Help Chloroquine + 100mg Diazepam

[Spiko]

[QUOTE="JadedGray,
[/QUOTE]

Do you think, when your mother would not have found you, that you would be dead now?

 

[JadedGray]

Absolutely. The doctors said that I should have died and that it one of the worse ODs they had seen (although I live in a small town and they aren't used to dealing with this sort of thing). In fact they were expecting me to and even told my parents to expect the worse and start making funeral arrangements. They kept asking after, if I believed I had a higher purpose for being here because they think it was some kind of miracle (obviously not for me). It was 6 months of planning, saving and prepping all for nothing.

The worse part is that the cops stayed by my hospital room waiting for me to die so that they could kick my mom and dog out of our home because they kept saying it was a crime scene even though I left a suicide note and I have had previous attempts. There were a ton of cops and paramedics because nothing ever happens in this town and a suicide attempt is a big deal apparently. It sucks because I know in the future I won't be able to make another attempt at home or they would kick my mom out with my dog and they would have nowhere to go unless my dad took them in (which isn't likely).

I should mention though, that a couple of the cops were nice enough to drive both my parents to the hospital when it happened despite my father living in a different town 30 minutes away.

 

[Donewith_]

Unfortunately I can't be of much help because I have absolutely no memory of it at all. This is actually the first time this has ever happened to me, even though I've been in a coma before. I believe it stems from permanent cognitive decline and slight brain damage because of it. To this day I still have little short term memory. All I remember is waking up in the ICU a week later. I can only go by what medical staff and my mother, who found me say. I remember saving up the stuff, but can't remember taking it at all, almost 6 months later. I wrote down everything I took ahead of time to make sure I had everything when the time came. I took 60mg of Metoclopramide, 800mg of Tagamet, 8gm of Amitriptyline, 300mg of Diazepam, and 450mg of Zopiclone. I only took a stat dosage of the Metoclopramide and Tagamet. I also downed a 375ml bottle of Vodka, though I don't know how much I actually drank before I passed out, but I was told the bottle was found empty along with all the pill bottles, so I must have got everything down before I lost consciousness. Supposedly I didn't throw up, so the recommended dosage of anti-emetics worked. My mother said I was convulsing when she found me (unfortunately I don't know exactly how long after I took it this would have been but my mom says that I probably left my room and collapsed in the front hallway 2 hours after I went in my room (I took everything as soon as I went in there and closed the door but I somehow in a barely conscious state was able to get out of my bed walk to the door, open it and walk to the front hallway before collapsing). By the time the paramedics got there I was blue and I had to be given defibrillation as I had gone into cardiac arrest. They had to do thorough blood work to figure out what I took because I purposely took the labels off of all the pill bottles. I also made sure to crush the Diazepam and Zopiclone into powder beforehand along with the Amitriptyline, which was in capsule form, so I emptied every capsule and poured the powder into pill bottles. I had to be kept on a ventilator for a week as I couldn't breathe on my own. I ended up having an allergic reaction to the antidote and ended up with rashes all over my body (which still haven't completely healed) and the hand where they inserted the IV completely swelled up and turned red (they said it looked like a lobster claw), the skin on it was also peeling off and to this day it still looks red and swollen and covered in scars and what looks like a chemical burn. When I gained consciousness I had trouble walking and moving around and had to use a walker for the 2 weeks I was there (1 week in the ICU and 1 week in the recovery unit). I had no strength and my chest hurt a lot. I also had a viral infection from being incubated and lost my voice and all feeling in my tongue. I had to be on antibiotics for about a month but eventually I regained feeling in my tongue and my voice came back. Luckily I was able to be discharged and not sent to the psych ward because my parents talked them out of it, since I've already been many times and it's never been a help and also because the 72-hour hold had expired. Once I got home I regained my strength and was able to move without any problems. The only long term consequences are occasional irregular heart beat and sharp chest pain (which I take Aspirin for) and the neurological issues like short term memory loss and decreased cognitive abilities (although I can still function pretty much the same). Sorry for the long post, I wanted to make sure I didn't forget anything.

