Can I even CTB?

[Tionally]

I have SN (even though I don't have antiemetics but it could work without them) I somewhat wrote my suicide notes. I could just ctb now but I haven't for some reason. Will I ever be ready to leave this world or will I continue to live while still feeling terribly. Can I even do it? I don't know. I don't want to go on anymore but the thought of not existing is also scary. It feels like no matter what I do it's a bad choice.

 

[Altalune]

It is a bad choice regardless of what you do. On one hand, you can keep on living and suffer. Everyone else would be fine but you would have to live with whatever has been tormenting you. On the other hand, you could leave and everyone else would have to suffer the fallout. At one point, you have to decide whether you see any hope for things to get better in the future or not. I do not anymore, and I have made my decision to CTB. Perhaps there's hope for you still. I will never encourage anyone to CTB until they're absolutely 100% sure they have no other choice, and even then I will wonder if there is still something that could be done for them. Please, weigh your options carefully. There's a lot to do before it comes to this.

 

[iDontKnowWhat]

I have 12 grams of phenobarbital and alcohol, but i have so much fear of fail and back with sequel. I'd like to have Nembutal, but...

I agree with Altalune, i also will never encourage anyone to CTB until they're absolutely 100% sure they have no other choice.

Perhaps there's hope for you still

 

[Some place nice]

I hope you can find peace in whatever decision you make.