cant seem to do it no matter how desperate.

[nightlighter]

I've been wanting to ctb for a while now but no matter how bad my mental health gets or how desperate i am to do it i am never able to go through with it. either my human survival instincts are holding me back or sometimes i feel like im not even serious about it, like a thought thats not my own telling me i have no valid reason to do it. My method is to jump and I have the location and building perfectly picked out and its so easy to go through with it, its very high and I've studied as much as i can about how to ensure a jump succeeds, but theres still that thing holding me back. does anyone know how to desensitize myself to this? I am genuinely so tired of fighting my own brain.

 

[U. A.]

how to desensitize myself to this?

my human survival instincts are holding me back

Every cell in your body is made to continue living. "You" are one small thing compared to the trillions of cells that are you. This will never be an easy or a quick thing to overcome.

 

[nightlighter]

Every cell in your body is made to continue living. "You" are one small thing compared to the trillions of cells that are you. This will never be an easy or a quick thing to overcome.

understandable, really when ctb you just have to go for it i guess theres no way out of this fight gosh i wish it was easier

 

[animetal]

I find benadryl to be heavily sedating in higher doses and i personally like that feeling i think ctb with it would be much easier. I hope things work out for you whatever you decide

 

[nightlighter]

I find benadryl to be heavily sedating in higher doses and i personally like that feeling i think ctb with it would be much easier. I hope things work out for you whatever you decide

how much do you recommend taking?

 

[animetal]

how much do you recommend taking?

I took 750mg but it also causes delirium at a dose that high so i recommend just taking like 60mg to see how you and your body reacts to it and how you feel overrall before all else.