The Crybaby
Thanks a lot, Asperger’s syndrome
- May 9, 2024
- 14
Hey all,
I backed out a few months ago from ctb, my situation got worse from there and is not looking like it is going to improve. My compulsions are getting stronger and my depression is starting to consume me. I have no future and no one that I can talk to about this without scaring them. I spent a little over 3 weeks planning and might be ready to finally do this tomorrow.
I have 3 plans and want another opinion.
Plan 1 involves me jumping off of a bridge.
I take a rideshare to an area by a bridge and river, then walk to the bridge.
There is a forested area by the bridge, I have to walk through it. Immediately after exiting the forest, I make a right and run. You see, this bridge is not an ordinary bridge. This bridge is for one of the busiest freeways in my country. Trust me, no one would stop. I run about 200 ft on the shoulder and jump into the river.
I die about 6:30pm, around sunset.
My main concern is over my phone, which I would have to use for the rideshare. However, I could simply leave my phone at home and factory reset it immediately after getting the rideshare. Tbh my phone being checked post-mortem sounds scary. I have no way of giving context to stuff on it.
Plan 2 involves me stabbing myself.
It really is simple, a few stabs in my stomach. I soak my bed in blood as I remove my innards until I literally can not anymore.
I know how low the success rate for this is. I am also a huge coward. This might not kill me.
Plan 3 involves good ol' SN
Taking SN by itself.
Buying it off of A which means I would have to buy it now and wait for it to arrive. I should have bought it sooner, however I can still buy it tomorrow and get it over with in a few days.
I backed out a few months ago from ctb, my situation got worse from there and is not looking like it is going to improve. My compulsions are getting stronger and my depression is starting to consume me. I have no future and no one that I can talk to about this without scaring them. I spent a little over 3 weeks planning and might be ready to finally do this tomorrow.
I have 3 plans and want another opinion.
Plan 1 involves me jumping off of a bridge.
I take a rideshare to an area by a bridge and river, then walk to the bridge.
There is a forested area by the bridge, I have to walk through it. Immediately after exiting the forest, I make a right and run. You see, this bridge is not an ordinary bridge. This bridge is for one of the busiest freeways in my country. Trust me, no one would stop. I run about 200 ft on the shoulder and jump into the river.
I die about 6:30pm, around sunset.
My main concern is over my phone, which I would have to use for the rideshare. However, I could simply leave my phone at home and factory reset it immediately after getting the rideshare. Tbh my phone being checked post-mortem sounds scary. I have no way of giving context to stuff on it.
Plan 2 involves me stabbing myself.
It really is simple, a few stabs in my stomach. I soak my bed in blood as I remove my innards until I literally can not anymore.
I know how low the success rate for this is. I am also a huge coward. This might not kill me.
Plan 3 involves good ol' SN
Taking SN by itself.
Buying it off of A which means I would have to buy it now and wait for it to arrive. I should have bought it sooner, however I can still buy it tomorrow and get it over with in a few days.
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