It could be being an Incel the non hateful one, having a narcissist parent and a father that only had a son to become his servant coupled with anger issue, and some relatives that hates you for a reason you don't know of, lastly having a sly and cunning grandparent, a type of people that would missed you if your far away from them, is that all, being isolated since a kid until now, also being forced to do something you hate like going to school, I've intentionally skip classes whilst the teacher's are discussing I would either do some push ups on the hallway or nothing, it wouldn't take for too long to a teacher sporting me on a staircase having an exercise, from that time on they would think nothing of it but as defiance, later on the school they would include special education section for the disabled as they called it, and ohh no I messed up no one knows that I've been there before a special education class, somehow they came to the conclusion themselves that I'm person with special needs, you can notice the shift in behavior and how they treat you I felt like I'm a subhuman, this one particular person even make a remark about I belong to that special class, I was being ostracized, I could just stay on in my world, that's it I couldn't think of nothing else maybe there are many things I've missed out, having a brain fog sucks, forgive me if my English is broken I didn't invest enough time from an early young age to being fluent at a second language 
, at this time I would try and disinhibit my mind and body through meditation so I can lower or disabled my SI, drinking alcohol would be easier but I think it will messed things up, that's all
, at this time I would try and disinhibit my mind and body through meditation so I can lower or disabled my SI, drinking alcohol would be easier but I think it will messed things up, that's all
