Help Cant stop thinking about cutting

[bipbapbop]

I have never cut before and have no history of physical self harm but I haven't been able to stop thinking about cutting. I don't even know what it would do for me or feel like but my brain keeps telling me to cut open my thigh and I can't stop visualizing it. Would it be so bad just to try it? What are the chances i won't like it and I'll just stop? I'm very scared right now

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Yes, it would be bad to just try it. There have been cases of people trying it and then becoming addicted to it. It's a bad coping mechanism and you'll end up regretting it. I only stopped self-harming around a month ago and I regret having ever done so in the first place. You'll only get short-term results from it and it's all at the expense of your well-being. To make matters worse, there is a lot of aftercare that comes with cutting, particularly for deeper cuts. Do what you want, but I really don't recommend giving into those urges. It's not worth it.

 

[bipbapbop]

Yes, it would be bad to just try it. There have been cases of people trying it and then becoming addicted to it. It's a bad coping mechanism and you'll end up regretting it. I only stopped self-harming around a month ago and I regret having ever done so in the first place. You'll only get short-term results from it and it's all at the expense of your well-being. To make matters worse, there is a lot of aftercare that comes with cutting, particularly for deeper cuts. Do what you want, but I really don't recommend giving into those urges. It's not worth it.

Why do you regret it? The voice inside my head is just so loud right now it's overwhelming

 

[willitpass]

Self harm is NEVER road you want to travel down. "Just one cut" turns into a lifetime of fighting the urge. There guilt, fear, hiding. It gets worse over time. Try to find some other outlet like intense exercise or something that can distract you from the thoughts.

 

[mehdone]

Don't take this as encouragement.

I've been cutting for decades. It has kept me alive. I absolutely would not still be breathing if it I didn't have that coping mechanism.

But it is not a healthy coping mechanism, and it is addictive in the sense that if you find it helps- it is very hard to stop if you decide you want to. It's not a matter of just "trying it" and becoming addicted to it, though. Addictions don't work this way, they require repeated choices.

But we all do what we must to survive, right? It is not the best coping mechanism in the world. It's a bad one. Probably better than drugs though. I might be covered in scars, but I'm pretty sure the drugs did more damage internally and mentally than bleeding ever did.

Still, therapy would be better. :P

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Why do you regret it? The voice inside my head is just so loud right now it's overwhelming

It didn't accomplish anything. I'd always feel worse once the "high" was gone and I eventually started cutting deeper, leading to me now having permanent scars on my arms. They constantly itch, they are sensitive, and they hurt sometimes. I spent a good amount of my money buying first aid supplies in order to keep myself from getting an infection all because instead of learning to properly cope with and confront my problems I instead decided to hurt myself.

Those voices will die down and go eventually go away. Any damage you inflict on yourself via cutting, however, whether it be psychological or, depending on the severity, physical will likely stay with you for a very long time. It's a very unhealthy coping mechanism and many cutters have talked about developing sh addictions over time. Hence why so many SHers will tell you to never self-harm. It's not a good road to go down.

 

[bipbapbop]

Can anyone explain why I am feeling this urge? I have never had this issue before and have suddenly been overwhelmed with the thought. Is it related to me finalizing my ctb plans?

Self harm is NEVER road you want to travel down. "Just one cut" turns into a lifetime of fighting the urge. There guilt, fear, hiding. It gets worse over time. Try to find some other outlet like intense exercise or something that can distract you from the thoughts.

Thanks my typical SH techniques are not desirable at all right now so i wonder if this urge is trying to replace them.

Don't take this as encouragement.

I've been cutting for decades. It has kept me alive. I absolutely would not still be breathing if it I didn't have that coping mechanism.

But it is not a healthy coping mechanism, and it is addictive in the sense that if you find it helps- it is very hard to stop if you decide you want to. It's not a matter of just "trying it" and becoming addicted to it, though. Addictions don't work this way, they require repeated choices.

But we all do what we must to survive, right? It is not the best coping mechanism in the world. It's a bad one. Probably better than drugs though. I might be covered in scars, but I'm pretty sure the drugs did more damage internally and mentally than bleeding ever did.

Still, therapy would be better. :P

Thank you for the insight. I really appreciate it.

 

[willitpass]

Can anyone explain why I am feeling this urge? I have never had this issue before and have suddenly been overwhelmed with the thought. Is it related to me finalizing my ctb plans?

