COVID is never going to get better.

[lemonandcapers]

I stopped using Reddit for a while, but I went back online today. A post in my feed said something along the lines of "So, is this how I am going to live for the rest of my life?" and details a life of isolation due to taking COVID precautions in a world where nobody takes them anymore. Everyone in the comments said that it was going to be like this for a while. The thought of living life as I am right now makes me want to CTB more than anything.

I wish I could stop caring about COVID like the rest of the world has. However, I have learned far too much information for my own good about the effects COVID-19 infections have on the body. I experienced it for myself when COVID caused me to develop lupus, and after another infection, I broke out into hives and could only walk a couple of steps without being in excruciating pain. If my condition gets worse, and I become too disabled to CTB, I will be stuck in this life forever, so I have to care.

It is exhausting to let my guard down and allow myself to have fun outside of the four walls that are my room, but another COVID wave arrives. Back into my room I go until the two months of the year when I don't have to fear going outside!

My heart breaks hearing people get reinfected over and over, new stories popping up of medical issues arising from repeat infections. It is even more painful when it hits close to home in the form of my best friend ranting about not being able to afford surgery for a sinus issue caused by a COVID infection, or my mom becoming ill every single month.

The stares and dirty looks I receive for wearing a mask in 2025 make me feel more alien than human. Even from family, my existence is enough to prompt arguments. I'm the irrational one that should be committed to the highest level of mental institution, at least in their eyes.

And when I tell Reddit that I am suicidal because of this, what do they say? "Channel that energy into helping others". I took that to heart and burnt myself out because of it, and my mental health is worse. They also tell me to seek community with other people who take COVID seriously, but when I have nothing in common with them and they are all twice my age, how do I connect? I don't even like people there in a way where I would want to be friends with them. Even when I do go to events where people mask, I don't get enough satisfaction from it that would justify the endless void that is the rest of my life.

 

[finalgoodbye:(]

OCD?

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Tbh there were many severe respiratory infections floating about prior to Covid, we just didn't really name them, and lumped them together under some form of cold/the flu. But there were reports a decade ago or more of people showing up to the ER with busted lungs and scar tissue as well as other complications. It's pretty much always been a crapshoot as far as what you'll catch and whether you'll be unlucky enough to contract something that'll do lasting damage.

Are there any decent support groups for long Covid? From what I gather, most people did contract it at some point but didn't sustain permanent injury, but I imagine things are pretty much hell for those who did. It sounds a bit 'out there' that you can develop lupus from Covid though - are you sure that's the case?

Either way I'm sorry you're going through this. Sounds beyond awful.

 

[Douggy82]

Extreme health situations are awful

 

[misanthropemurder]

OCD?

They probably have some kind of contamination ocd, sounds like hell. Not the subtype that I have but I hope they get better.

I stopped using Reddit for a while, but I went back online today. A post in my feed said something along the lines of "So, is this how I am going to live for the rest of my life?" and details a life of isolation due to taking COVID precautions in a world where nobody takes them anymore. Everyone in the comments said that it was going to be like this for a while. The thought of living life as I am right now makes me want to CTB more than anything.

I wish I could stop caring about COVID like the rest of the world has. However, I have learned far too much information for my own good about the effects COVID-19 infections have on the body. I experienced it for myself when COVID caused me to develop lupus, and after another infection, I broke out into hives and could only walk a couple of steps without being in excruciating pain. If my condition gets worse, and I become too disabled to CTB, I will be stuck in this life forever, so I have to care.

It is exhausting to let my guard down and allow myself to have fun outside of the four walls that are my room, but another COVID wave arrives. Back into my room I go until the two months of the year when I don't have to fear going outside!

My heart breaks hearing people get reinfected over and over, new stories popping up of medical issues arising from repeat infections. It is even more painful when it hits close to home in the form of my best friend ranting about not being able to afford surgery for a sinus issue caused by a COVID infection, or my mom becoming ill every single month.

The stares and dirty looks I receive for wearing a mask in 2025 make me feel more alien than human. Even from family, my existence is enough to prompt arguments. I'm the irrational one that should be committed to the highest level of mental institution, at least in their eyes.

