ctb in the forest is making me nervous

[cakedog]

I genuinely don't know how people can just go alone and ctb there specially at night
it isn't my ideal location but it's the only available one
i just get creeped out by the idea of getting attacked by animals or by shady people which is ironic since i'm about to kill myself but i just don't know i just get these thoughts when i'm doing nothing on my bed but during the day which is where the bad things happen i just don't care and just want to go through with it
I'll leave my belongings to my brother so i don't really care about what happens to me after i drop them at his grandparents house but sadly i'll still be alive really wish my sentience/consciousness ended there too

i guess maybe i just want to continue to be in this state during my death my current place isn't my ideal but it's semi-ideal but after months of thinking i just can't visualize any other method and location and my intrusive thoughts heavily prevent from researching more and i know they will bring me back to ctb in the forest anyways since that seems to be my only way out
will also have to wait a few hours for evening since there are some rural workers and being lobotomized is one of my biggest fears so i don't want anyone to find me hanging and try to ""save"" me also think i'll just get random anxiety attacks or hallucinations since that place just feels very alienated and
i've never really liked rural areas to begin with but i specially dislike the ones here, they just make me feel nauseous and uncomfortable

anyways sorry for the long boring post just wanted to vent a little

 

[Exhausted546]

I genuinely don't know how people can just go alone and ctb there specially at night
it isn't my ideal location but it's the only available one
i just get creeped out by the idea of getting attacked by animals or by shady people which is ironic since i'm about to kill myself but i just don't know i just get these thoughts when i'm doing nothing on my bed but during the day which is where the bad things happen i just don't care and just want to go through with it
I'll leave my belongings to my brother so i don't really care about what happens to me after i drop them at his grandparents house but sadly i'll still be alive really wish my sentience/consciousness ended there too

i guess maybe i just want to continue to be in this state during my death my current place isn't my ideal but it's semi-ideal but after months of thinking i just can't visualize any other method and location and my intrusive thoughts heavily prevent from researching more and i know they will bring me back to ctb in the forest anyways since that seems to be my only way out
will also have to wait a few hours for evening since there are some rural workers and being lobotomized is one of my biggest fears so i don't want anyone to find me hanging and try to ""save"" me also think i'll just get random anxiety attacks or hallucinations since that place just feels very alienated and
i've never really liked rural areas to begin with but i specially dislike the ones here, they just make me feel nauseous and uncomfortable

anyways sorry for the long boring post just wanted to vent a little

Where else would you prefer to do it? I'll do it in the woods, it's not a forest but there's a lot of trees. I've been procrastinating these past 3 nights. I might end up doing it tonight,maybe not but I feel like it's quite private. It was better than all the other alternatives imo.

How far is the forest from your place?

 

[Crematoryy]

I believe forests are a very esoteric environment, and I would like to die in a place that conveys peace. Have you considered other alternatives ? I also have the vision of walking alone in the woods while I'm there to die. I just wouldn't want to do it at home. How about traveling to the beach and drowning in the sea?

 

[cakedog]

Where else would you prefer to do it? I'll do it in the woods, it's not a forest but there's a lot of trees. I've been procrastinating these past 3 nights. I might end up doing it tonight,maybe not but I feel like it's quite private. It was better than all the other alternatives imo.

How far is the forest from your place?

Ideally i would like to do it in my room but it's not going to be possible so i'll just have to do it in the woods
the forest is just a 10 minute drive from where i am so it's reachable

I believe forests are a very esoteric environment, and I would like to die in a place that conveys peace. Have you considered other alternatives ? I also have the vision of walking alone in the woods while I'm there to die. I just wouldn't want to do it at home. How about traveling to the beach and drowning in the sea?

i don't live near the beach and drowning looks like an awful way to go i have considered abandoned buildings since i would like to do it in an urban area but there aren't any where i live

thanks for your posts btw guys
i feel much calmer now it's comforting to know at least i'm not alone