M

millefeui

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2018
1,034
I want to die, so I can have peace. My mind is my biggest enemy. It is not that I hate life, I just hate this life. My life.
 
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D

Delilah

Member
Jun 14, 2018
11
I want to live but I seem to be drawn to suicide. I try harder to die than I try to live.
 
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shinitai

shinitai

Member
Jun 28, 2018
24
or are there those that want to live really ?? I want to live, a condition forces me wanting to die else I really want to live -just a condition thats stopping me enjoying life !!
I never asked to be born. I don't want to think anything, I don't want to feel anything. I want to return to the nothingness. Hell doesn't even bother me anymore.
 
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DownInaHole

DownInaHole

Not so wise
Jan 4, 2019
216
I don't want to die but I can't handle life. I have to die. CO. I'm afraid of what happens in the afterlife.
I've just lost everything in the world I care about plus I have cancer so yea dieing is the best option for me


Cannabis concentrates kill cancer cells.
 
Roger

Roger

I Liked Ike
May 11, 2019
972
It seems to be widely understood that many suicidal people do not want to be dead, but they see it as the only way of escaping some awful, unbearable circumstances in their life. That's me.
 
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Milly Fenn

Milly Fenn

Member
May 5, 2019
7
I adore and am fascinated by life and nature. I do however loathe living in a society with constant demands and pressures. So, not necessarily want to die, but if it gives me peace, that would be nice.
 
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Fadinglife

Fadinglife

Student
Apr 16, 2019
109
Today was the final straw. I lost myself as well. Nothing else to live for. There are very small may bes but i am quite certain it would come to that same result. I want out, if possible today, i would. My situation forces me to wait for opportunity which may never appear, so i may have to endure tormenting existence and seek refuge in my trapped mind and by blocking out everything by music.
 
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Misanthrope

Misanthrope

Mage
Oct 23, 2018
557
Cannabis concentrates kill cancer cells.

Although that is technically true some context would also help. I would hate for @Karlala or anyone else to be misinformed. Otherwise, there is the danger of driving desperate people towards charlatans and miracle cures that have no proven statistical value as an actual cure. On a site such as this, I can't let that go unchallenged. Apologies if you take this as an attack it is not meant as one. I am sure you were just trying to be helpful.

So some context. Yes it does kill cancer cells in very specific instances that are still being explored. In those studies though it is often combined with standard treatments like chemotherapy and involves a very small sample size. The jury is out on what this all even means though. It is exciting, but there is nothing yet conclusively useful there for the mainstream. Some cancers have also been shown to grow further from cannabinoids. Again they are busy wading through what that all even means. Considering it any kind of cure though is jumping the gun and rolling the dice on what mostly consists of anecdotal evidence. Some of that 'evidence' originating from a sloppy journalist and the subject of that piece went on to eventually die of cancer in the end. If you would like me to magic up the energy to cite sources so you can look at the crunchy science and atrocity of journalism for yourself I will do so.

Remain sceptical.

Peace.
 
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Weems

Weems

Experienced
May 5, 2019
204
What Schopenhauer said about how suicide is a life-affirming act seems right to me.

In a way, now at my sickest, I'm at my healthiest. Being suicidal, I've recognized: I was wrong. I've made a terrible string of mistakes. I want a good life; it seems I can't have it; so I despair. I would have been much more likely to say "Life is pointless, I don't care if I die today" before, when I was happier.
 
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DeepMind

DeepMind

Member
Mar 26, 2019
61
Actually I want to live but some health issues make it really difficult.
 
ExitTheDay

ExitTheDay

We fight to live or live to die
May 26, 2019
336
I do not want to die at all, all I want to know is why the world we live in is such a horrible place, then maybe I will finally understand what it's like to live a happy and fulfilling life
 
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S

Sailfisher

F’ing A
Apr 19, 2019
282
Second chances or changes in circumstances would be preferable to dying, but I don't know if that's possible, so...
 
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U

Username786

Member
May 4, 2019
17
In an ideal world I would have my health back. I could fix a lot of my other problems if that happened. But life isn't a movie, and sometimes bad things happen for no reason. After years of trying, it's clear I won't get better, and my life now is one of isolation and chronic pain. I'm tired, and death is my only realistic way out. Thanks to this forum, isn't so terrifying anymore.
 
