reason for ruining someone's day. For me personally it's detrimental to my own health. But I also see the flip side and still believe it's selfish of me to become involved with someone when my mind is constantly telling me to kill myself. (It took me a very long time to realise that, and even longer to accept it)
I still miss the affection and love and you're right everyone deserves that. But still for me personally i disagree.
If there was more support as a whole in society that might sway my opinion. But im as guilty as anyone else for that and ended up with my nan hanging herself trying to cope with looking after my grandad who had dementia.
I was too busy living my own life, much like the services are overloaded now, say the OP got with someone, killed herself, and her partner had a breakdown. Who supports them afterwards.
I get your point but in my opinion you almost have to become selfless in order to protect other people.
Thats why this forum should exist and it should be more openly discussed because I'd say most of us either feel suicidal most days or have been impacted by a friends suicide.

No not all opinions stink at all, your not wrong about my Asshole though lol you don't want burst haemorrhoids…ever.

I'm not the type to lay the whole weight of my mental illness onto someone. Friends and partners aren't my therapist and I do my best to learn how to cope and express my needs to them. People who care about you want to be there for you in an appropriate capacity otherwise they wouldn't be there. But it is our responsibility to maintain healthy relationships with them! My mental health wildly swings from one extreme to another due to a childhood full of trauma and it's absolutely gotten worse with age older I get more shit I find wrong. I get that being vulnerable with people is hard especially when your brains a dick and social standards say men shouldn't have outward feelings. That's a tough situation to go through for sure. I'm unfortunately well acquainted with death as my mother was very suicidal and my father enjoyed hurting animals. Also I am the op? and you can definitely be selfless if that's what works for you! But for me I feel better and get my sim bar filled enough to wanna keep playing when I have friends and a partner to phrase it goofily this forum should exist so suicide and mental illness can become less taboo. You aren't shamed or treated poorly when you have cancer why should you be if you're mentally ill? I don't know I feel like the most positive negative person out there sometimes lol
Nah opinions are a spectrum between like and dislike depending on who's listening I suppose! Oh man RIP to your butthole if you burst a hemorrhoid