I would like to one day obtain my medical records from the hospital so I can read about everything that happened, as far as symptoms I was experiencing while in a coma. I was able to do that for a previous overdose on opiates and benzos that also left me in a coma.



See my post above. :)

Thanks for sharing all this. This is really helpful to me.. I can't say how much. It gave me an idea of what i can expect in my attempt.It is scary that you are conscious after downing all those benzos.. how can that happen? Why did you use zopiclone ? It isn't mentioned in the cocktail right or did you use it as a substitute for short acting benzos?when did you attempt if I may ask .. you said tagamet stat dose was 800 gms, but now it's 2gms. Also what was your weight at that time? Dosage depends on it too. Sorry if am showering you with doubts.. but I hope you can help. Thanks.

 

[JadedGray]

Thanks for sharing all this. This is really helpful to me.. I can't say how much. It gave me an idea of what i can expect in my attempt.It is scary that you are conscious after downing all those benzos.. how can that happen? Why did you use zopiclone ? It isn't mentioned in the cocktail right or did you use it as a substitute for short acting benzos?when did you attempt if I may ask .. you said tagamet stat dose was 800 gms, but now it's 2gms. Also what was your weight at that time? Dosage depends on it too. Sorry if am showering you with doubts.. but I hope you can help. Thanks.

You're welcome. I'm glad it could be of some help, at least my failure is good for something. I'm not sure how I could still be conscious since I have no memory of actually taking the stuff. I wouldn't have even known I had unless I had regained consciousness in the hospital and the medical staff and my mom reminded me what happened, along with what I had written down. I just used Zopiclone because I already had the presciption and since it's a sleeping pill I thought it would help make sure I didn't regain consciousness before I went into cardiac arrest. I've been on sleeping pills and benzos for years so I kind of have a high tolerance, although I've never taken high doses except when I made suicide attempts in the past. I didn't have any short acting benzos as I tend to react quickly to meds and pass out quickly from large doses of Diazepam. I made the attempt probably around midnight and my mom said she found me around 2 AM. It was about 6 months ago. I wasn't aware that the Tagamet dosage had changed. I based my information on a combination of last year's PPeH and this: https://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Suicide/Amitriptyline_cocktail

My weight at the time was 150 lbs. No problem, I'm glad I can help.

 

[Random]

100 tablets chloroquine phosphate à 250mg.

I went by the dignified dying dose. It recommends 17.5g or 70 tablets of phosphate. I bought 4 packs Avloclor. So 20 grams or 80 in total. Will that cover me ? Thanks

 

[Spiko]

I went by the dignified dying dose. It recommends 17.5g or 70 tablets of phosphate. I bought 4 packs Avloclor. So 20 grams or 80 in total. Will that cover me ? Thanks

Many reports says, that 80 tablets are enough. But when i will do it, i will take 100 tablets. Maybe, if you can get +20 tablets more, so in total 100 tablets, it's even better.

 

[Donewith_]

You're welcome. I'm glad it could be of some help, at least my failure is good for something. I'm not sure how I could still be conscious since I have no memory of actually taking the stuff. I wouldn't have even known I had unless I had regained consciousness in the hospital and the medical staff and my mom reminded me what happened, along with what I had written down. I just used Zopiclone because I already had the presciption and since it's a sleeping pill I thought it would help make sure I didn't regain consciousness before I went into cardiac arrest. I've been on sleeping pills and benzos for years so I kind of have a high tolerance, although I've never taken high doses except when I made suicide attempts in the past. I didn't have any short acting benzos as I tend to react quickly to meds and pass out quickly from large doses of Diazepam. I made the attempt probably around midnight and my mom said she found me around 2 AM. It was about 6 months ago. I wasn't aware that the Tagamet dosage had changed. I based my information on a combination of last year's PPeH and this: https://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Suicide/Amitriptyline_cocktail

My weight at the time was 150 lbs. No problem, I'm glad I can help.