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sad_frog

sad_frog

Member
May 21, 2019
97
or are there those that want to live really ?? I want to live, a condition forces me wanting to die else I really want to live -just a condition thats stopping me enjoying life !!
Oh yes I would love to live! I've tried suicide many times but I've always found myself struggling to stay alive during the attempt. After I recover from the panic I feel like dying again... Those two intense feelings of "I WANT TO DIE" & "I DON'T WANT TO DIE" leave me so confused...
I truly believe, deep down, everyone WANTS to be alive they just don't want the pain/struggles they were unfortunately given. Plus I feel like all we have is our lives!(unless you believe in an afterlife, I don't personally)
The reason I joined this site was because I wanted to be able to talk about these suicidal ideations that I cannot seem to control to others who have experienced similar situations without fear of being shamed or suddenly being shipped away to a mental hospital for a week.
We're here for you<3
 
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GeorgeJL

GeorgeJL

Enlightened
Mar 7, 2019
1,621
I plan on living then I will take my life with a painless method at the end. Hopefully I'll live to be an old man before peacefully going out. But if my health worsens then I might have to pull the plug early.
 
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M

Mysterymeat

Member
May 24, 2019
41
If I can somehow get adequate treatment for my disorder and be financially secure I wouldn't consider suicide as much. Unfortunately the likelihood of that happening is a snowball's chance in hell.

I've attempted probably like 20+ times so I'm still here cause I really want to prepare and make my attempt my actual last.
This is my exact situation. I'm trying but I'll probably end up killing myself and next time it must be successful. It's nice to talk to people who understand suicide and be somewhere I can make peace with death.
 
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Marz

Marz

À PEU PRÈS
Aug 3, 2018
170
Now my mom and brother are going to depend on me helping them economically so as of now I can't. If we get more stable and they can stand being without my economic support I'll do it. Or reversibly, if I am not able to help out I'll also do it.
 
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sunny.sativa

sunny.sativa

organic
Apr 2, 2019
317
This probably sounds silly, but only sometimes. I've made a post before about having borderline, it comes and goes.

Some months I wake up everyday with a profound lust for life and every opportunity it has to offer.

Some weeks I wake up and consider shotgunning a bottle of aspirin.
 
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KnightOfEnceladus

KnightOfEnceladus

Lost child in time
May 20, 2019
231
I'd prefer to live, but it has to be in a life that won't drive me insane. And I am in a very very very bad situation right now, one that will end in homelessness or worse most likely. My method arrives on Tuesday, and I just need to sneak enough saved money so that I can afford a hotel room. I want to go out talking with my girlfriend online if possible. If not I'll have to let her know ahead of time, and I have somewhere else to go if necessary, but I can't risk discovery. I only get the one shot at this.

Would I have preferred to live? Yes. Can I live? The way things are going, it'd be worse than death. I believe I'm ready for the journey, and will steadfastly refuse to reincarnate on the other side. Everything is One, everything emanates from "God"/Source/The Ground of All Being/The Absolute. I've learned enough. It's time to go Home, forever.
 
LastFlowers

LastFlowers

the haru that can read
Apr 27, 2019
2,170
I wouldn't say I actually WANT to die, but I don't want to live like THIS. Since "THIS" is proving to be permanent, death is the lesser of two evils. I don't feel like it's a choice so much as a decision. Especially when there's only two options, live in hell, or don't live at all.
 
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A

Anchors

Member
May 2, 2019
73
No I don't want to die, I want to be happy but that seems impossible. My condition stops me being able to do what I love or even find peace in my mind. I wish I could make proper connections with people but I don't think I was cut out to have friends. If I was happy and could be the person I want to be I wouldn't want to die. But that person is forever out of reach.
 
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dreamsofdestruction

dreamsofdestruction

Everywhere I look is chaos
May 9, 2019
340
I would really prefer to continue living, it feels bad to throw it all away for several reasons. But it has just become unbearable and there continue to be setbacks and not much progress. If I had put in more effort earlier maybe it could all have been turned around.
 
ExitTheDay

ExitTheDay

We fight to live or live to die
May 26, 2019
336
It's not really the fact that I want to die, I just do not want to survive while it feels like I'm suffering anymore, I would love to live a long happy and healthy life but it's really up to time at this point to see if that will ever happen
 
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
I want to live a good life

and havent been able in years.... im trying again... if not,.,, then N
 

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