T
tootired4life
Member
- Mar 7, 2023
- 8
dude sorry everyones being kinda bitchy, youre not less valid for not wanting to die fully, you're just tougher and more emotionally intelligent.
This is called a suicidal gesture and this is what most people want according to some studies. A suicidal gesture is a false act of suicide where the user doesn't fully want to die - instead they just want to attract attention by being discovered in the act of suicide so that the people in their lives will finally care about them or offer support to them. If this is what you really want, it's essential that you pick a method that is low on the lethality scale (so that you don't die) and to perform the act in a way that doesn't leave you permanently injured afterwards to the extent that you wouldn't be able to cope with it. It will also be important to ensure that you are discovered in a timely manner. Death is forever so I wouldn't recommend actively seeking it out unless you truly and irrevocably want it. No one can stop you from performing a suicidal gesture, but I'd personally advise against it because there is always a chance that you will actually die. If you want to live, I think it would be better to exhaust all options and seek help (whether it's from friends or family or from a professional) rather than risk your own physical health or safety in an activity that will be inherently risky. There is also no guarantee that the people in your life will respond the way you would want them to in response to your suicidal gesture. You might want your folks to spend more emotionally intimate quality time with you for example, but instead they might react in disgust or might try to distance themselves further from you for example.I just don't think I want to stop living.Hell,I don't even think I've ever wanted to die.All I want is someone to find out ig.I want to know that someone actively cares for me,I want to know that they are worried and they hope the best for me.All I want is to finally be able to open up,to tell everyone how I've been feeling all these years and just let everything out.But it's so hard.I have no god damn clue on how to accomplish that.Even writing this here,in a place where no one knows me,makes me feel like complete shit.Every word I say makes me feel even more and more weak,stupid and disappointed on myself.I don't know how to tell anyone any of this with words,I think I would be too much of a coward for that.Thats why I always hoped that my ctb would fail terribly,but its so risky to try,what if I end up permanently injured,or actually just dying??? I don't want to stop living,but feels like that's the only way for me to get the attention I seek for.
bro i understand you entirelyI just don't think I want to stop living.Hell,I don't even think I've ever wanted to die.All I want is someone to find out ig.I want to know that someone actively cares for me,I want to know that they are worried and they hope the best for me.All I want is to finally be able to open up,to tell everyone how I've been feeling all these years and just let everything out.But it's so hard.I have no god damn clue on how to accomplish that.Even writing this here,in a place where no one knows me,makes me feel like complete shit.Every word I say makes me feel even more and more weak,stupid and disappointed on myself.I don't know how to tell anyone any of this with words,I think I would be too much of a coward for that.Thats why I always hoped that my ctb would fail terribly,but its so risky to try,what if I end up permanently injured,or actually just dying??? I don't want to stop living,but feels like that's the only way for me to get the attention I seek for.
This is really fascinating, kinda changed the way I viewed myself. Do you have any of these studies, or are you going off memory. I'd be interested to know more.This is called a suicidal gesture and this is what most people want according to some studies. A suicidal gesture is a false act of suicide where the user doesn't fully want to die - instead they just want to attract attention by being discovered in the act of suicide so that the people in their lives will finally care about them or offer support to them. If this is what you really want, it's essential that you pick a method that is low on the lethality scale (so that you don't die) and to perform the act in a way that doesn't leave you permanently injured afterwards to the extent that you wouldn't be able to cope with it. It will also be important to ensure that you are discovered in a timely manner. Death is forever so I wouldn't recommend actively seeking it out unless you truly and irrevocably want it. No one can stop you from performing a suicidal gesture, but I'd personally advise against it because there is always a chance that you will actually die. If you want to live, I think it would be better to exhaust all options and seek help (whether it's from friends or family or from a professional) rather than risk your own physical health or safety in an activity that will be inherently risky. There is also no guarantee that the people in your life will respond the way you would want them to in response to your suicidal gesture. You might want your folks to spend more emotionally intimate quality time with you for example, but instead they might react in disgust or might try to distance themselves further from you for example.
Thank you! I'm glad you found it informative. It's much more common to want to make a suicidal gesture rather than commit suicide and it's nothing to be ashamed over. As for the studies, I'm going off of memory and what I've read because I read a lot on the topic, but one notable statistic is that failed suicide attempts drastically out proportion those that are successful. I think this is because many of them are impulsive and half-hearted where people feel stuck and really are pleading for help and can't bring themselves to seek out that help in a more rational way. https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/means-matter/means-matter/survival/This is really fascinating, kinda changed the way I viewed myself. Do you have any of these studies, or are you going off memory. I'd be interested to know more.
