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AnimeSlayersFan

AnimeSlayersFan

Student
Jul 18, 2025
124
Life has been funny lately, my mom was buggining me to get a job, think I found pretty impossible or I didn't want to do it, so I took 1 box of clonazepam and went to sleep after a while, woke up in the hospital when they were cleaning out my stomach with some weird thing that drew all the drugs I took, it was like plugged in my nose and I woke up to the sound of "breeeatheee breaaatheee" and me like choking.
I felt nice having my family come and pity me and say nice things about me, my goal of avoiding getting a job was successful, I figured I didn't quite wanted to end it all, but I still wanted to do something, after that I was admitted to a mental ward with a bunch of drug addicts, well, not at first, at first I went to the VIP section, and before getting downgraded to the plebs section I played this on the giant LCD screen they had there

I realized that I haven't had any friends coming a few years back, like a solid 4 or 5 years.
I missed chatting here on sanctioned suicide, as I found this to be a really understanding place, I'm struggling with strong emotions and I'm medicated for bipolar, although I don't know how much this helps or not, in any case, I wanna quit my pills again, and I hope to be doing it in the next year, just because fuck you you know, I don't like being told what to do.
I will probably try to get some kind of employment, although as a real life Satou from NHK, im a total neet with no job history, add to that that im short at 5´4, and I have an annoying, I don't know if disease or maladaptive habit, in which I pee quite often, and I worry how this would work in a job where I wanna take a break like every hour.
So yeah! I missed you guys, and that's the recap of what happened to me, now I'm with a new therapist, and I choked myself a few mins ago, my psychiatrist says there's some release on self harm acts, some "positive emotion", and although I don't think he meant it was okay to hurt myself he also didn't explicitly said "don't choke yourself" so yea, im just living life haha.
How've you guys been?
 

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