And when I tell Reddit that I am suicidal because of this, what do they say? "Channel that energy into helping others". I took that to heart and burnt myself out because of it, and my mental health is worse. They also tell me to seek community with other people who take COVID seriously, but when I have nothing in common with them and they are all twice my age, how do I connect? I don't even like people there in a way where I would want to be friends with them. Even when I do go to events where people mask, I don't get enough satisfaction from it that would justify the endless void that is the rest of my life.

It sounds like you a dealing with a pretty nasty case of contamination/health OCD. Im really not an expert, but you might want to look into exposure therapy, or CBT. I really do hope you get better, I have OCD myself, I wish you all the best.

 

[sunnyside]

People saying OCD I don't agree
I got covid and have been bedridden ever since
I also read the studies (after I got sick)
Covid is no joke

 

[Ariel1]

I stopped using Reddit for a while, but I went back online today. A post in my feed said something along the lines of "So, is this how I am going to live for the rest of my life?" and details a life of isolation due to taking COVID precautions in a world where nobody takes them anymore. Everyone in the comments said that it was going to be like this for a while. The thought of living life as I am right now makes me want to CTB more than anything.

I wish I could stop caring about COVID like the rest of the world has. However, I have learned far too much information for my own good about the effects COVID-19 infections have on the body. I experienced it for myself when COVID caused me to develop lupus, and after another infection, I broke out into hives and could only walk a couple of steps without being in excruciating pain. If my condition gets worse, and I become too disabled to CTB, I will be stuck in this life forever, so I have to care.

It is exhausting to let my guard down and allow myself to have fun outside of the four walls that are my room, but another COVID wave arrives. Back into my room I go until the two months of the year when I don't have to fear going outside!

My heart breaks hearing people get reinfected over and over, new stories popping up of medical issues arising from repeat infections. It is even more painful when it hits close to home in the form of my best friend ranting about not being able to afford surgery for a sinus issue caused by a COVID infection, or my mom becoming ill every single month.

The stares and dirty looks I receive for wearing a mask in 2025 make me feel more alien than human. Even from family, my existence is enough to prompt arguments. I'm the irrational one that should be committed to the highest level of mental institution, at least in their eyes.

And when I tell Reddit that I am suicidal because of this, what do they say? "Channel that energy into helping others". I took that to heart and burnt myself out because of it, and my mental health is worse. They also tell me to seek community with other people who take COVID seriously, but when I have nothing in common with them and they are all twice my age, how do I connect? I don't even like people there in a way where I would want to be friends with them. Even when I do go to events where people mask, I don't get enough satisfaction from it that would justify the endless void that is the rest of my life.

Build up your immine system. High dose vitamin D. It's actually a hormone, not a vitamin. Its anti-inflammatory.

 

[sick&tired]

People saying OCD I don't agree
I got covid and have been bedridden ever since
I also read the studies (after I got sick)
Covid is no joke

Same here. Covid triggered multiple autoimmune diseases for me and I've pretty much been housebound ever since. People don't understand how devastating it can be for some of us. I'm in my 30s and it literally ruined my life. </3
Needless to say, I totally understand the immense fear of getting sick now.

 

[lemonandcapers]

OCD?

I have diagnosed OCD, but unfortunately, this goes beyond that. I am immunocompromised, and one wrong move can permanently impact me for the worse.

Tbh there were many severe respiratory infections floating about prior to Covid, we just didn't really name them, and lumped them together under some form of cold/the flu. But there were reports a decade ago or more of people showing up to the ER with busted lungs and scar tissue as well as other complications. It's pretty much always been a crapshoot as far as what you'll catch and whether you'll be unlucky enough to contract something that'll do lasting damage.

Are there any decent support groups for long Covid? From what I gather, most people did contract it at some point but didn't sustain permanent injury, but I imagine things are pretty much hell for those who did. It sounds a bit 'out there' that you can develop lupus from Covid though - are you sure that's the case?

Either way I'm sorry you're going through this. Sounds beyond awful.