Ultimately only you can answer this, but I'd suspect your mind is trying to find a way to cope. When your mind no longer has the skills to handle all of your emotions and problems it will start to seek out some sort of solution, even if it turns out to be unhealthy and unhelpful. I think you're possibly severely stressed and overwhelmed and don't know what else to do. I think searching for another intense but less harmful outlet could potentially lessen these thoughts. At the end of the day you're the only one inside of your head to know any of the answers though.

 

[bipbapbop]

Probably not a fun update but i just smashed my head against the wall a bunch and the urge to cut is gone

Ultimately only you can answer this, but I'd suspect your mind is trying to find a way to cope. When your mind no longer has the skills to handle all of your emotions and problems it will start to seek out some sort of solution, even if it turns out to be unhealthy and unhelpful. I think you're possibly severely stressed and overwhelmed and don't know what else to do. I think searching for another intense but less harmful outlet could potentially lessen these thoughts. At the end of the day you're the only one inside of your head to know any of the answers though.

Thank you this was very insightful

 

[cryingwithkira]

I have never cut before and have no history of physical self harm but I haven't been able to stop thinking about cutting. I don't even know what it would do for me or feel like but my brain keeps telling me to cut open my thigh and I can't stop visualizing it. Would it be so bad just to try it? What are the chances i won't like it and I'll just stop? I'm very scared right now

it's not that bad considering way worse things u can do to urself but js know if u start u prolly wont quit

 

[bipbapbop]

it's not that bad considering way worse things u can do to urself but js know if u start u prolly wont quit

Thanks for your insight. I have heard often that you probably won't stop if you start. Do you know why? Just curious.

 

[cryingwithkira]

Thanks for your insight. I have heard often that you probably won't stop if you start. Do you know why? Just curious.

well it js helps a lot physical pain distracts emotional pain and when u feel sm pain thas all u think about if that makes sense

 

[bipbapbop]

well it js helps a lot physical pain distracts emotional pain and when u feel sm pain thas all u think about if that makes sense

Yes that does make sense. Ty for explaining

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

Can anyone explain why I am feeling this urge? I have never had this issue before and have suddenly been overwhelmed with the thought. Is it related to me finalizing my ctb plans?

Thanks my typical SH techniques are not desirable at all right now so i wonder if this urge is trying to replace them.

Thank you for the insight. I really appreciate it.

Perhaps you want people to know you're in pain?

 

[PanaxMan]

I have never cut before and have no history of physical self harm but I haven't been able to stop thinking about cutting. I don't even know what it would do for me or feel like but my brain keeps telling me to cut open my thigh and I can't stop visualizing it. Would it be so bad just to try it? What are the chances i won't like it and I'll just stop? I'm very scared right now

doesn't work, less than 5% even get there. FInd another way peacefully or not.

 

[Ash]

Self harm, in any form, is addictive and ultimately as unhelpful as any other means of escape or relief (drugs, alcohol etc). And it can leave you with lasting damage way beyond the appearance of scars. I'm currently badly anaemic from cutting so much and can just about walk from room to room without stopping for breath as a result. My dog hasn't been walked for ten days and there's no sign I'll be able to manage it any time soon. This is not what I imagined when I made the conscious choice to pick up that blade.

Also, please do not risk brain injury by banging your head against the wall.

If you need to relieve your emotions physically, I highly recommend boxing or running or cycling or something that will allow you to push yourself to your limits, give you the high from endorphins and suffering but will take you down a different path. Nobody regrets being fit and healthy. I don't know many self harmers who can say the same.

 

[AkaRed]

I've also been having the same urges, actually. And the only thread keeping me from stopping myself is inconvenience. SH is something that feels relieving to me, it's an outlet, and a way to reaffirm the comforts of my pain. A way to punish myself for my failures and remind myself of every reason I am here.
SH is very addictive, but very inconvenient at the same time. Trying to shower with fresh cuts is... fucking ouch. I also don't really have a good way to hide the cuts if it were to be on my arms, and the chafing on my thighs with cuts is irritating as all hell.

You're probably having these urges as a coping mechanism, a distant impulse and just a way to relieve internal pain all together. I absolutely don't recommend you start at all, because it becomes such a habit when you really get into it. Please take care of yourself, and look into aftercare if you do end up giving into those urges.