Well said! I feel like Hollywood has turned suicide into something it's not. As much as I'd love to have my perfect 13 Reasons Why daydream script play out after my death where everyone suddenly loves me, that's just not what happens.Just, suicide attempts won't give you the results that play out in your head. People don't think what you want them to. Cuz they're stupid, and way more selfish than you expect them to be. Usually.
This is really fascinating, kinda changed the way I viewed myself. Do you have any of these studies, or are you going off memory. I'd be interested to know more.
dude sorry everyones being kinda bitchy, youre not less valid for not wanting to die fully, you're just tougher and more emotionally intelligent.
wow,i didn't there was an expression for that.Its exactly how I've been feeling,you just described it perfectly.But I do agree with you,I don't think trying ctb to fail is a very great idea,even tho that doesn't mean that I don't consider it as an option sometimesThis is called a suicidal gesture and this is what most people want according to some studies. A suicidal gesture is a false act of suicide where the user doesn't fully want to die - instead they just want to attract attention by being discovered in the act of suicide so that the people in their lives will finally care about them or offer support to them. If this is what you really want, it's essential that you pick a method that is low on the lethality scale (so that you don't die) and to perform the act in a way that doesn't leave you permanently injured afterwards to the extent that you wouldn't be able to cope with it. It will also be important to ensure that you are discovered in a timely manner. Death is forever so I wouldn't recommend actively seeking it out unless you truly and irrevocably want it. No one can stop you from performing a suicidal gesture, but I'd personally advise against it because there is always a chance that you will actually die. If you want to live, I think it would be better to exhaust all options and seek help (whether it's from friends or family or from a professional) rather than risk your own physical health or safety in an activity that will be inherently risky. There is also no guarantee that the people in your life will respond the way you would want them to in response to your suicidal gesture. You might want your folks to spend more emotionally intimate quality time with you for example, but instead they might react in disgust or might try to distance themselves further from you for example.
it's so good to know that I'm not the only one with this trouble:)bro i understand you entirely
tysm for your words,and just everyone in generalhey my love. if u dont want to die, please dont attempt to ctb. its a really permanent decision. i assure you that people do care, even if its just through a virtual forum. i would urge you to seek help, its not too late. if it ever gets too much, you could "attempt" (do something that won't work and then call for help or message a lifeline service) so that people know. that would be my last resort but its better than actually trying to ctb. you matter, and you dont have to die to prove it <3
damn,so sorry to hear about that,it's really sad.Also,I didn't really know about some of those consequences,so ty for sharing your experience to me and everyone,at least for me it would've been pretty tough.Well said! I feel like Hollywood has turned suicide into something it's not. As much as I'd love to have my perfect 13 Reasons Why daydream script play out after my death where everyone suddenly loves me, that's just not what happens.
@Soohey Ive attempted 4 times and the worst part was always the recovery.
• If you keep it to yourself, you sit in the pain of knowing you failed and that nothing changed: you won't get the attention you want.
• If you get help during the attempt, you get hospitalized (whether is be necessary for survival or inpatient) and it's just really boring. Even if you do get attention, you'll be dealing with the negative effects of your attempt and people treat you very odd. It's like when you aren't in on an inside joke and nobody will tell you what it is. Sometimes people get in a mentally worse state than you (my father couldn't even speak, just sat and shook his leg) and sometimes they don't know what to say so they seem unfriendly. You aren't going to get a trip to Disneyland, but you will get fed up! The only "I love you"s during my whole experience was from me trying to calm everybody else down despite the fact that I was the one in the hospital bed. AND THIS IS A POSITIVE OUTCOME.
• If you get help and don't need hospitalization/aren't sent to impatient you will quickly learn that the system is fucked. Everything costs money and everything is going to continually go up in price as time goes on. I guess this depends on country, but in the US you are going to be feeling that change in your wallet, and not the good kind. Also, quite unfortunately, people only really respond as intensely as you are hoping for when you are hospitalized or dead.
jesus christ,that sounds so horrendous,I hope you can find peace with wathever you do,and tysm for being so empathetic and even sharing your experience:)i feel the same way right now. Last year i was going to ctb, but i told my psychologist and things didnt really change for me. Since i didnt go through it my family didnt think anything of it. I wasnt even institutionalised or anything. I really feel like doing this time but god, the process of fixing whats left of my life seems so hard. I think that is what is pushing me and might be pushing you. I understand u OP