It is true, unfortunately. Swine flu and the original SARS did similar things. Even things like EBV can trigger ME/CFS. As for whether this is attributed to COVID or not, COVID substantially increases the chances of you getting an autoimmune disease.

People saying OCD I don't agree
I got covid and have been bedridden ever since
I also read the studies (after I got sick)
Covid is no joke

I am so sorry to hear that. Being bed bound sounds awful. I wish you well and slowly hope you are able to recover.

Same here. Covid triggered multiple autoimmune diseases for me and I've pretty much been housebound ever since. People don't understand how devastating it can be for some of us. I'm in my 30s and it literally ruined my life. </3
Needless to say, I totally understand the immense fear of getting sick now.

I'm also sorry to hear that you have gone through something similar. I can't imagine how devastating this has been on your life. I can empathize with being young and going through this as I am 20.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I have contamination ocd so I agree maybe could be that. I used to even wear rubber gloves during the pandemic for various reasons so I had to put up with some weird looks.
But were you like this in anyway before Covid?

Especially if you have lupus, which is an autoimmune disease, do not ever feel guilty for a second about putting on a mask. That's your choice. You even have every right to say that if someone makes a comment or looks at you funny.

One way I'm weird though is that even with my OCD I do not mask much anymore. I'm just not a fan of how hot it it makes me feel.

I actually feel guilty - my mom has cancer so those are the one of the groups it's it's more dangerous for. When I go with her for treatment at a cancer center it says masks are advised but not mandatory. I can't bring myself to put one on and be uncomfortable while I sit there for five hours. But then I feel bad for others who are going through treatment. I'm sure they are grateful for any person that does mask.
But if we go into the general hospital part, I most likely wear one for my protection since being in a hospital makes me feel more unsafe.

And I do kind of get the part how it provokes arguments within family. Because I have the OCD and I was the first one masking during the pandemic and for quite a while after, it was always assumed my OCD was playing a big part. My father would roll his eyes sometimes when I put one on.
And now with the last six months of treatment and more to come for my mother, it is really hard for me between driving myself extra nuts with precautions OCD wise and literally having to be genuinely worried about germs for the sake of my mom's health. Of course I seem to worry more than others do around her.

Yes, at this point, you may be in the minority, but do whatever feels best when you are out of the house. You are entitled to enjoy life too. But I completely get the feeling of wanting to isolate.

I hope your physical condition does improve. Covid after effects are so different for every individual and different every time you repeatedly get it.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I hold two possibly conflicting thoughts in my mind about COVID: First (hear me out), i think it was a giant psychological scam on the whole world. From the very beginning it was known that for the vast majority of people it was very mild, like a cold, or not even noticeable at all. But secondly, that all the common-sense things like washing hands, cleaning door handles, staying away when sick, keeping things clean... totally went out the window already. People who were religiously careful "during covid" (as if it magically disappeared now), are already back to coughing in to the air, picking their nose, touching everything. The world is insane.

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

People saying OCD I don't agree
I got covid and have been bedridden ever since
I also read the studies (after I got sick)
Covid is no joke

Ditto. Although these days its luckily housebound instead of bedridden

I stopped using Reddit for a while, but I went back online today. A post in my feed said something along the lines of "So, is this how I am going to live for the rest of my life?" and details a life of isolation due to taking COVID precautions in a world where nobody takes them anymore. Everyone in the comments said that it was going to be like this for a while. The thought of living life as I am right now makes me want to CTB more than anything.

I wish I could stop caring about COVID like the rest of the world has. However, I have learned far too much information for my own good about the effects COVID-19 infections have on the body. I experienced it for myself when COVID caused me to develop lupus, and after another infection, I broke out into hives and could only walk a couple of steps without being in excruciating pain. If my condition gets worse, and I become too disabled to CTB, I will be stuck in this life forever, so I have to care.

It is exhausting to let my guard down and allow myself to have fun outside of the four walls that are my room, but another COVID wave arrives. Back into my room I go until the two months of the year when I don't have to fear going outside!

My heart breaks hearing people get reinfected over and over, new stories popping up of medical issues arising from repeat infections. It is even more painful when it hits close to home in the form of my best friend ranting about not being able to afford surgery for a sinus issue caused by a COVID infection, or my mom becoming ill every single month.

