ladidabi
Losing all hope is freedom.
- Mar 19, 2023
- 110
I have a history of weird and shit things happening in the family, a lot of it is mentioned in older posts, but I don't think its relevant for this situation.
I have 2 sisters, youngest is 7 years younger . We have been really close for a while now, but not so much when we were both kids. Things seemed quite good actually, but lately she has changed for the worse. She has become insanely hateful towards me, my parents and some of her friends. Most of her quite horrible comments are after looks. My parents laugh it off, my dad has told me behind her back that she has been very «unstable». She switches fast in mood, and my parents describe it as a result of her «still maturing». I personally don't think that applies as she is 17, but do let me know how you view it.
All of her comments is mainly about weight. She talks about one her best friends for being fat because she went from a size small to medium.
Both me and my youngest sister have a history with ED, only difference is I was very heavy at my sw. I'm still going between binging and starving, only difference now is the loss is slower as my weight lowers now at a healthy weight. It's quite ironic because I helped her recover to a healthy weight and regular eating after my parents completely messed up with trying to help her by forcing and threatening her. I spent a lot of time to make her well, even though I sacrificed a lot of my personal time and set my own issues aside because I was concerned for her health.
I was trying to just laugh it off or ignore it, but it hit breaking point last Saturday. My dad asked me to come for breakfast at a restaurant, and my youngest sister was coming too. I accepted as I haven't seen them all week since I don't live with them. The first thing I get greeted with when I approached them is my sister physically pushing me away and shouting «Stay away from me, you're obese and we can't be seen with you. You're disgusting». The place was packed with people, borderline full. I noticed some people turned around and I felt this tsunami of shame. I was bullied growing up by my classmates, and none of the bullies have ever been so loud with their comments as she has been. I hate to say that my bullies were more discreet with how they bullied me, clearly to avoid trouble at school.
At first she only did this when there are other people around. When I would be with her alone in a room or on messages she was the sweetest thing, but now, no matter if you are alone with her or surrounded by others, she becomes really harsh and loud, no matter how gentle you are when you meet her.
I responded to her comment at the restaurant by just blankly staring and turning around to leave the building, get in my car, and drive home. I felt absolutely disgusting. I already have horrible self esteem, and the day before had an episode of SH, and this is what I get greeted with. It feels wrong to say I am being affected by a teenager. I'm weak. Like why am I being affected by her at almost 24.
My dad came after me and told me to come back, saying that she is just being «herself» and probably joking. She also joined and said it was just a joke. I felt I made the mistake of forgiving and coming back. The comments from her kept going, even to the breakfast I picked, which was a glass of water and a croissant. It wasn't even that off as she and my dad both had cinnamon rolls. She again, shames me for my choice.
I'm not gonna hide the fact that every interaction with her always is her fat shaming me, has made me even more miserable. I have tried to ask what I did that makes her say those things and she just says she is joking, and I'm taking it too seriously. Am I really? I don't know at this point… I'm not going to my family for a while.
She has also «exposed» the fact that I am friendless. That I am weird, she would say retarded. Even comments about my chronic pain, calling me a vegetable and disabled, or using my physical pain as a result of being a fatty, even though the pain existed since I started to walk.
It's like no matter what situation im in there will always be bullying. Classmates and other kids growing up, to coworkers as an adult, to psychologists, and now my sister. My relationship with my bf is kinda weird these days too, because I don't know how he really feels about me after he has suggested a few times to breaking up.
I feel truly alone, no friends irl or online. Once my parents pass away I would have no one to go to. Call it selfish, but I can't bear the thought of losing my parents, and would rather pass before them. I have nothing. I am nothing. Mentioning my sister again, she herself has said multiple times to me and to my parents behind my back that she wholeheartedly believes that I am a total loser and will die alone.
I already hate how I think, how I talk, and how I look. I don't want to keep being reminded of it by someone else.
I have 2 sisters, youngest is 7 years younger . We have been really close for a while now, but not so much when we were both kids. Things seemed quite good actually, but lately she has changed for the worse. She has become insanely hateful towards me, my parents and some of her friends. Most of her quite horrible comments are after looks. My parents laugh it off, my dad has told me behind her back that she has been very «unstable». She switches fast in mood, and my parents describe it as a result of her «still maturing». I personally don't think that applies as she is 17, but do let me know how you view it.
All of her comments is mainly about weight. She talks about one her best friends for being fat because she went from a size small to medium.
Both me and my youngest sister have a history with ED, only difference is I was very heavy at my sw. I'm still going between binging and starving, only difference now is the loss is slower as my weight lowers now at a healthy weight. It's quite ironic because I helped her recover to a healthy weight and regular eating after my parents completely messed up with trying to help her by forcing and threatening her. I spent a lot of time to make her well, even though I sacrificed a lot of my personal time and set my own issues aside because I was concerned for her health.
I was trying to just laugh it off or ignore it, but it hit breaking point last Saturday. My dad asked me to come for breakfast at a restaurant, and my youngest sister was coming too. I accepted as I haven't seen them all week since I don't live with them. The first thing I get greeted with when I approached them is my sister physically pushing me away and shouting «Stay away from me, you're obese and we can't be seen with you. You're disgusting». The place was packed with people, borderline full. I noticed some people turned around and I felt this tsunami of shame. I was bullied growing up by my classmates, and none of the bullies have ever been so loud with their comments as she has been. I hate to say that my bullies were more discreet with how they bullied me, clearly to avoid trouble at school.
At first she only did this when there are other people around. When I would be with her alone in a room or on messages she was the sweetest thing, but now, no matter if you are alone with her or surrounded by others, she becomes really harsh and loud, no matter how gentle you are when you meet her.
I responded to her comment at the restaurant by just blankly staring and turning around to leave the building, get in my car, and drive home. I felt absolutely disgusting. I already have horrible self esteem, and the day before had an episode of SH, and this is what I get greeted with. It feels wrong to say I am being affected by a teenager. I'm weak. Like why am I being affected by her at almost 24.
My dad came after me and told me to come back, saying that she is just being «herself» and probably joking. She also joined and said it was just a joke. I felt I made the mistake of forgiving and coming back. The comments from her kept going, even to the breakfast I picked, which was a glass of water and a croissant. It wasn't even that off as she and my dad both had cinnamon rolls. She again, shames me for my choice.
I'm not gonna hide the fact that every interaction with her always is her fat shaming me, has made me even more miserable. I have tried to ask what I did that makes her say those things and she just says she is joking, and I'm taking it too seriously. Am I really? I don't know at this point… I'm not going to my family for a while.
She has also «exposed» the fact that I am friendless. That I am weird, she would say retarded. Even comments about my chronic pain, calling me a vegetable and disabled, or using my physical pain as a result of being a fatty, even though the pain existed since I started to walk.
It's like no matter what situation im in there will always be bullying. Classmates and other kids growing up, to coworkers as an adult, to psychologists, and now my sister. My relationship with my bf is kinda weird these days too, because I don't know how he really feels about me after he has suggested a few times to breaking up.
I feel truly alone, no friends irl or online. Once my parents pass away I would have no one to go to. Call it selfish, but I can't bear the thought of losing my parents, and would rather pass before them. I have nothing. I am nothing. Mentioning my sister again, she herself has said multiple times to me and to my parents behind my back that she wholeheartedly believes that I am a total loser and will die alone.
I already hate how I think, how I talk, and how I look. I don't want to keep being reminded of it by someone else.