I assume the damage was less because you were found soon.. its good that there are no long lasting effects which is a big thing. This experience of yours is really useful to me and others who will prefer this method.. so its not a failure. A self-less help you are doing with that experience, thanks.

 

[Random]

Many reports says, that 80 tablets are enough. But when i will do it, i will take 100 tablets. Maybe, if you can get +20 tablets more, so in total 100 tablets, it's even better.

Cheers man, thanks for your help

 

[Prénom Surnom]

Yes, I have read about the ocular damage aspect but from what I gather, it only applies to those on the drug form long term, it rarely happens to an acute od.

This is correct. I have been prescribed it for several years and they check your eyes every 6 months. In some people the toxic effects can build up in the eyes over time. They assured me it only happens with long term use and it's very rare and in most of those cases when the drug is stopped, the eyes return to normal. Only a few of those people had permanent damage and there may be unknown factors . If you fail, your eyes would only be exposed to it for a very short time.

 

[secoma]

Unfortunately I can't be of much help because I have absolutely no memory of it at all. This is actually the first time this has ever happened to me, even though I've been in a coma before. I believe it stems from permanent cognitive decline and slight brain damage because of it. To this day I still have little short term memory. All I remember is waking up in the ICU a week later. I can only go by what medical staff and my mother, who found me say. I remember saving up the stuff, but can't remember taking it at all, almost 6 months later. I wrote down everything I took ahead of time to make sure I had everything when the time came. I took 60mg of Metoclopramide, 800mg of Tagamet, 8gm of Amitriptyline, 300mg of Diazepam, and 450mg of Zopiclone. I only took a stat dosage of the Metoclopramide and Tagamet. I also downed a 375ml bottle of Vodka, though I don't know how much I actually drank before I passed out, but I was told the bottle was found empty along with all the pill bottles, so I must have got everything down before I lost consciousness. Supposedly I didn't throw up, so the recommended dosage of anti-emetics worked. My mother said I was convulsing when she found me (unfortunately I don't know exactly how long after I took it this would have been but my mom says that I probably left my room and collapsed in the front hallway 2 hours after I went in my room (I took everything as soon as I went in there and closed the door but I somehow in a barely conscious state was able to get out of my bed walk to the door, open it and walk to the front hallway before collapsing). By the time the paramedics got there I was blue and I had to be given defibrillation as I had gone into cardiac arrest. They had to do thorough blood work to figure out what I took because I purposely took the labels off of all the pill bottles. I also made sure to crush the Diazepam and Zopiclone into powder beforehand along with prepping the Amitriptyline, which was in capsule form, so I emptied every capsule and poured the powder into pill bottles. I had to be kept on a ventilator for a week as I couldn't breathe on my own. I ended up having an allergic reaction to the antidote and ended up with rashes all over my body (which still haven't completely healed) and the hand where they inserted the IV completely swelled up and turned red (they said it looked like a lobster claw), the skin on it was also peeling off and to this day it still looks red and swollen and covered in scars and what looks like a chemical burn and it still hurts. When I gained consciousness I had trouble walking and moving around and had to use a walker for the 2 weeks I was there (1 week in the ICU and 1 week in the recovery unit). I had no strength and my chest hurt a lot. I also had a viral infection from being incubated and lost my voice and all feeling in my tongue. I had to be on antibiotics for about a month but eventually I regained feeling in my tongue and my voice came back. I also got a UTI from the catheter. Luckily I was able to be discharged and not sent to the psych ward because my parents talked them out of it, since I've already been many times and it's never been a help and also because the 72-hour hold had expired. Once I got home I regained my strength and was able to move without any problems. The only major long term consequences are occasional irregular heart beat and sharp chest pain (which I take Aspirin for) and the neurological issues like short term memory loss and decreased cognitive abilities (although I can still function pretty much the same). Sorry for the long post, I wanted to make sure I didn't forget anything.

