A lot of opinions of mine, mostly a criticism on the things i don't understand or feel insecure/ Threatene d about are casually written below. Not an interesting read but you can see the Tldr.
Each new day is bringing a worse side of me. I am now a literal definition of sick, scumbag, asshole, weirdo etc. My actions in the past few months, going to be a year soon, make me feel like i want to puke ( Puke, quite literally ). I was wrong to have fought the way of things, i should've killed myself but i did not. I don't regret not killing myself but i do regret not doing anything to change my situation. An entire year of being alone inside a room, dependent on my family just to get back at them, get back at any and all people that interfered in my life, i now decimated my own good life. I am crying almost everyday, i am feeling great headaches everyday, i am scared about my future considering i sabotaged my career. I did not take admission in any colleges and now everybody's ahead of me. I used to be indifferent these things but now i am in envy. That's because i used to at least have myself but now, i have lost myself. i don't even know what to do in a life except for eat, sleep, be lazy etc.
I even stopped posting on this website because i don't know anyone here and i am too much in my own head to be able to form a good relationship with people. i can't even do that with real people right now. This site started to feel like a chore eventually. so did posting and ranting here. I masturbated last night and edged today then watch
Each new day is bringing a worse side of me. I am now a literal definition of sick, scumbag, asshole, weirdo etc. My actions in the past few months, going to be a year soon, make me feel like i want to puke ( Puke, quite literally ). I was wrong to have fought the way of things, i should've killed myself but i did not. I don't regret not killing myself but i do regret not doing anything to change my situation. An entire year of being alone inside a room, dependent on my family just to get back at them, get back at any and all people that interfered in my life, i now decimated my own good life. I am crying almost everyday, i am feeling great headaches everyday, i am scared about my future considering i sabotaged my career. I did not take admission in any colleges and now everybody's ahead of me. I used to be indifferent these things but now i am in envy. That's because i used to at least have myself but now, i have lost myself. i don't even know what to do in a life except for eat, sleep, be lazy etc.
I even stopped posting on this website because i don't know anyone here and i am too much in my own head to be able to form a good relationship with people. i can't even do that with real people right now. This site started to feel like a chore eventually. so did posting and ranting here. I masturbated last night and edged today then watch
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