Discussion CTB'ing at home where your family will find your body?

[trynacbt]

I've come to the conclusion that ctb'ing at home is my best option. The alternative would be in a hotel overseas, but that would require a family member to come bring my body back to my home country, and I don't want to add that stressor, though it would avoid my family having to happen upon my body.

Is anybody else planning to ctb in a situation like this, where your family would find you? What are your feelings/thoughts about it?

I've lived with depression for 3 years now and my family members know I've had suicidal thoughts (I used to ask them to help me do it, in moments where I was especially distressed and understood little to nothing about suicide). They've done all they could to help me get better, including letting me come home countless times and paying for treatment. So this wouldn't be a 'surprise' per say, but at the same time they believe I've gotten better and of course something like this would be traumatizing for anyone.

This is the only way I can go, really, but I guess I just want to get these thoughts out there and see how others feel. Thanks in advance...

 

[Thanatos]

I too will ctb at home. As you said they will see your body no matter what(either finding you or going to retrieve/confirm the body)

 

[trynacbt]

Thank you for responding, @Thanatos ... bumping this

 

[Avery Jordan]

No need to go overseas. At your home town motel is good enough.

 

[Sweet emotion]

If you feel safest at home then do it at home. This is your life and you need to do what you have to do. It sounds like you have a wonderful family. Just make sure you're going to be alone long enough to CTB because you don't want anyone finding you in the middle if it and then you wind up waking up in a mental institution. That always scares the hell out if me. I hope you find peace.

 

[trynacbt]

Thanks so much, @Sweet emotion , for sure being found is a worry of mine, but if I do it in the middle of the night and I'm quiet enough, I don't see why anyone would check on me. I'm debating on whether I should lock the door or not. Not sure yet.

@Avery Jordan, unfortunately that isn't an option for me, because my family members would be suspicious--I have no reason/alibi for going to a motel.

 

[a_strange_day]

It's difficult to answer because everybody is different and it depens a lot on how you get along with your family. I don't have any family left but I I did and I was still living with my parents then I wouldn't do that at home. I couldn't stand the thought of my mother or father coming home and finding my lifeless body, it would have been devastating for them. I think it would be easier for them to be first informed by a third party of my passing than find the body by themselves. Just my opinion though.

 

[trynacbt]

It's difficult to answer because everybody is different and it depens a lot on how you get along with your family. I don't have any family left but I I did and I was still living with my parents then I wouldn't do that at home. I couldn't stand the thought of my mother or father coming home and finding my lifeless body, it would have been devastating for them. I think it would be easier for them to be first informed by a third party of my passing than find the body by themselves. Just my opinion though.

Being informed by a third party would definitely be the ideal. I'm not sure I can swing it that way, but I agree...

 

[Gamja]

Also doing at the comfort of my home, spending one's final moments in a familiar environment. I'm worried about my mother's reaction so I thought about hotel or airbnb, but that would only draw more attention and involve more people.
I would love to have a nice trip alone, going on vacation and then ending it, but yeah, the cost of transportation would be too much to bear...

All the best to you.