I would like to one day obtain my medical records from the hospital so I can read about everything that happened, as far as symptoms I was experiencing while in a coma. I was able to do that for a previous overdose on opiates and benzos that also left me in a coma.



See my post above. :)

Can I ask if you want to CTB next time, do you wanna go with the same amitriptyline method again? or another method?

 

[JadedGray]

I assume the damage was less because you were found soon.. its good that there are no long lasting effects which is a big thing. This experience of yours is really useful to me and others who will prefer this method.. so its not a failure. A self-less help you are doing with that experience, thanks.

Yes, I was lucky in that regard. I know it could have been a lot worse. I'm glad there was no real lasting damage. You're right it's not a complete failure as far as it being able to help people be successful in the future. Thanks for your kind words. What I took most from this and would advise others is to make sure you are not found. This is the only reason I'm still here.

Can I ask if you want to CTB next time, do you wanna go with the same amitriptyline method again? or another method?

I would try this method again if I didn't mind saving the stuff up again. Last time it took me 6 months. Right now I don't have a doctor, so it's not an option. I doubt I could find a doctor that would prescribe Amitriptyline again anyways. But if I had the stuff and knew a place where I would not be found for at least 8 hours I would definitely try this method again. The only negative symptoms I experienced were after I failed by being found and gaining consciousness.

I'm sorry for derailing this thread. If anyone has any more questions feel free to post them on my profile or PM me. Thanks.

 

[NextSummer]

Here i have a source:

Medikamente für den Tod | APOTHEKE ADHOC

Rund 4800 Menschen haben sich 2013 in den Niederlanden von Ärzten beim Suizid helfen lassen, in Belgien waren es 1807. Sowohl passive als auch aktive Sterbehilfe ist in den beiden Ländern erlaubt. Wie verbreitet Sterbehilfe in Deutschland ist, lässt sich nur schätzen: Von rund 150 Fällen pro...

www.apotheke-adhoc.de

It's all in german, but the important info is "und 80 bis 100 Tabletten des Malariamittels Chloroquin für die tödliche Wirkung. "

Just making clear, what's written there:

Metoclopramid
80-100 tablets Chloroquin
500- 750 milligramm Diazepam

----------

In assisted suicide in Germany (before it was banned), they crushed the tablets in a coffee mill and mixed it into applesauce to enhance the taste of the mix

 

[headinghome]

Yes, I was lucky in that regard. I know it could have been a lot worse. I'm glad there was no real lasting damage. You're right it's not a complete failure as far as it being able to help people be successful in the future. Thanks for your kind words. What I took most from this and would advise others is to make sure you are not found. This is the only reason I'm still here.



I would try this method again if I didn't mind saving the stuff up again. Last time it took me 6 months. Right now I don't have a doctor, so it's not an option. I doubt I could find a doctor that would prescribe Amitriptyline again anyways. But if I had the stuff and knew a place where I would not be found for at least 8 hours I would definitely try this method again. The only negative symptoms I experienced were after I failed by being found and gaining consciousness.

I'm sorry for derailing this thread. If anyone has any more questions feel free to post them on my profile or PM me. Thanks.

sorry you did not succeed after all your time and effort.... were you really angry when you realized that you hadn't died ?? that certainly seems like enough substances to do you in! I guess it was because you were found in time… I agree I think if they hadn't brought you to the hospital you would've died…

 

[JadedGray]

sorry you did not succeed after all your time and effort.... were you really angry when you realized that you hadn't died ?? that certainly seems like enough substances to do you in! I guess it was because you were found in time… I agree I think if they hadn't brought you to the hospital you would've died…

Thanks. I was too emotionally drained at the time to be angry. I was more angry when I got home because all I could think about was that I shouldn't be here and now I have to go back to this miserable existence that I was so close escaping from. Now I'm just in the mindset of finding another method, getting everything I need, and finding a place to do it where I won't be found until it's too late for any intervention.

