Could I please have some help? Would this gun do the job?

[Celerity]

I see a therapist and psychiatrist, but I'm struggling to find any medication for anxiety or depression that would work for me without worsening other issues.

You can message me. I'm sorry if I'm slow to reply myself.

Medications have taken the edge off in the past, notably Seroquel, but I could not tolerate it for long. It has a lot of nasty side effects. What are your reasons for wanting to commit suicide? Perhaps your therapist's approach is not a good fit.

 

[Okami]

Medications have taken the edge off in the past, notably Seroquel, but I could not tolerate it for long. It has a lot of nasty side effects. What are your reasons for wanting to commit suicide? Perhaps your therapist's approach is not a good fit.

Chronic, severe pain, financial issues, feeling like a burden on others, and fear of the future, mostly. I also believe that I'll go somewhere better after death.

 

[Celerity]

Chronic, severe pain, financial issues, feeling like a burden on others, and fear of the future, mostly. I also believe that I'll go somewhere better after death.

I'm sorry. That's a lot of issues therapy is truly unequipped to handle. It makes sense that it hasn't been working. Do you have a pain management doctor? What exactly is causing your chronic pain if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Okami]

I'm sorry. That's a lot of issues therapy is truly unequipped to handle. It makes sense that it hasn't been working. Do you have a pain management doctor? What exactly is causing your chronic pain if you don't mind me asking?

I don't currently have a pain management doctor, but I'm looking into it.

I suppose I'll give a warning in advance that my physical issues could be considered gross or uncomfortable. I don't know; I always feel inclined to give a heads-up before talking about my symptoms.

The symptoms started really showing themselves when I was a teen, but there were signs even before then. My digestive system is really messed up, and most foods cause me a lot of issues and pain.

My biggest problem currently is my bladder. It really doesn't function properly. I've had to go to the hospital countless times due to retaining dangerous amounts of urine, and it's gotten to the point where I need a catheter at pretty much all times. But I have unfortunately experienced malpractice with doctors and nurses, with them not putting in the catheters correctly or offices/hospitals getting inexperienced nurses to catheterize me. And as a result, I believe I have permanent bladder damage.

My bladder is incredibly sensitive; even just laying or sitting in the wrong positions causes me awful pain. I have regular awful spasms, and on the occasions where my catheters stop working and I have to try to urinate on my own for a short period, it feels like I'm being stabbed. And the damage has also caused the monthly catheter exchanges to be indescribably painful. It's horrible.

Recently, the hospital I go to for my monthly exchanges has been struggling to remove my catheters. I have a large bladder stone that they suspect is getting in the way, but I'm worried that there might be scar tissue that could be making it difficult, as well. I'm supposed to get the stone removed soon, and I'm going to bring up that concern with my urologist, but I just feel so hopeless. I can't live the rest of my life like this.

(Sorry if I messed anything up; I'm not used to sending stuff on here.)