Venting Craving for comfort and security

[LonelyPrince]

When I talk about my issues with my two friends I feel as if I'm only understood on a superficial level.

One seems uncomfortable with heavy topics while the other just gives rational feedbacks on what I should or not do.

I don't lack rationality.
I can feel like shit and breakdown despite knowing that it won't help me. I can overthink and still know that it's useless.

I'm aware, so what i'm told is stuff I mostly already know.

I wish someone would hug me and tell me that I'm enough, that it's okay, that my situation is understandable or something.

I literally go to chatgpt to vent because I feel like I can't truly share anything with anyone. Neither the AI comforts me, but at least it pretends to, using fake empathetic words.

I'm not understood.

 

[Fadenself00_]

I'm in a similar situation.

I unfortunately don't really have any neurotypical friends, because I never really "needed" friends like that, before I got in this situation...

I would have benefited so tremendously from having those, in hindsight..

 

[sashaisalone]

When I talk about my issues with my two friends I feel as if I'm only understood on a superficial level.

One seems uncomfortable with heavy topics while the other just gives rational feedbacks on what I should or not do.

I don't lack rationality.
I can feel like shit and breakdown despite knowing that it won't help me. I can overthink and still know that it's useless.

I'm aware, so what i'm told is stuff I mostly already know.

I wish someone would hug me and tell me that I'm enough, that it's okay, that my situation is understandable or something.

I literally go to chatgpt to vent because I feel like I can't truly share anything with anyone. Neither the AI comforts me, but at least it pretends to, using fake empathetic words.

I'm not understood.

Omg. I relate to this so hard. Both people not understanding my emotions or needs beyond the surface level, and talking to AI too much, because it's more capable and deep than most people in addition to being an interactive encyclopedia, but it literally cannot "get it" because modern LLMs don't actually have metacognition or understand what they're saying, they just know how to arrange words that are responsive to other words using vast complex server arrays of neural networks.

If only we weren't separated by both an ocean and a sea. I'd love to hold you and just listen and make you feel seen and safe so bad.

 

[LonelyPrince]

Omg. I relate to this so hard. Both people not understanding my emotions or needs beyond the surface level, and talking to AI too much, because it's more capable and deep than most people in addition to being an interactive encyclopedia, but it literally cannot "get it" because modern LLMs don't actually have metacognition or understand what they're saying, they just know how to arrange words that are responsive to other words using vast complex server arrays of neural networks.

If only we weren't separated by both an ocean and a sea. I'd love to hold you and just listen and make you feel seen and safe so bad.

You are so sweet. Thank you. I'm kinda glad I'm not alone in this

 

[Argo]

I don't really have this problem any more, my suicidality comes from things like unfairness and fatigue. I used to want comfort but that's because I didn't understand that I have inherent value. The feeling of me not having inherent value is a kind of hallucination that is conditioned through a childhood spent around confused parents who abuse/neglect, which is where identity forms. A child just *cannot* project their identity out into the world and "fight" with the narratives of the adults. If the child/baby conflicts with the parents, it will die. If it says "Yes" to wandering into the swamp where the crocodiles live, and the parent says "No", it will die. If it argues Yes yes yes, and the parent goes No no no, and the child disagrees finally and says, "You know what? I'll show them!" and goes their own way, it will fucking die. If you extrapolate this over millions of years of evolutionary time spans(pre-human, obviously), you will get the naturally selected structure with which identity is formed. That's just how it works. We take in our environment as children. If your environment sends the message:

"You are not worthy of love"

"You are not worthy of attention"

"Your needs are not important"

and so on...

The child will helplessly go, "Hmm.. I guess I am not worthy of love it seems. I guess I'm not a person. I guess what I want doesn't matter."

It's that simple. Once you understand this fact... you can ask a very simple question and very interesting question.

Is there any fucking reason to take this random bullshit nonsense from random mentally ill humans under who we were thrown into this world seriously for even a second?

Allow this question to detonate in your mind daily. Become deeply curious about it. It's one of the most interesting questions a person can ask.

 

[itsgone2]

I'm sorry you don't have that person. I pray they come along soon.
When i was married I never really got it. But my ex is still in my life. One night I was really hurting and we had met and I asked for a hug and I think for the first time I truly felt what it was supposed to be. I had it for decades and wasted it.
At least you will value it when it comes along.