Venting crippling anxiety and overstimulated

[Skyyyfarer 26]

I'm just so irritable and anxious lately. I'm scared all the time and god knows for what reason
My trichotillomania is also flaring and i can't stop constantly picking at my nails so much that people are starting to point at my hands and ask it I hurt my fingers somehow
I am not attending any of my courses but today we had a compulsory seminar so i went to my uni and the entire time I felt like bashing my head because people kept trying to talk to me and I also felt incredibly guilty because they were just being normal and asking regular stuff about me and i left early because i felt like i couldn't breathe inside the auditorium because people kept trying to talk to me
I just hate being alive and suffer constantly like this
I have only one friend from uni that I used to talk to but lately I just hate her because i cannot stand the thought of having a conversation with someone because everyone is doing so much better because we are at the end of our course about to graduate and i feel like i wont be able to because I feel physically ill for having to go outside my room and I have no chances of getting a job either because of my debilitating mental and physical health

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be so awful and tiring having to suffer like that, existence really is too unnecessarily cruel. But anyway I wish you the best.