 

[headinghome]

Thanks. I was too emotionally drained at the time to be angry. I was more angry when I got home because all I could think about was that I shouldn't be here and now I have to go back to this miserable existence that I was so close escaping from. Now I'm just in the mindset of finding another method, getting everything I need, and finding a place to do it where I won't be found until it's too late for any intervention.

How will you ever get any more drugs…… You must be pretty brave

 

[JadedGray]

How will you ever get any more drugs…… You must be pretty brave

I can't right now. I don't have a doctor and no doctor would ever prescribe me Amitriptyline again. I'm more than likely going to get SN (I'm still waiting for it to be delivered) or N. I'm not brave at all. If I was I would have done this a long time ago instead of waiting for my life to get to the point where I have no choice but to end it now.

 

[headinghome]

I can't right now. I don't have a doctor and no doctor would ever prescribe me Amitriptyline again. I'm more than likely going to get SN (I'm still waiting for it to be delivered) or N. I'm not brave at all. If I was I would have done this a long time ago instead of waiting for my life to get to the point where I have no choice but to end it now.

if you don't mind me asking… Why do you feel you have no choice?

 

[JadedGray]

if you don't mind me asking… Why do you feel you have no choice?

I feel I have no future. I'm unable to function because of cognitive decline from years of psychotropic drugs, severe DP/DR, lifelong depression/anxiety and physical health problems. I have no family except my elderly dog and parents and once they're gone I'll have no one. I've never had any friends or relationships. I have no prospects, dreams or ambitions. I have no reason to live or be here. I wake up with dread every morning facing another day of being housebound and unable to do anything and I cry myself to sleep every night, preying for an end to this purgatory my life has become. Nothing brings me any enjoyment or happiness anymore. I'm essentially waiting around until I die. I don't see the point in continuing. Nothing ever gets better and my life has been nothing but a downward spiral. I fear what awaits me in the future, as something always seems to come along. Not to mention I can't escape the pain of the past. My life has been nothing but misery that I just want to end before I face an unknown future, more than likely languishing in an institution alone.

 

[headinghome]

I feel I have no future. I'm unable to function because of cognitive decline from years of psychotropic drugs, severe DP/DR, lifelong depression/anxiety and physical health problems. I have no family except my elderly dog and parents and once they're gone I'll have no one. I've never had any friends or relationships. I have no prospects, dreams or ambitions. I have no reason to live or be here. I wake up with dread every morning facing another day of being housebound and unable to do anything and I cry myself to sleep every night, preying for an end to this purgatory my life has become. Nothing brings me any enjoyment or happiness anymore. I'm essentially waiting around until I die. I don't see the point in continuing. Nothing ever gets better and my life has been nothing but a downward spiral. I fear what awaits me in the future, as something always seems to come along. Not to mention I can't escape the pain of the past. My life has been nothing but misery that I just want to end before I face an unknown future, more than likely languishing in an institution alone.

This story does sound rather hopeless…… But certainly you can't leave before your dog…

 

[JadedGray]

This story does sound rather hopeless…… But certainly you can't leave before your dog…

I don't think I could go through the pain of losing the only friend I've ever had. I'd rather go before her. Dogs (and animals in general) are more able to adapt and move on from loss than humans and I feel she would eventually get over my absence.

 

[headinghome]

I don't think I could go through the pain of losing the only friend I've ever had. I'd rather go before her. Dogs (and animals in general) are more able to adapt and move on from loss than humans and I feel she would eventually get over my absence.

Who do you think is going to adopt an old dog… She would end up in a shelter and then be euthanized… I've seen this happen many times and you really need to think about your pet

 

[JadedGray]

Who do you think is going to adopt an old dog… She would end up in a shelter and then be euthanized… I've seen this happen many times and you really need to think about your pet

That won't be an issue. I live with my mom and she would take care of her... she already does for the most part. I wouldn't do it if I lived alone and there was no one to take care of her once I was gone.