consistently unstable

[themisfell]

I think the hardest thing about my life is that I just cant force myself to be stable. It's so miserable. Sometimes I'll go days-- months sometimes without any type of episode, but then it'll just hit and I hate everyone and want everyone away from me and can't trust anything and it makes me miserable, so miserable. It's a consistent cycle in my life and I just don't know what to do...

 

[Abyss Dweller]

I'm sorry if I'm really far away from a good advice but can't it be simply that you are an introvert? You need some time alone from time to time to recharge. Point I'm trying to make is maybe it's completely fine to be fed up with everyone from time to time and take a few days off from people and things. :)

 

[themisfell]

I'm sorry if I'm really far away from a good advice but can't it be simply that you are an introvert? You need some time alone from time to time to recharge. Point I'm trying to make is maybe it's completely fine to be fed up with everyone from time to time and take a few days off from people and things. :)

to clarify, unstable meaning some days im probably how I'd envision being "normal", then other days im convinced everyone in my life hates me and I want to cut them off and then go on vacation in japan or something. its bipolar through and through but unfortunately understanding it doesnt make it any less miserable.

 

[Abyss Dweller]

to clarify, unstable meaning some days im probably how I'd envision being "normal", then other days im convinced everyone in my life hates me and I want to cut them off and then go on vacation in japan or something. its bipolar through and through but unfortunately understanding it doesnt make it any less miserable.

Sorry to hear that I'm dealing with Pure O and in a similar boat that I understand it (or at least I think I do) but it doesn't really help. :(
Have you tried seeking professional help? Sorry it's just if it is bipolar (or you have been diagnosed and it is clearly is) then my guess is we are kind of out of our depths.

A trip to Japan sounds lovely though :D Been there once was a highlight of my life even though I got sick during the trip.

 

[themisfell]

Sorry to hear that I'm dealing with Pure O and in a similar boat that I understand it (or at least I think I do) but it doesn't really help. :(
Have you tried seeking professional help? Sorry it's just if it is bipolar (or you have been diagnosed and it is clearly is) then my guess is we are kind of out of our depths.

A trip to Japan sounds lovely though :D Been there once was a highlight of my life even though I got sick during the trip.

I've been to Japan before too, I meant it more as an example of impulsive and irresponsible spending haha. A more recent example I guess would be spending $230 on league of legends...

I've considered professional help but its very difficult to get where I live. Plus, my biggest fear is that it doesnt help and I end up getting put on a list for nothing.