Venting Chronic pain

[IsolatedChaos]

I hope this is the right forum to post this under, correct me if I mis-categorized, also excuse me if I make spelling/grammar mistakes, as the title says, I'm in extreme pain right now.

It hurts a little to look at the screen but I really need to just let it all out for a second. I hate it. I fucking hate it. Every single aspect of my life had fallen apart this year, including my pains getting worse to a point of dysfunction that I am insanely ashamed of, and it won't. Fucking. Stop. My insurance won't help me despite 3 years of back-and-forth with experts (that I went to *through* the insurance as well, meaning they have full, protocol proof, signed by the insurance itself, that help is necessary) and I am currently in such immense pain.
Been trying to take care of my depression and suicidal thoughts to the best of my ability, and guess what? The new SSRI I was prescribed, which is also the only one I can take, is currently making my pre-existing pain even worse, and it's considered risky taking literally the entire list of painkillers that actually help me a little while on it! It's not a complete no-no, but it's a "consult your doctor and get direct permission and careful use". Wouldn't that be lovely if I didn't need to take it at least once a week?

I want to die. I want to die so bad. This is torture and I see no way for it to get better. I'm too fucking young for this. I should have gone to college. I should have chased after my dreams. Instead I am literally just laying here in pain. Nothing more. My mind is understimulated and my heart (metaphorically) aches. I'm not quite sure what to do right now, I just felt the need to come here and say: it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it fucking hurts.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand just wanting to be gone, it's so cruel and dreadful to me how there's all this pain in existing, it really sounds like you've suffered a lot. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[IsolatedChaos]

I really understand just wanting to be gone, it's so cruel and dreadful to me how there's all this pain in existing, it really sounds like you've suffered a lot. But anyway I wish you the best.

Thank you, I appreciate that

 

[easypeasy]

I hope this is the right forum to post this under, correct me if I mis-categorized, also excuse me if I make spelling/grammar mistakes, as the title says, I'm in extreme pain right now.

It hurts a little to look at the screen but I really need to just let it all out for a second. I hate it. I fucking hate it. Every single aspect of my life had fallen apart this year, including my pains getting worse to a point of dysfunction that I am insanely ashamed of, and it won't. Fucking. Stop. My insurance won't help me despite 3 years of back-and-forth with experts (that I went to *through* the insurance as well, meaning they have full, protocol proof, signed by the insurance itself, that help is necessary) and I am currently in such immense pain.
Been trying to take care of my depression and suicidal thoughts to the best of my ability, and guess what? The new SSRI I was prescribed, which is also the only one I can take, is currently making my pre-existing pain even worse, and it's considered risky taking literally the entire list of painkillers that actually help me a little while on it! It's not a complete no-no, but it's a "consult your doctor and get direct permission and careful use". Wouldn't that be lovely if I didn't need to take it at least once a week?

I want to die. I want to die so bad. This is torture and I see no way for it to get better. I'm too fucking young for this. I should have gone to college. I should have chased after my dreams. Instead I am literally just laying here in pain. Nothing more. My mind is understimulated and my heart (metaphorically) aches. I'm not quite sure what to do right now, I just felt the need to come here and say: it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it fucking hurts.

I have chronic pain but I'm not depressed but ready to ctb on pain alone. I suggest weening on those tablets that increase your pain asap. Which country are you in?

 

[dontwakemeup]

Would you like to share what medications you are taking? It seems your doctors aren't working together to help you. I suffer from chronic pain but I never feel I'm not part of these decisions. Maybe it's time for them to do a medication review. I'm sorry you're in so much pain. I usually sleep to stop the pain when it's unbearable.

 

[IsolatedChaos]

Would you like to share what medications you are taking? It seems your doctors aren't working together to help you. I suffer from chronic pain but I never feel I'm not part of these decisions. Maybe it's time for them to do a medication review. I'm sorry you're in so much pain. I usually sleep to stop the pain when it's unbearable.

I rather not get into it too much because it's a whole paragraph of things we've tried. Seriously, we've tried everything in terms of medicine. There is currently only one medication (when taken with another) that helps me a little but even that's not enough sometimes. Sadly that medicine doesn't mix with the only other options I seem to have when it comes to what I need mentally. My doctors have really tried to do their best on that part, it's really just that this is one of those cases where there's no good way to mix it, which is exactly why I'm begging for my insurance to help me move on to the next phase of treatment, because the medicine route isn't enough.
I need other forms of treatment but it seems like I am simply not going to get them.

Sometimes I manage to sleep but other times it just hurts too much and it wakes me up.

 

[dontwakemeup]

It's ok, I was trying to understand. They say doctors know best, I'm assuming there isn't more options available. Hopefully, you're insurance will cover it soon or they will figure something different put. I hope your day is better better.