Can we do something a little backwards?

[hiddenbpd]

I want to ctb, as do most of us. Personally, I'm having trouble understanding why someone would not want someone whom they care about to have the option of stopping the suffering.
If someone close to you wanted to ctb (think the most important person to you), what would you say/do? How do you feel about people trying to help you stay alive?

 

[jodes2]

I would try to discourage them probably, even if I wanted to CTB too. Chances are it's an impulsive decision of theirs which I'd be against I'd try to support their recovery but in the end I guess I'd accept it

 

[U. A.]

I consider choosing death a viable, but absolutely final option. Depending on how well I knew this person, I'd help them do whatever they thought might give them a shot at recovery, as well as try to provide an external voice of clarity to help identify things they may overlook. I wouldn't assist them in any way, but I'd also not condemn or hinder their wishes should they choose to quit RL.

 

[hiddenbpd]

I consider choosing death a viable, but absolutely final option. Depending on how well I knew this person, I'd help them do whatever they thought might give them a shot at recovery, as well as try to provide an external voice of clarity to help identify things they may overlook. I wouldn't assist them in any way, but I'd also not condemn or hinder their wishes should they choose to quit RL.

I wish I had the support of someone like you. The one support person I have is completely against my desire to ctb and it's frustrating sometimes. Hence why I value SS so much .

 

[U. A.]

I wish I had the support of someone like you. The one support person I have is completely against my desire to ctb and it's frustrating sometimes. Hence why I value SS so much .

I do think it's different for those who have never really struggled, don't know us well enough, or both. We here know the score, and support eachother in whatever digital, less-than-satisfying way we can.

 

[FuneralCry]

To answer the first part of your post, many people don't respect the option of ctb because of selfish reasons. They wouldn't want somebody close to them to leave this world as it would have a negative impact on their life and they also cannot see life from the other person's perspective, they cannot comprehend what they go through and many people in this world refuse to see suicide as being a rational choice as it would shatter their worldview that life is always worth enduring. Many people are also in denial of the fact that life could possibly get that awful for them, to the point that they wish for suicide so they refuse to accept it as an option.
If someone wishes to ctb then it's their life and their decision, only they are the ones experiencing their life so only they know if ctb is the best thing for themselves. Nobody else has the right to interfere with this.

 

[letsmakeitagoodworl]

Probably one because people who aren't in such mental pain don't understand how bad it feels, but they also rightly probably see more clearly that for MANY people the right care & ife situations could help them not wanna die.
I think pep on here like me want to help others because although we feel put own situation is impossible we don't believe everyone's is. I particuarly worry about young ones whose brains havnt developed fully and may very well not wanna die with a few more years to develop and get help. Ik one guy in a unit with me who killed himself, still breaks my heart, he was young & impulsive, ik he would have improved with time and the right help.

 

[hiddenbpd]

To answer the first part of your post, many people don't respect the option of ctb because of selfish reasons. They wouldn't want somebody close to them to leave this world as it would have a negative impact on their life and they also cannot see life from the other person's perspective, they cannot comprehend what they go through and many people in this world refuse to see suicide as being a rational choice as it would shatter their worldview that life is always worth enduring. Many people are also in denial of the fact that life could possibly get that awful for them, to the point that they wish for suicide so they refuse to accept it as an option.
If someone wishes to ctb then it's their life and their decision, only they are the ones experiencing their life so only they know if ctb is the best thing for themselves. Nobody else has the right to interfere with this.

That's all true for sure. So would you be okay with someone close to you wishing to die by suicide then?

 

[Life_and_Death]

i treat them the same way id treat anyone else. id talk to them and if they were 100% sure id be there for them

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's a very difficult position to be in because- on the one hand, you know yourself how awful, dark and utterly desperate someone must be feeling to want to CTB. Plus- if you see it as a viable solution yourself, it's kind of hypocritical to try and prevent them from doing it.

Still- I guess the most important thing I think would be to let them know that they can tell tell you anything and you won't judge them. That you want them to tell you everything that's wrong and do your best to listen. It could well be that you can't help but at least you tried to make them feel less alone.

 

[brokensea]

I think love is inherently selfish. Death is a difficult thing to face. It can take many years to be ok again when someone you love dies and it can shatter your life in some ways forever.

I think I see good things in people. Reasons they can go on. Problems that can be fixable perhaps in time. I don't feel my particular problems are fixable. So others may not be as well.

I would try to see if there was any hope for anything at all that things could be better or if any love or future would want to be lived if things could be the way they wish. For some people it isn't possible. It's more than a break up, a death, a lost job, failing at school, family problems. I feel if someone wanted, those things can be dealt with. But to have a permanent problem that will forever affect your quality of life. That can never be fixed, changed or overcome what can one do then?

You don't want anyone to suffer or feel the only way out is to die. But sometimes living is worse than non existence. That they ever got to that point is incredibly sad. I would try to support someone in their dreams as much as I could and to provide love if someone confided in me. But if a problem is not fixable how can I say it also isn't ok for them to do that?

 

[FuneralCry]

That's all true for sure. So would you be okay with someone close to you wishing to die by suicide then?

If that is what they wished for, then it's up to them. Nobody should be forced to suffer.

 

[neonzebra]

I'm very close to one of my cousins who is suicidal and has been for years.
I just talk to her about how she is feeling and try to spend happy times with her when we are together.
We don't try to persuade each other out of anything.

 

[DysphoriaKilledMe]

I want to ctb, as do most of us. Personally, I'm having trouble understanding why someone would not want someone whom they care about to have the option of stopping the suffering.
If someone close to you wanted to ctb (think the most important person to you), what would you say/do? How do you feel about people trying to help you stay alive?

I would probably be hypocritical and try to discourage them from doing so. However, I would be complicit in their prolonged suffering. I am glad I haven't been put into this position.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

As pro-choice as someone is, I still suspect that if someone they knew (and loved) wanted to ctb, they'd still do everything in their power to make sure that person didn't. Think your children here. I can't imagine a parent encouraging their child to ctb or being OK with it. I mean, what parent wants to bury their child for whatever reason? That position could temper a bit if their child was in some type of severe agony. Still, most people don't want to see others die, and that includes yourself seeing yourself die, hence SI.

 

[Sapphire]

That's a very difficult position that I hope I am never in. Even though I have chosen this option myself, I wouldn't be ok with someone close to me wanting to ctb. I would talk to them about how they are feeling and ask them what is going on in their life and why they feel like they have to ctb. I would try to help them find another solution to their problems. I know that there are some problems that can't be easily fixed, but I would want them to know that ctb isn't the only option they have. I would encourage them to try recovery first. I would let them know whatever they decide, they can talk to me about it.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

I consider choosing death a viable, but absolutely final option. Depending on how well I knew this person, I'd help them do whatever they thought might give them a shot at recovery, as well as try to provide an external voice of clarity to help identify things they may overlook. I wouldn't assist them in any way, but I'd also not condemn or hinder their wishes should they choose to quit RL.

You are who I wish I could be surrounded by. It would make this all so much less painful.