The stares and dirty looks I receive for wearing a mask in 2025 make me feel more alien than human. Even from family, my existence is enough to prompt arguments. I'm the irrational one that should be committed to the highest level of mental institution, at least in their eyes.

And when I tell Reddit that I am suicidal because of this, what do they say? "Channel that energy into helping others". I took that to heart and burnt myself out because of it, and my mental health is worse. They also tell me to seek community with other people who take COVID seriously, but when I have nothing in common with them and they are all twice my age, how do I connect? I don't even like people there in a way where I would want to be friends with them. Even when I do go to events where people mask, I don't get enough satisfaction from it that would justify the endless void that is the rest of my life.

I'm sorry to hear that. That has a serious impact on how you see things. I'm a longhauler. I'm pretty sure there are more people on here with longcovid or diseases/damage developed because of it, that are young too.

Did you get offered help to try and deal with the fear and the constant pressure of having to be "safe"?

And masks and desinfectant will get you weird looks, yes. Try to remember you're doing it for you, and their choices are theirs, and not a reflection on yours.

 

[avalon_]

COVID wastewater levels are still being measured and published in my country and I can tell you they are very close to zero right now; the graph is almost touching the x-axis.

 

[U. A.]

It sounds a bit 'out there' that you can develop lupus from Covid though - are you sure that's the case?

covid can (and does) lead to any number of horrendous problems in other body systems. thousands and thousands of research papers have been written on it, and the National Academies - one of the preeminent research entities on medicine in the u.s. - finally released last year a comprehensive overview of long covid (link to one page summary screenshotted below):



the fact that the vast majority of people don't know about this isn't a fucking accident. excess mortality and rates of the above-listed health problems increased WAY above baseline predictions from 2020; mostly right after lots of protections were lifted but still to this day. extra people were dying of that diseae, now they die of others cause by it. and while i am fully convinced even if government and media had been forthright from the start on this large numbers of people would still not have given a fuck, a decent amount might be furious that this all is being cause by a virus that freely floats around in the air - which, you may (or may not) recall the World Health Organisation fervently denied was the case right from the beginning and took four years to correct, still years after real scientists who knew the deal harangued them and they admitted the "possibility".

@cemeteryismyhome you remember the fields of mass graves and big rig trailers full of corpses, right? this has been the fifth worst pandemic in human history for fuck's sake. the only "experiment" was seeing how many people they could let die while getting capitalism back to full steam as fast as goddamn possible. in line with the previous, the u.s. CDC initially recommended N95s for all workers dealing with covid patients...and only later on, after being pressured by a u.s. hospital association lobby trying to prevent liability for fsiling to stockpile PPE, changed the guidance to allow use of surgical masks - which aren't tight fitting enough to prevent airborne virus. this is a pattern that goes back hundreds of years. quarantine throttles the economy, which is bad for wealthy capitalists. and "science" can only say what a political administration allows it to say. i don't even need to use the tired example of nazi germany; we can just look at present-day usa lol

there's nothing fucking "ocd" about wanting to avoid getting sick(er) when the medical system that many of us rely on to stay alive has absolutely no interest in helping us; the only motive is extracting profit and we may [or may not, and you never fucking know] suffer anything between indifference to outright harm as a result. jesus christ, the buy-in even people as fucked up as end up in a place like this just doing the APA's missionary work of propagating oppressive DSM diagnoses is absolutely unbelievable - y'all are aware homosexuality was officially one of its codified psychiatric disease until the fucking 70s (and even longer in its precursors), right? holy fucking fuck. psychiatry literally invents and modifies "mental disorders" as it sees fit to oppress people who display "problematic" behaviour [don't even think about coming at me saying i'm invalidating mental illness; that is NOT what i'm saying].

god, sorry the first reply to this was so fucking flippant and invalidating op. hope you're ok, it's rough out there.

 

[benjamind2020]

Literally planning to die because my hearing keeps trying to get worse. If it's not right it's left and if it's not left it's right.

My body seriously betrays me one more time then it pays the ultimate price.