Daily Disassociation

[IntelligentLeg]

Anyone else deals with it daily? My brain turns into auto mode multiple times a day. & every time my dude gaslights/emotionally abuses me, I zone out. I can't keep living like this. Life is so exhausting.

 

[BlindedLox]

Its a daily occurrence for me. It used to be a lot like yours where it felt like auto pilot, but over time with my own worsening mental health its greatly impacted my language processing, communication and memory. I feel trapped in my own body most days.

Grounding excercises do help a lot, but theyre not always a guaranteed fix if your external environment is bad and you cant easily leave.

 

[IntelligentLeg]

Its a daily occurrence for me. It used to be a lot like yours where it felt like auto pilot, but over time with my own worsening mental health its greatly impacted my language processing, communication and memory. I feel trapped in my own body most days.

Grounding excercises do help a lot, but theyre not always a guaranteed fix if your external environment is bad and you cant easily leave.

That's how I am now. I almost seem to kind of stutter. I can't think of the right words a lot. I can't remember most things. It's exactly that...I can't just leave. I'm stuck and I feel it's getting worse by the day at this point.

Its a daily occurrence for me. It used to be a lot like yours where it felt like auto pilot, but over time with my own worsening mental health its greatly impacted my language processing, communication and memory. I feel trapped in my own body most days.

Grounding excercises do help a lot, but theyre not always a guaranteed fix if your external environment is bad and you cant easily leave.

What's a grounding excercise?

 

[Life_and_Death]

i was dissociated for several years straight (without it going off). depersonalization and derealization. everything was basically black and i wasnt connected to anything. ive only been coming out of it the last couple months - a year.

 

[BlindedLox]

That's how I am now. I almost seem to kind of stutter. I can't think of the right words a lot. I can't remember most things. It's exactly that...I can't just leave. I'm stuck and I feel it's getting worse by the day at this point.

What's a grounding excercise

Its hard when it reaches that point. I'm sorry, it sounds like youre in an awfully abusive situation. Abusers will frequently take advantage of that, and it can be hard to regain agency when it feels like you cant even communicate at all. If you ever get the opportunity? I would leave as soon as you can.

Grounding excercises are a theraputic tool for tackling dissociation but can also be useful for those with anxiety and PTSD. Theres a lot of different ones, but they are meant to help the person become more grounded and present in their surroundings, with the goal of easing symptoms. Given from what you told me about your situation I wouldnt reccomend trying those sorts of things till youre away from your partner, but if youre interested in looking into them they might be of some use.

 

[IntelligentLeg]

Its hard when it reaches that point. I'm sorry, it sounds like youre in an awfully abusive situation. Abusers will frequently take advantage of that, and it can be hard to regain agency when it feels like you cant even communicate at all. If you ever get the opportunity? I would leave as soon as you can.

Grounding excercises are a theraputic tool for tackling dissociation but can also be useful for those with anxiety and PTSD. Theres a lot of different ones, but they are meant to help the person become more grounded and present in their surroundings, with the goal of easing symptoms. Given from what you told me about your situation I wouldnt reccomend trying those sorts of things till youre away from your partner, but if youre interested in looking into them they might be of some use.

I did leave for a year. I had/have nobody else. I'd be homeless. It sucks..when I ctb ill be leaving my 9 month old to be raised by him. I'm so tired. Physically mentally. I asked for a break from being a sahm. Just a few hours..I hadn't had a break at all the whole 7 months.( This was 2 months ago) He slammed me against the wall and started throwing objects at me. Which he does at least once a week. called me lazy and a shitty mother etc..
I'm not allowed to ask for a break. That plays over and over in my head "I'm not allowed to ask for a break" Thats around the time when my brain started going on auto mode.

 

[BlindedLox]

I did leave for a year. I had/have nobody else. I'd be homeless. It sucks..when I ctb ill be leaving my 9 month old to be raised by him. I'm so tired. Physically mentally. I asked for a break from being a sahm. Just a few hours..I hadn't had a break at all the whole 7 months.( This was 2 months ago) He slammed me against the wall and started throwing objects at me. Which he does at least once a week. called me lazy and a shitty mother etc..
I'm not allowed to ask for a break. That plays over and over in my head "I'm not allowed to ask for a break" Thats around the time when my brain started going on auto mode

Okay, that crosses a line into some pretty intense physical abuse and especially with a child involved? I dont know your whole situation, but I would actually recommend you look into some domestic violence resources for yourself and your child. A lot of places can help provide safe and secure housing, both temporary and long term. They can also provide you medical and legal assistance (including mental healthcare) as well as with child care. Since I dont know where youre at, I cant provide anything more direct. But if youre in the US your state should have a website dedicated to getting you in touch with resources for people in your exact situation. If you live close to a YWCA they are a really cool organization I would recommend.

Seperating from an abusive partner can be a scary process. Dissociation drives me nuts, but it happens because your brain is trying to protect you, and in this case it is from a very real threat to you.