<3

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

"Great mental suffering makes us insensible to bodily pain; we despise it; nay, if it should outweigh the other, it distracts our thoughts, and we welcome it as a pause in mental suffering. [...] the bodily pain that accompanies it loses all significance in the eyes of one who is tortured by an excess of mental suffering." - Arthur Schopenhauer

 

[PanaxMan]

"Great mental suffering makes us insensible to bodily pain; we despise it; nay, if it should outweigh the other, it distracts our thoughts, and we welcome it as a pause in mental suffering. [...] the bodily pain that accompanies it loses all significance in the eyes of one who is tortured by an excess of mental suffering." - Arthur Schopenhauer

I agree, what a quote

 

[bipbapbop]

Perhaps you want people to know you're in pain?

Maybe? I don't think so but obviously my heads not on straight right now. Are you suggesting that I want people to see physical evidence of my pain because I think I definitely don't want that

doesn't work, less than 5% even get there. FInd another way peacefully or not.

What do you mean less than 5% even get there?

Self harm, in any form, is addictive and ultimately as unhelpful as any other means of escape or relief (drugs, alcohol etc). And it can leave you with lasting damage way beyond the appearance of scars. I'm currently badly anaemic from cutting so much and can just about walk from room to room without stopping for breath as a result. My dog hasn't been walked for ten days and there's no sign I'll be able to manage it any time soon. This is not what I imagined when I made the conscious choice to pick up that blade.

Also, please do not risk brain injury by banging your head against the wall.

If you need to relieve your emotions physically, I highly recommend boxing or running or cycling or something that will allow you to push yourself to your limits, give you the high from endorphins and suffering but will take you down a different path. Nobody regrets being fit and healthy. I don't know many self harmers who can say the same.

Ty for the suggestions. Unfortunately my SH impulses are always based around self punishment so I don't think exercise will work because of its connection with positive life enhancements. I wish I could trick myself into it :/

I've also been having the same urges, actually. And the only thread keeping me from stopping myself is inconvenience. SH is something that feels relieving to me, it's an outlet, and a way to reaffirm the comforts of my pain. A way to punish myself for my failures and remind myself of every reason I am here.
SH is very addictive, but very inconvenient at the same time. Trying to shower with fresh cuts is... fucking ouch. I also don't really have a good way to hide the cuts if it were to be on my arms, and the chafing on my thighs with cuts is irritating as all hell.

You're probably having these urges as a coping mechanism, a distant impulse and just a way to relieve internal pain all together. I absolutely don't recommend you start at all, because it becomes such a habit when you really get into it. Please take care of yourself, and look into aftercare if you do end up giving into those urges.

<3

Thanks for the advice. I will look into aftercare before i make any decisions.

 

[Ash]

for the suggestions. Unfortunately my SH impulses are always based around self punishment so I don't think exercise will work because of its connection with positive life enhancements. I wish I could trick myself into it :/

My SH is largely about punishment, too. I do understand what you're saying. I'm not talking about going out for a jolly. Running or cycling up a bloody steep hill when your legs are screaming, or beating the crap out of a punching bag *are* punishment. The reason I'm self harming so much at the moment is that I can't beat myself up with difficult physical challenges.

 

[willitpass]

My SH is largely about punishment, too. I do understand what you're saying. I'm not talking about going out for a jolly. Running or cycling up a bloody steep hill when your legs are screaming, or beating the crap out of a punching bag *are* punishment. The reason I'm self harming so much at the moment is that I can't beat myself up with difficult physical challenges.

This. Don't think of it as bettering yourself, think of it as pain. Is it still unhealthy? Yeah. But trust me when I say you'll be better off doing 100 burpees until you can't move on the floor and everything burns and it's hard to walk the next day than cutting yourself.

 

[Ash]

This. Don't think of it as bettering yourself, think of it as pain. Is it still unhealthy? Yeah. But trust me when I say you'll be better off doing 100 burpees until you can't move on the floor and everything burns and it's hard to walk the next day than cutting yourself.

Or kickboxing one evening with extra emphasis on the kicking - and then trying to walk down a long flight of stairs the next. I was tempted to sit down and stay there forever.

 

[willitpass]

Or kickboxing one evening with extra emphasis on the kicking - and then trying to walk down a long flight of stairs the next. I was tempted to sit down and stay there forever.

I use running as a replacement for self harm when I want to feel better and not give in. When I exercise to punish myself I usually get on my stationary bike and go to exhaustion, to the point I can hardly sit up anymore, resting my head on the handle bars but won't allow myself to stop.

 

[mehdone]

As someone else said, the aftercare from cutting is a pain in the ass.

Changing bandages- if you do choose to cut, it's easier to let them fall off in the shower, less likely to tear things back open. Being constantly paranoid that they will reopen and bleed through your clothing. The itching once it starts to properly heal.

 

[bookgirl]

don't do it