CTB sooner than planned

[PlasticFace]

Haven't been on here in a while. I just finally got to live on my own for the first time in a while and I've been really anxious about someone sending a wellness check on me. I think I'll buy a week-long stay in a hotel just to get away. I don't really plan on staying the whole week but it's a precaution. The paranoia sets in, and I get these intense bouts of uncontrollable fear like someone is watching me.

I wanted to finish some things before I CTB but can't risk another setback. Maybe I'll figure something out and CTB in the hotel, I don't know. I have no clue what I'm doing but I don't wanna be here anymore.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be so horrible dealing with that fear, I hate how we exist in a world where suicidal people have to fear such a thing as receiving wellness checks, it's so awful how humans always feel a need to interfere and just make existing more unbearable for others. But anyway I wish you the best with your plans.

 

[Letgo]

Good luck in whatever you decide to do. I hope you find peace.

 

[Aisley]

Really too bad someone messed with your schedule. Doesn't really matter how well meaning, does it? Not when they have no idea how much pain, constantly. Maybe in the hotel your head can clear up, some. Just getting away. Or maybe tell your friend you're gonna live with your dad for a few weeks, and do some catching up, so they don't come around your house?

 

[WaffleWoman]

I wish you luck and peace in whatever you decide to do

 

[TapeMachine]

Has someone suggested that they might contact "help" (wellness check) on you? Did something happen, or is the paranoia something that simply happens from time to time?

I sure have missed seeing you around the forum, man. I've been hoping you were doing well, perhaps enjoying things a little. I'm sad to see that you suddenly feel pressured to act on your ctb sooner than you'd initially planned.

I recently felt similar, like I was cornered and needed to act on my ctb immediately (which was sooner than planned). I didn't end up going through with it though. But the panic I felt during that time was monumental, catastrophic. It hurts me to imagine that you are feeling similarly right now...

Please pm me if you feel like it. I'm here for you, no matter what you decide to do. ❤

 

[Aisley]

Has someone suggested that they might contact "help" (wellness check) on you? Did something happen, or is the paranoia something that simply happens from time to time?

I sure have missed seeing you around the forum, man. I've been hoping you were doing well, perhaps enjoying things a little. I'm sad to see that you suddenly feel pressured to act on your ctb sooner than you'd initially planned.

I recently felt similar, like I was cornered and needed to act on my ctb immediately (which was sooner than planned). I didn't end up going through with it though. But the panic I felt during that time was monumental, catastrophic. It hurts me to imagine that you are feeling similarly right now...

Please pm me if you feel like it. I'm here for you, no matter what you decide to do. ❤

Idk if he caught you up or anything, but just through the discussion forum, it's been a shitty few months. He worked up the courage to go grocery shopping or smth, and a fucking tornado happened, forcing everyone into a shelter room. Then a friend got worried and forced herself into his home, babysiting him for weeks. Apperently she finally left, but she might be back anytime. Hair raising shit, all of it. A fucking tornado, man.

 

[TapeMachine]

Idk if he caught you up or anything, but just through the discussion forum, it's been a shitty few months. He worked up the courage to go grocery shopping or smth, and a fucking tornado happened, forcing everyone into a shelter room. Then a friend got worried and forced herself into his home, babysiting him for weeks. Apperently she finally left, but she might be back anytime. Hair raising shit, all of it. A fucking tornado, man.

Thank you for the update.

Fuck, I hate that all of that happened...what a nightmare..

 

[hipsnake]

I hope whatever choice you choose brings you happiness