coming back from this state of mind ?

[bjop]

Hi, this might be a dumb question, already asked or without any answer. Maybe i'm just looking to see if anyone shares this frustrating realization i've had these last few years.

Anytime i've been seriously considering and trying to recover i've always hit the same wall. How do you forget about suicide? How do you erase this automatic thinking that it doesn't really matter if you can get better anyway because, by being dead, you wouldn't even exist to contemplate the fact that you could've gotten better? (i do believe that there is absolutely nothing after death, no reincarnation, no heaven, no conservation of the soul or conscience: just non existence)

Even when i want to believe people telling me that things can get better, that with just a bit of effort and will to live from my part i could do something with my life, maybe even be happy who knows, i find myself not really wanting to try. Cause what's the point? There is relief in the idea that i wouldn't even have to ask myself all these questions if i was just dead. I wouldn't even be able to regret my decision. I simply wouldn't be. The certainty of death and the absence of consequences just completely eradicates the want to live a happy life, that isn't even determined.

Has anyone ever find a way to overcome this habit of the mind, a way to forget all about this mental reflex and go back to a time where the easiest answer to every single issue or decisions in life wasn't suicide? Or do other people find themselves stuck in the same mindset?

I know i'm probably asking for the impossible, and even if there was actually something that could be done, the same reflex would probably just outdo it. Why change to be able to get better when simply killing myself would "fix" everything, meaning i would'nt have to deal with anything. Don't know if i'm too pessimistic or too lazy, or probably both haha

Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope your day is going as good as it can go.

 

[FuneralCry]

Maybe this thread is better suited for the recovery section, if you want advice of how to no longer feel suicidal, as I doubt that people who don't want to die anymore will be viewing the suicide discussion.

But I don't really think that you are being pessimistic or lazy, I view it as being perfectly logical wishing to cease existing, as life is completely futile, pointless and we are all destined to die anyway. All that life is, is just a worthless temporary distraction from this fact and I view existence as being completely unnecessary. I could never wish to exist here no matter what, the thought of existing doesn't appeal to me and could never do. Only the thought of non existence appeals to me as there are no disadvantages to being dead.

 

[bjop]

Maybe this thread is better suited for the recovery section, if you want advice of how to no longer feel suicidal, as I doubt that people who don't want to die anymore will be viewing the suicide discussion.

But I don't really think that you are being pessimistic or lazy, I view it as being perfectly logical wishing to cease existing, as life is completely futile, pointless and we are all destined to die anyway. All that life is, is just a worthless temporary distraction from this fact and I view existence as being completely unnecessary. I could never wish to exist here no matter what, the thought of existing doesn't appeal to me and could never do. Only the thought of non existence appeals to me as there are no disadvantages to being dead.

You're right. I wasn't sure in which section to post this, but now reading how i worded it, i can see how it would be more relevant in the recovery discussion. Maybe i was also looking for reassurance that others (actively suicidal people) felt the same way.
Thank you for taking the time to answer it none the less. And i appreciate reading your point of view on existence.

 

[trist]

i can relate. i've never really actively tried to 'get better' because i see absolutely no point in doing so and it feels impossible to revert my nihilistic mindset.