CTB thoughts out of habit?

[Jessi76]

Since April of this year, I have had CTB thoughts and the desire for CTB every day due to a trigger. But the reason no longer exists and my life has improved a lot. But the thoughts and desire for CTB remained. Sometimes he is stronger, sometimes weaker.
Do you think it's possible that you can get so used to CTB thoughts and desires that it's difficult to get rid of them? That I have had the thoughts and the really serious desire for so long and it has simply become a part of me, so that they are still there, even if my life situation has changed? Somehow the idea really concerns me and seems almost logical...

 

[Life_and_Death]

i cant speak for your specific situation but for your overall question, yea

i have bpd and with that comes chronic suicidality. im suicidal even when im "not"

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I was passively suicidal for many years, after I failed in life and my situation permanently declines. This year everything declined rapidly and I'm actively suicidal. Thinking about CTB almost 24/7 for most of the year but since everything settled at a very low level and no additional bad things happened to me the CTB thoughts are fading away. Most likely you have a chance they become less, as your personal situation that caused them got better for you. If they ever go away - that was sth I thought about a while ago - the suicidal thoughts may never disappear completely anymore even if a situation gets better when the depressive episode was to long and too deep.

 

[Jessi76]

I was passively suicidal for many years, after I failed in life and my situation permanently declines. This year everything declined rapidly and I'm actively suicidal. Thinking about CTB almost 24/7 for most of the year but since everything settled at a very low level and no additional bad things happened to me the CTB thoughts are fading away. Most likely you have a chance they become less, as your personal situation that caused them got better for you. If they ever go away - that was sth I thought about a while ago - the suicidal thoughts may never disappear completely anymore even if a situation gets better when the depressive episode was to long and too deep.

I'm so sorry to hear that such bad things happened to you that brought you to such a low point. I really hope that everything falls into place again.

Most likely you have a chance they become less, as your personal situation that caused them got better for you. If they ever go away - that was sth I thought about a while ago - the suicidal thoughts may never disappear completely anymore even if a situation gets better when the depressive episode was to long and too deep.

Maybe you are right. I really wanted to die at that time. A serious attempt at the night-night method failed and I felt compelled to stay alive until I found a method that was not too cruel and at least somewhat safe. Maybe that's what left a deep mark on me. I've always had CTB thoughts from time to time, but this time they were more than just thoughts. Above all, I have now gotten SN and it passed the aquarium test... I could actually go if I wanted to... Very likely THAT is exactly my problem, among other things